Miracle
by lvrofreading
Summary: The Illusive Man saved Shepard's life but he took something more precious from her and she will stop at nothing to get it back. Slight AU, because i like happy endings. Includes Omega and Extended Cut.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an AU of Mass Effect 3 but it focuses more on Shepard and Kaidan than actual events. Starts with a brief scene in ME 1 but focuses on ME 3. I'ts fluffy and a bit angsty but I hope you all enjoy. Does include Omega and the Extended Cut.**

Chapter 1: A New Life

_Normandy, one month after Saren's attack on the Citadel_

Commander Tara Shepard awoke to the feel of the bed shift under her. She opened her eyes to the sight of the handsome Kaidan Alenko standing with his back to her, clad only in black boxers. He bent down to pick up his discarded pants and Tara let out a soft moan at the view. Kaidan turned to her, smirking as he put on his pants.

The sleepy commander sat up, the sheets pooled at her waist. "Do you have to go?"

Kaidan nodded, slipping on his shirt. He sat down beside her and reached for his boots.

"Morning shift starts in twenty minutes. I want to be out of here before anyone wakes up."

Tara gave him a stubborn pout that Kaidan found instantly arresting and adorable. On the field Commander Shepard was a warrior goddess, all muscle and skill. But Kaidan had quickly discovered that behind her fierce exterior was the picture of graceful femininity. She smiled and laughed and held him with tenderness and affection. He gazed at her now, once again thanking the creator for bringing to him the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. He looked into her piercing blue eyes and knew why he had fallen in love. He had wanted to tell her for weeks now, even before their passionate night before Illos; but he decided to wait until they had more time to be alone. The Alliance had sent them on an excursion for any remaining geth but they had been promised some extended shore leave after their task was completed. The three days they had been given shortly after the battle had not been enough.

Tara leaned over and kissed him softly, breaking him out of his reverie. His lips moved over hers gently but it quickly became more heated as she tightened her grip on the back of his head. He eased her back down to the bed, his lips never leaving hers. Hands roamed urgently but when Tara reached for his belt he pulled away breathless. Tara pouted but her eyes danced happily.

"You naughty minx," he whispered in her ear and she shivered under his caress. "You have successfully distracted me for a couple more minutes but I have to go."

Tara groaned but got up as well. "Alright Lieutenant, back to work you go." She lightly swatted him on his perfect money maker before making her way to the shower. Kaidan smiled and gave her one last kiss before sneaking out of her room.

* * *

The med bay was empty where Tara sat on one of the beds, waiting for Dr. Chakwas to come in to remove her brace. Her arm had been sprained badly after a piece of Sovereign had tried to crush her during the Battle of the Citadel. Since then, Tara had been relieved of from the ground team while they searched for hidden geth; instead she had to command from the ship. So far combat had been very sparse; limited to only a few mercenaries they had come across during their search. The commander was still eager to get back into action and she was practically squirming when the doctor finally walked in. Her happiness faded when she saw the slightly distressed look on Dr. Chakwas's face. The doctor sat down heavily, a datapad in her hand.

"Commander, I have the results from your physical."

Tara swallowed her disappointment, assuming the doctor was unhappy because her arm was still injured. "Do I have to keep the brace on longer?"

The doctor shook her head. "No. I can take that off right now, actually." She took a hold of Tara's arm and began to unhook the fastenings. Tara was still concerned.

"What's wrong then, Doc?" She met the older woman's eyes and saw her hesitate.

"You are pregnant, Commander."

Tara's face drained of color and she sat back in shock. _Pregnant?_

"How?" She heard herself ask in a soft whisper. Dr. Chakwas chuckled softly while she pulled off the arm brace. She took her patient's arm gently, examining it for any irregularities.

"If I were to guess, I would assume it was the conventional way." Tara blushed furiously and looked away. Out the med bay window she could see Kaidan at his post, working on his endless inspections of the circuit board outside her cabin. She was beginning to suspect that he worked there on purpose to be close to her. Panic overcame her instantly. _Kaidan!_ If the Alliance found about that he was the father than they would both be cast out in disgrace. "You are almost four weeks along," Dr. Chakwas continued. Tara merely nodded, she had already suspected the night of conception. _Illos. _

"What am I going to do?" She whispered to herself unaware that the doctor had heard her.

"There are..options," She stated delicately, unsure of how the commander would react.

Tara's head shot up in surprise. She shook her head vigorously. "I won't terminate the pregnancy. I will just have to figure out something else." She glanced again at Kaidan, thinking about the reaction he would have when she told him. _ He will probably be thrilled_, she thought in amusement. Dr. Chakwas's gaze followed Tara's towards the striking Lieutenant. She sighed heavily.

"I'm sure the father will support any decision that you make." Tara looked into her eyes and saw the understanding. She knew about her and Kaidan, though Tara was not really surprised. She suspected that just about everyone knew but wisely chose not to say anything. As much as she wished it was not the case, she realized her and the attractive biotic were not as subtle as they thought. Tara looked to her mother's oldest friend for guidance. But she saw nothing except uncertainty in the doctor's gaze.

"Whatever you decide, Shepard, just let me know and I will help you as best as I can." Dr. Chakwas patted the forlorn commander on the shoulder. Tara stood up and flexed her arm, relieved to see at least something in her life was not completely messed up. She studied herself in the mirror, picturing how she would look with a baby bump. For a small moment she was actually excited about becoming a mother. Tara had long ago given up the idea of marriage and having a family when her last relationship ended after Elysium. Then she met Kaidan and her desire for a more stable life returned. He had her thinking about the future and hopefully it would be a future with him.

A blast rocked through the ship, throwing crew members to the floor. Sirens blared suddenly and Joker's voice sounded throughout the ship.

"We are under attack. I repeat, we are under attack!" The ship shuddered again and Tara grabbed hold of the doctor's arm, ushering her out of the med bay. Outside, the crew scrambled for weapons and armor. Some had fire extinguishers, attempting to put out the raging flames.

"Head to the escape pods," Tara instructed the doctor and ran to her locker. She quickly dressed and made her way through the smoke. Tara set up the emergency beacon and prepared it for launch. She heard Kaidan behind her. "Commander, will the Alliance get here in time?"

"Don't worry, they will be here." She tossed him an extinguisher and they both put out a few flames but the rest of the fire spread rapidly.

"Joker's still in the cockpit, he won't abandon ship." He turned to face her and she could see his brandy brown eyes behind his helmet. "I'm not leaving either."

"I need you to get everyone to the escape pods."

"What about you? I'm not leaving you here alone."

"Kaidan, you need to help the others. Go." He made no move to leave. She could tell he wanted to argue, to disobey her order. But Kaidan Alenko was a good soldier and he always followed orders. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"You better be right behind me," he demanded softly. Tara nodded mutely, her throat strangely seizing up, keeping her from speaking. She chose to blame it on the smoke.

"I will see you soon, Kaidan." He replied aye, aye and ran off to the pods. Tara watched him go then sent out the distress beacon. She could hear Joker still shouting at the enemy in between pleas to his beloved ship as she approached the cockpit. Joker struggled against her but she was stronger. Tara put him in the last pod but was pushed back by another explosion. Joker screamed her name. Tara hit the release button and the pod closed up, firing away from the ship. She watched the pod speed away as she lost her grip on the ship and floated away. She saw the enemy ship and gaped at the massive size of it. _That is not a geth ship_. The enemy came around for one last attack and fired again. The shot flung debris towards her and she began to panic when she realized her air supply had been severed. Her mind was fading from the lack of oxygen and she struggled to breath. The breath choked out from her and she knew she would die. Her last thought was on Kaidan. _I never got to tell him I love him. I didn't get to tell him about the baby._


	2. Chapter 2

**This will not be complete retelling of ME3. It starts off after the coup attempt and will continue on from there. Hope you enjoy, love to hear what you think. I tried to add as much of the in-game dialogue as I could.**

**Bioware owns all, if I did there would have been a better ending.**

Chapter 2: A Chat with Aria

_Approximately 3 years after the Normandy was destroyed. Eight days after the coup attempt on the Citadel. _

Tara exited the elevator onto dock 42. A batarian, who Tara assumed was Bray, stood next to stalled cab. Tara approached and the cab opened to reveal Aria T'Loak inside. Tara took a seat in the back next to the former queen of Omega.

"Aria. How dramatic," Tara greeted. The merc queen huffed.

"There are too many eyes and ears in Purgatory." The cab took off. Tara studied her hostile ally.

"I assume this about retaking Omega." Aria continued to look forward.

"This is about your war, Shepard. Since taking Omega, Cerberus has spread through the galaxy. Surely the Alliance has noticed."

"Cut to the chase. What's your plan?"

"Kick them out," Aria replied. "I have amassed a fleet of merc ships. We're going to punch through enemy lines and invade."

Tara smirked. "Sounds easy enough."

"It's not that difficult. Once we're on Omega it's a ground war. That's why I want you. I only accept the best."

"Aria, in case you didn't notice, there is a war going on with these big ass machines called Reapers. I don't have much time to spare." Aria did not respond right away. She simply opened her omni tool.

"The leader of the Cerberus occupation is General Oleg Petrovsky. He's the one who..ousted me."

"Don't know him."

"He's the Illusive Man's top military strategist and best kept secret. Think of what he could tell you about Cerberus if we capture him. Think of what information he knows about the Illusive Man. Are you not tired of him always being one step ahead of you?" Tara looked away; Aria's statement hit too close to home. Her latest battle with Cerberus had resulted in the escape of Kai Leng and the painful loss of Thane. Tara was still having nightmares about it.

"Alright, Aria. If I decide to help you I need more information. What Intel have you got on the occupation?"

Aria leaned forward. "Petrovsky's army is massive and he's got Omega locked tight. The information stops there."

"So what? Are you just going to wing it and hope for the best?" _That won't end well._

"Not at all. There are secrets on Omega only I know, secrets that will provide us a foothold."

Tara still was not sure. This was no simple mission. Aria was talking about starting a miniature war.

"When Omega is mine again, I'll give you everything. I've got ships, mercs, eezo-all yours for the big ass reaper war." Tara did not reply, still not sure if helping Aria was a wise decision.

Aria stared out the window at the passing cabs speeding by. "Look Shepard, there is another reason i'm asking you to come along." The asari opened her omni tool again, shuffling through it quickly. "My people are having difficulties handling the Adjutants."

Tara frowned slightly. "Adjutants?"

Aria nodded. "They are freaking terrors that Cerberus created by using reaper tech."

"Cerberus is making their own reapers now?" Tara asked. Upon Aria's repeated nod she replied, "Well that's just great."

Aria scanned her tool again. "The adjutants carry some sort of virus that infects their victims and turns them into more adjutants."

Tara cringed in disgust. "They sound like husks."

"Sure, except that they're bigger. And have more teeth." Aria held up her tool for Tara to see. On it was a massive creature standing over six feet high. It had claw- like- hands and multiple eyes and thick black skin. The most gruesome part was the bulbous head and tubes coming out of its chest that were glowing a luminescent blue.

"Oh," Tara said simply. "I can see why that would give you pause."

"They have been a major pain in the ass and are becoming more than a match for my men."

"I guess that's why you need me."

"Yes and no." Tara looked at her in confusion. "It's the adjutants' handler that we need to be concerned about."

"You mean Oleg?"

Aria shook her head. "Oleg lost control of them shortly after the first generation was released onto the station. My spies say that Cerberus could not stop them so they sealed the adjutants in the mining tunnels."

"Have they gotten loose again?"

"No. The Illusive Man sent some kind of biotic prodigy to deal with them. The second generation of adjutants is more advanced and the biotic has been able to control them completely. The first gen is still in the tunnels."

"So you need me to deal with the biotic?"

Aria nodded. "That's the idea. With adjutants on his side, Oleg will be near unstoppable."

"Well I'm not a biotic so I can't control the adjutants but I can deal with the biotic who is."

Aria glanced at her sideways, studying her closely. "There is one thing you should know." Tara looked at her curiously. "The biotic is a child." The commander leaned back in surprise, trying to process the information.

"How old are we talking? Twelve? Fifteen?"

Aria replied blankly, "Three." Tara stared at her hard trying to figure out if the asari was serious. She was.

"I didn't know biotic potential could surface at such a young age."

Aria shrugged, nonchalantly. "It's rare but not unheard of. Besides, this is the Illusive Man's work. You know how much he loves his biotic projects." Tara did know. She thought back to the horror stories Jack had told her about her captivity in the experimental base funded by Cerberus. Tara shivered involuntarily. She felt pity for this biotic child and whatever tortures the Illusive Man put him through.

"Shepard, I am a ruthless bitch. I accept this and exploit it." Tara did not have to be told this, it was pretty common knowledge. "It would be difficult to kill a child but I will not hesitate if that's what I have to do." Tara opened her mouth to argue but Aria stopped her. "Relax Shepard. This is why I am asking you to come along. You are too soft hearted for your own good but this kid shouldn't have to die because he under the Illusive bastard's control."

Tara smiled. "Sounds like you've gone soft, Aria." She received a glare in return.

"Don't read too much into this. I hate Cerberus and taking their prized biotic will be a pleasure." Tara shook her head, bemused.

"It might be difficult to find the child."

Aria glanced at her smugly. "My guess is that we look for the glowing boy about three feet tall." Tara rolled her eyes. "More than likely Oleg will have him. If not, my spies managed to get a picture of him; it's not a good one though." Aria held up her omni tool again. The picture was blurry but Tara could see it was a little boy with thick black hair and tan skin. She could not make out any specific features though, because he was enshrouded in an electric barrier. She could see his eyes however and she felt a hint of recognition that she could not place when she noticed that they were a familiar shade of blue. It was clear the boy knew how to use his biotics and Tara was concerned about the danger he could pose. She did not want to have to harm any innocent much less a three year old. Aria needed her help and Cerberus needed to be stopped. Tara would help the merc queen retake her home and hoped she could rescue the boy as well.

"Count me in, Aria." The asari did not smile but her eyes glowed. The cab slowed down and stopped at the spot they picked her up at. Tara stepped out and looked at Aria who remained seated.

"Bray will send you the coordinates of the fleet's location. When you are ready to go, message him." Tara nodded and turned to leave but Aria spoke again.

"I have objections to some of the company you keep, so you'll have to leave the Normandy and its crew behind."

Tara's eyes narrowed. _Yeah right._ "My crew are professionals."

"Let's just say..I want you all to myself."

"Fine," Tara ground out tightly. Aria dipped her head as the cab door closed and sped away from the dock. Tara planned to meet up with her soon. She needed to take care of a few things first.

Tara walked through the embassies towards the Spectre's office. A guard saluted her before she entered. The office was unsurprisingly empty except for the sound of gunfire coming from the firing range adjacent to the office. Tara stepped up to the comm and punched in Jack's signal. Moments later the 'psychotic biotic' appeared.

"Hey Shepard," Jack greeted excitedly. "Everything ok?"

"Everything is fine, Jack. I just had a question for you if you can spare a moment."

Jack's image flickered slightly. "Shoot."

"When Cerberus retreated from Grissom academy I know they got away with a few students." Jack's face clouded with pain and Tara felt horrible for bringing it up. The attack on Grissom Academy had happened almost a month ago but Jack was still reeling from the loss of those students she couldn't save. Tara almost dropped the subject but she needed more information on the biotic boy on Omega.

"Where any of those students young children?"

"How young?"

"About three."

Jack whistled under her breath but shook her head. "No. The youngest biotic we had here was ten but she went home before Cerberus attacked."

Tara's eyebrows furrowed in thought. She had been hoping the boy had a family that he had been taken from and not raised in the Illusive Man's care. Unfortunately that was not turning out to be the case.

"Why?" Jack asked, curious about the seemingly random question. Tara told her about the biotic boy that could control reaper creatures and Jack was naturally appalled.

"Shepard you have to get that kid out of there. Do you remember what they did to me?"

Tara nodded. "I know, Jack."

"But imagine if I hadn't escaped. What if Cerberus had managed to turn me into the super biotic they wanted?" Tara shuddered to think of the damage and death Jack could have caused under Cerberus's control.

"The boy could become unstoppable if left with the Illusive Man."

"I agree, Jack. I will do everything I can to get him out alive."

"Good." Jack leaned in closer. Tara could see the fire burning in her eyes. "No one deserves to go through my hell."

After a few more minutes of conversation Tara said goodbye and shut off the comm. Her omni tool beeped alerting her of an incoming message. Miranda had finally sent her the Citadel coordinates for where they could meet safely. Tara followed the coordinates to the Presidium, her concern for her former XO grew steadily. The last time they had spoken, Miranda had still been on the run for her life and was afraid to come near council space. For her to come here now meant she was truly desperate. Tara walked past several C-Sec officers and repair workers attending to the damage caused by Cerberus troops. She rounded the corner to the apartments and slipped in the one Miranda had mentioned.

The former Cerberus officer stood in the corner of the room, glancing out the window anxiously. Tara had never seen her so worried. Even the suicide mission to the Collector base had not broken her steely resolve.

Miranda saw her approach. "Shepard, I need your help."

"What's going on, Miranda?" Tara walked over to her friend, concern written on her features.

The other woman turned away, stepping closer to the window. "I can't tell you. But I am getting close to finding my father. I do know that he is researching something for the Illusive Man."

"That can't be good."

"No. And I still haven't found Oriana." Tara stepped closer to her and put a sympathetic hand on Miranda's shoulder. "If he has done something to her I will destroy him, Shepard."

"What can I do to help?" Miranda looked at her gratefully.

"I need access to Alliance resources. I have used all of my contacts and I have nowhere else to turn."

"Miranda, you know you can trust me with more than just resources."

The ex-officer raised her hand. "I wish I could tell you more but the less you know the safer you are. I'm sorry to bring this to you now. You have enough on your plate with saving the galaxy."

"I will help however I can." Tara smiled encouragingly and Miranda returned it.

"Thank you, Shepard. You have been a better friend than I deserve. But I have to go before anyone discovers that I am here." Tara watched her head towards the door before remembering her recent talk with Aria.

"Miranda, before you go." The older woman turned back around. Tara pulled up the picture of the biotic boy. "I know you are not with Cerberus anymore but I wanted to know if you had any information on this boy. He is supposedly another of the Illusive Man's biotic projects." Tara held up the picture for her to see. Miranda studied it for a moment before her eyes widened in surprise or maybe shock and she gasped, "Oh my God!"

"What is it?" Tara demanded gently. Miranda shook her head mutely, still looking at the boy. "Miranda, do you know anything?" She finally looked at Tara in despair.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard," she whispered.

"For what?"

Miranda pointed to the boy with the blue eyes. "This boy...is your son."

**Dunh dunh dunh…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright time to find out what is going on. Thanks to everyone for their reviews, it really made my day :)**

**As always I own nothing, it's all Bioware.**

Chapter 3: Revelation

The Presidium was bustling with activity. People moved from shop to shop buying up the latest gadgets and generally ignoring the debris around them. The Citadel had always been a safe haven and even after the attack people still wanted to act as if nothing had happened. That was what Kaidan had once referred to as "human nature," not wanting to believe that anything was wrong. Inside the vacant apartment Tara was wishing she could feel the same way.

The commander was sitting on the bed, staring blankly out the window. Her mind still unable to process the information that Miranda had just told her.

"My son?" Tara whispered. The former cerberus officer turned to Tara and nodded slowly.

"Yes, he is."

Tara shook her head in disbelief. "How is that possible? I thought the baby died with me?"

"Your suit ruptured when you were hit by the explosion," Miranda explained. "Once you hit the atmosphere your body froze almost instantly. This ended up helping us significantly because it preserved almost all of your organs in a cryogenic stasis, of sorts." Miranda walked over to the bed and sat down next Shepard. "The embryo's development was ..stalled. A few days later we detected a heartbeat."

"What happened then?"

"The scientists and I were concerned that if we terminated the pregnancy your body would react negatively. The Illusive Man also forbid us to remove it until the baby had fully developed. I performed a caesarean section at nine months and the child was turned over to the Illusive Man."

Tara shot up, fury written on her face. "You gave _my son_ to the Illusive Man!" Miranda stood up as well, attempting to console her friend. She placed a hand on Tara's shoulder but the commander shrugged it off coldly.

"Shepard, I am sorry. But I had no choice."

Tara spun around angrily, "Bullshit!"

"What was I supposed to do, Shepard? He was my boss and you've seen what happens to people who cross him. I'm still trying to get away." Tara was pacing rapidly, something she did when she was trying to control her temper. Miranda took an involuntary step back when the commander finally turned back to look at her. She had never seen the great hero so enraged.

"All this time..why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was barely above a harsh whisper.

Miranda could not meet her friend's eyes. "I am sorry, Shepard. After we gave him over to the Illusive Man I was ordered not to tell you. When we left Cerberus I had no idea where he was and I didn't want to upset you until I had more information to give you. Then you got arrested for destroying the relay and I had to go into hiding. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I hope one day you can forgive me."

Tara said nothing. She gave one last glare towards Miranda before storming out of the apartment, not looking back.

* * *

"Are you out of your mind?" There was a chorus of agreements from the rest of the crew. They all stood in what had once been Mordin's lab but had been converted to a conference room during the Alliance retrofits. The ground team was present, Liara, Garrus, James, and Kaidan. EDI and Joker were connected through the view screen at the front of the table. The crew had not reacted well to her alliance with Aria. They were even more displeased with Aria's desire to have Shepard "all to herself."

"Contrary to popular belief, I am not crazy, Garrus." Tara crossed her arms, stubbornly.

Joker decided to butt in. "Haven't you been on enough suicide missions for one lifetime? Or is it a new kind of fetish?" Tara ignored him and the her other crewmates and focused on the one member who had not said a word. Kaidan had been staring out the window since she had announced her new mission. She had not told him about _their _son yet, she had been too afraid of his reaction. He had finally gotten over his mistrust of her and her past with Cerberus. Now he would probably never speak to her again once she told him what Cerberus had done to his biotic child.

"The Alliance needs some help dealing with the fuel reactors that have gone offline. You all can handle that and Omega will be back under Aria's domain by the time you get back."

"Shepard, my spies have been monitoring Omega for months. It is believed that a quarter of Cerberus's forces are stationed there. It is too dangerous for you to be going alone with nothing but _mercenaries_ for back up." Liara spat vehemently at the mention of their new allies.

"Liara is right, Commander." James crossed his arms as well, trying to maintain eye contact with his fierce superior. "Aria looks out for no one but herself."

Tara growled under her breath. "I am not going to risk the Normandy in all out battle with Cerberus. Aria's ships can handle it. We need this ship for fighting the Reapers."

"We need Commander Shepard for fighting the Reapers too." All heads turned towards the Major. Kaidan stepped up to the table, staring directly opposite of Shepard. "If Aria wants your help then she needs to play by our rules. You are not going without backup, Commander. That is an order."

Jaws dropped all around, including Tara's. She had realized that he outranked her, but it had never occurred to her that he would use it against her. She recovered quickly and her blue eyes narrowed in anger. "You are not the commanding officer on this ship, Major. I am and I make the decisions."

"I have the authority to take command if I feel that your decisions will negatively affect the mission or the crew. You going alone to Omega would do both." Nobody spoke, all eyes turned to Shepard, waiting for her next move.

"I need to speak with the Major. Privately." The crew filed out immediately, almost knocking each other down in a rush to get away. Joker made no move to disconnect. "That includes you too, Lieutenant."

"Aww man, I wanted to see who was going to win. My bets on Alenko, look at the size of his arms-" EDI shut off the feed.

Tara directed her furious glare at Kaidan who returned it evenly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"My job," he replied coldly.

"So am I! We need Cerberus gone from that system."

Kaidan nodded. "I completely agree but that doesn't mean you have to go in alone. Aria should have known better than to even suggest it. You are going with a team or you are not going at all, end of discussion."

"You are so damn frustrating, Kaidan."

"Me?" He choked out, his brandy brown eyes ablaze in irritation. "What about you? You are always running off half-cocked trying to save everyone by yourself. You refuse to ask for help and are running yourself dry." Kaidan walked around the table to stand directly in front of her. He tilted her head up gently, forcing her to look at him. "Tara you can't win this war alone. Please let us help you. Let me help you."

Tara looked down, fighting the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I have to go to Omega, Kaidan."

"No you don't." He released her. Leaving her side to stand by the window again. He ran his roughened hands across his face. Tara noticed that the appearance of grey at his temples had become more apparent. She found it an incredibly attractive feature. "We will find another way to stop Cerberus in that system."

"No, Kaidan, I don't have time to wait that long. I need to go now!"

"Why? Why does it have to be now? Why are you so willing to risk your life to help her?"

Tara swallowed roughly, trying to push the sudden feeling of nausea that rose in her throat. _I have to tell him. _She saw the anger and frustration in his features but beneath it was fear. He was worried about her. He needed to know the truth even if he hated her for the rest of her life, he deserved to know.

"Our son is on Omega."

His brow furrowed and he looked confused. Surely he had not heard her right.

"Our what?"

Tara repeated softly, "Our son." Kaidan stood there dumbly, unable to believe what she said.

"How is that possible?"

Tara told him of the pregnancy she thought she had lost and how Cerberus had rescued her and the baby and had given the boy to the Illusive Man after he was born. She explained how she had found about him and how much danger he was in because of his strong biotics. The more she said, the angrier Kaidan looked. He was back to staring out the window. His face had drained of color and he held onto the railing with a white knuckle grip.

"I have to find him, Kaidan. If that means playing by Aria's rules then so be it. The Illusive Man took my son from me and I _will_ get him back!"

He said nothing, and he didn't look at her. Tara felt the dread flow through her. She was right, he hated her. She had finally gotten him back. He had apologized and sworn he would support her, he had even been flirting with her again. They were finally getting another chance and then Cerberus had to ruin it again. Tara lowered her head, eyes closed in the sudden anguish flooding her. _I can't believe I've lost him again._

Strong arms wrapped around her. Kaidan twisted her so her face was pressed up his muscular chest. "I am so sorry, Tara," he murmured into her shoulder length brown hair. As he stroked her hair she felt the buildup of pain and despair let loose and tears streamed down her cheeks. She finally released all the emotion that she had been holding in since finding about the pregnancy and then losing it moments later.

Tara pulled back, wiping away the traitorous wetness on her face. "You don't hate me?" Kaidan shook his head and smiled softly. He wiped away one loose tear with his thumb and Tara melted at the touch.

"Of course I don't. I can't even imagine how you've dealt with this for over three years. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when I should have been. Please forgive me?"

She smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I still don't like it but if this is the only way.."

"It is, Kaidan. We have to get him back."

"You will, just let me know what I can do to help." Tara smiled again, her heart leapt to her throat. He continued to hold her for a while before EDI chimed in to let her know that Aria had received her message and was ready to leave whenever Shepard was. Tara said goodbye to her crew and took a shuttle with Bray to meet with the mercenary fleet. two hours later Commander Shepard stood beside Aria as their ship raced towards the mass relay. Aria stared smugly at the stars, awaiting the upcoming battle. Shepard thoughts were only on her son. _I'm coming for you._

**OK so I am not a doctor, so sorry if my explanation doesn't give much detail. Your reviews are appreciated. Hope you enjoy :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Spoiler Alert! This will contain spoilers from the Omega DLC. Though I have changed some of the conversations and events for obvious reasons. It was a good dlc, i just wish they had put it in the game instead of charging us for it..oh well. Alright here is the first part of Omega, reviews are appreciated :)**

**Bioware owns all.**

Miracle Chapter 4:

Omega part 1

The mass relay was quickly approaching as the commandeered Cerberus cruiser sailed towards it. Shepard glanced at Aria.

"Let me guess: you are using this cruiser to infiltrate the Cerberus fleet?"

"Exactly. We position ourselves to strike a crippling blow, then my forces join the fun." Shepard scowled at Aria's nonchalance. She was a great mercenary but lacked the necessary skills for proper tactics planning.

"A lot could go wrong," Shepard pointed out gently. Aria did not seem concerned in the slightest.

"The assaults been planned for weeks, Shepard. For now, just sit back and let me steer." Shepard frowned but followed Aria to the pilot's chair. Bray was already preparing the ship for the mass relay jump.

"Not the best start to our partnership, Aria. You wanted me here so let me help. I actually have experience planning battles. And i'm not talking about the petty disagreements you deal with between the merc gangs. We don't need to start this off badly."

Aria turned around briefly. "Oh Shepard, how things begin isn't as important as how they end." Aria walked behind Bray, surveying the scene outside the window. "Bray, move through the relay. Signal the fleet to wait. They only follow on my command." Shepard shook her head in irritation. If it wasn't for her son, Tara would have never agreed to help the merc queen. But finding the boy was a priority. It was the only reason Kaidan let her go at all. Tara smiled at that thought. Her shy and reserved lieutenant was gone and in his place was a capable and determined leader. She found the new Kaidan irresistible and she was hoping that once she had rescued their son then the two of them could try and work things out. She missed him as a lover but more than that she missed him as a companion. He had been her best friend and the year she had to spend without him had been torture. Though it was probably nothing to the three years he had spent alone.

The commandeered cruiser flew out of the relay and towards the station. Cerberus hailed them asking for identification. Bray played a recording by a captured Captain Lentz who gave Cerberus the security code. The code cleared and Aria ordered Bray to get as close to the Cerberus command ship as possible. Once they reached a close enough distance, Aria ordered the attack. Their cruiser fired at the command ship dealing major damage to the Cerberus ship. Mercenary ships flooded the relay and engaged the other Cerberus fighters.

"Divert to the station," Aria ordered Bray. "Jarral can handle the fleet."

"The General is hailing us, Aria." Bray pulled up the feed on the galaxy map.

The Cerberus general stood arms crossed, amusement radiating off him. He was not taking their attack seriously.

"Aria," he greeted with a small grin. "I knew this had to be you. You'll never make it. Call it off now."

Aria did not seem fazed. "You are barking up the wrong tree, General but maybe you can convince my friend here." She stepped aside so Oleg could speak to Shepard. The General eyed her appraisingly. He did not need to be told who she was.

"Commander Shepard? I've heard great things about you."

"Sorry I can't say the same. My partner does not have much to say for you."

Oleg chuckled softly. "She's not used to being defeated-it clouds her judgment." _That was dead on. _"It is a pity you left Cerberus. We all sabotage ourselves in nefarious ways. Perhaps deep down you fear success." _Yeah, I don't think so. _

Oleg glanced back at Aria. "I see you outfitted the cruiser with Silaris armoring. That was an exorbitant waste. I've made improvements to the stations defenses. My new canons will rip you apart."

Shepard turned her back to Oleg and whispered to Aria, "He sounds pretty confident." She nodded in agreement.

"One last chance, Aria. Turn back now."

"Bring it on, Oleg. End transmission." Aria turned back to Bray. "Set the course, we are ramming the station." Shepard did a double take.

"We are what?!"

"Those kinetic barriers will keep my ships from landing. We need to take them out." Aria smirked at the look on Shepard's face. "Don't worry, Shepard. We will probably survive the crash." The ship set on its path, flew straight on a collision course with the station. Blasts rocked the ships and alarms blared in warning. Within moments the ship was near destruction before they even reached the station. _I cannot die again. Kaidan will kill me._

"Aria, don't be stupid! We need to get to the escape pods." Aria pounded the map in frustration but sounded the evac and the crew made a mad rush to the escape pods. Shepard hopped in one with Aria and a few other crew members. The pod launched shooting them towards the station. They were all jostled when the pod crashed but no one was harmed. Shepard was the first one out, Cerberus troops surrounded them but she was a quick shot. Aria came out behind her, dispatching more soldiers. The others in the pod were killed one by one, leaving only Aria and Shepard.

"What's the plan now?" Shepard shouted from behind cover. Aria shot an approaching engineer in the chest.

"We have to take out the Defense System Station so my ships can land. The sooner the better. Those guns are ripping my fleet apart." After a few more shots, the last of the troops dropped. Aria kicked one over on its back, staring at him in disgust. "This is why I brought you, Shepard. For ground assault. In combat what you say goes."

Shepard stepped back in mock surprise. "Aria relinquishing command?" She could not resist teasing the cold asari. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Look I know where to go and you are the one who can get us there. Stop wasting time."

Shepard smiled. "Alright, let's move."

They fought through several squads of troops on the way to the defense station. Bray had contacted them informing them that only six pods had survived. Aria ordered him to rally the survivors and meet at the rendezvous hangar to prep the ships for landing. Shepard tossed a grenade at the turret blocking the gun controls. The explosion destroyed the turret and the engineer near it. "Take out that sniper!" She ordered to Aria. The older woman flared out throwing the sniper and the last remaining troops into the far wall. After Shepard shut down the defenses, Aria ordered her ships to land. She contacted Bray to let him know of the ships arrival.

"What exactly is the rendezvous point?"

"It's a bunker I established on D-deck for my more..sensitive operations. It's utterly impenetrable with its own hangar and dock."

In the corner of her eye, Shepard saw a security camera rotate towards them. She pulled out her Eagle pistol and shot it once. "It's a good chance the General knows where we are going."

"Great, then there is no time for sightseeing. Bray, prepare for visitors."

Aria led them to the hallway that would take them to D-deck. Once out of the hangars Aria pointed to a large orange barrier in the distance. Shepard pointed out that it seemed to be some kind of force field. In the elevator they see several symbols of a dark red F with a circle around it.

"It looks like a gang tag," Shepard said pointing to the graffiti.

"It's the Talon's mark. They've deface my property too."

"It could be evidence of a resistance. They might come in handy." The elevator stopped, letting them off onto a dark hallway. Aria walked up to a wall and fiddled with her omni tool.

"What are you doing?" Aria moved her tool over the wall and a panel slid away revealing a hidden ladder.

"Letting you in on a little secret. Go down the ladder." Shepard gave her a skeptical look but slid down carefully. It reminded her of a sewer system. They walked for a moment before a female voice echoed off the walls.

"Spirits! Look who's alive. It's Aria T'Loak." Out of the shadows came a female turian in a dark cloak. Aria lowered her pistol and Shepard followed suit.

"Nyreen? What are you doing down here?" The turian stretched her limbs.

"Playing cat and mouse mostly. But staying alive thanks to these tunnels."

"My tunnels," Aria pointed out. Her features softened slightly. "I'm glad I showed them to you." Tara thought she heard a hint of affection in the merc queen's tone. Nyreen smiled slightly.

"If you hadn't i'd be dead or locked up by now."

Tara stepped forward. "Aria doesn't trust easily, you must be a good friend."

"I don't know about that. Are we friends Aria?" The asari chose not to answer the question.

"Commander Shepard, this is Nyreen Kandros, ex turian military." Shepard shook Nyreen's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Commander." Aria gestured to the way out.

"Follow us out, we will get you to safety. Just pay attention."

Nyreen held up her pistol. "I'll do my best."

The three women made their way towards Aria's bunker. After dealing with a few dozen more troops the bunker's cannons were brought back online and they were safe inside.

"Aria, I know this place is built like a fortress but is it safe now that the General knows where we are?" Nyreen gestured to the front blast doors guarded by only a few of Aria's men.

Shepard agreed. "I feel like a sitting duck." Aria walked off, towards the command center.

"Relax Ladies. I have no intentions of sitting around." Aria spun around suddenly, only a foot away from the turian. "Nyreen you left fairly angry with me. What are you still doing here?"

"With all the suffering that Cerberus brought I couldn't just leave. All things considered, I kind of wish I had." She looked around at their current location.

Aria smirked. "You always said i'd be the death of you."

"We could use her help," Shepard pointed out.

"Nyreen always had a problem with the "moral bankruptcy" of Omega but if she wants to help, fine." She looked back at Nyreen. "Go see my duty officer." Nyreen inclined her head and left. To Bray, Aria whispered, "Keep an eye on her."

"What's the next step?" Shepard asked, following Aria to the command center.

"I need to get a count of how many survived before I can plan our next attack." Shepard studied the holographic map of Omega for a moment before Aria called her over.

"Shepard you need to see this." A salarian tech named Ahz pulled up a vid screen. It showed General Oleg Petrovsky flanked by troops. He was followed closely by what appeared to be a couple of scientists and..a dark haired boy flaring in dark energy. A pair of very large adjutants followed the boy as they went into Afterlife. The boy gave one last look behind him and Tara could see the agitation and fear in his glance. He was clearly miserable and it broke Tara's heart to see him that way. _I'm coming for you. _

"We need to get to Afterlife," Shepard pointed out.

Aria was reading over a datapad Ahz had handed her. "The barriers we saw on the way in are keeping us from getting there."

"Then are first priority should be to destroy the power source to those fields."

"Not yet. Our losses were significant, Shepard. We can't field an army to take down Cerberus."

Tara pushed down the frustration that threatened to bubble to the surface. The longer it took them to prepare an attack the harder it would be to get to her son. She was afraid that Cerberus would discover that she knew about him and have the boy sent away for good. Once he left Omega it was unlikely that she would ever be able to find him again.

"Well it looks like we need some allies. Would have been nice to have my team here to help us," Shepard said pointedly. Aria rolled her eyes and pointed to the screen.

"We have confirmation that one of the gangs survived: the Talons. Not my first choice, but they are all we've got." Bray appeared at Aria's side, reporting that Nyreen had slipped out when he wasn't looking. "Damn it, Bray! She knows all the access routes. If we weren't short on manpower.."

"We need to recruit the Talons first. Then we can worry about Nyreen."

"Alright Shepard, let's go."

* * *

Aria and Shepard fought through to the Talons base. Ahz alerted them to Cerberus's movement indicating a high priority target was in the area.

Shepard pointed to the tower in the proximity. "Looks like the Talon leader is close by."

"Just have to get past a few dozen Cerberus troops first." They arrived at the tower to find a talon member surrounded by soldiers. The Cerberus commander noticed them and all the troops aimed their weapons at the pair.

"Backup!" He shouted.

"I don't think so," Shepard snarled. "Let him go." A figure in black dropped from the rafters, shooting the Cerberus commander and using a biotic push to dispatch of the others. Nyreen helped the stunned Talon off the floor.

"Tend to the wounded," she instructed him. "And gather what supplies you can, we need to move ASAP."

"Looks like we found the Talon leader," Shepard said to Aria.

"My, my Nyreen, you are full of surprises. I wasn't aware you had taken over the Talons."

"The Talons were a mess after their last leader was killed by Oleg. I couldn't leave them without help." An explosion shook the building. Nyreen typed rapidly at a nearby terminal.

"Aria, Commander Shepard: whatever you came here for the answer is no. Kindly escort yourselves off Talon territory."

"We are here to help, Nyreen. We will talk after we reach your outpost." Nyreen looked surprised. She glanced at Aria.

"That is a generous offer. Aria does the Commander speak for you as well?" Aria crossed her arms in irritation.

"I wouldn't put it that way but yes."

"Well then, follow me ladies."

* * *

The three women took the elevator to the next level. Aria shouted, "rampart mechs coming out of the forcefield!" They dealt with the mechs quickly and stepped into the next elevator. The power shut off suddenly. Aria hit a panel and a ladder dropped from the ceiling. The ladder led down a dark corridor and to the catwalk access. Blocking their way into Nyreen's base were over a dozen troops and one Atlas. Aria sent a Lash to the troops sending them out the twentieth story window. Shepard pulled out her beloved hornet and aimed at the glass enclosure of the Atlas. Within a few well-timed shots she had broken through the glass and killed the troop inside. Once Cerberus was dealt with the doors were opened letting them into the Talon base. A member approached them.

"Boss, the group of civilians we rescued arrived safely at the other outpost." Nyreen patted him on the shoulder. "Good job, Tilek."

"We've got one other problem, Boss." The group kept walking towards the Talon command center. Tilek handed Nyreen a datapad. "The adjutants have been released from containment."

Aria broke in. "They actually released them onto the station? I thought they couldn't control them once they were out of the biotic's range?" Nyreen shook her head.

"It says here that the ones they let loose were the first generations. The biotic still has control of the second gens. We need to stop them before they infect the entire station."

"You've dealt with them before?" Shepard asked the Talon leader. She looked away, pain reflecting in her eyes.

"I've seen friends get turned into monsters right in front of me. They are a walking nightmare."

"Keeping your people alive through the adjutants attack couldn't have been easy."

"If it wasn't for the biotic the situation would have become much worse."

"Don't worry, Nyreen," Aria interjected. "Shepard is here to deal with the biotic." Tara had not told Aria about her son and she had no intentions of ever telling her. She didn't trust Aria as far as she could throw her. Nyreen studied the merc queen.

"Deal with? The biotic is just a child under Cerberus manipulation. You can't just kill him." Shepard rushed to assure Nyreen.

"Trust me, I will not let the boy come to any harm." Nyreen inclined her head to the Commander.

"Thank you, Shepard. Enough innocents have died already. Now if you'll excuse me I have a base to evacuate." Nyreen walked off leaving Shepard and Aria alone. Shepard glanced at her partner.

"What do you want to do now?"

Aria shrugged. "Follow her. We still need her help." It took some heavy convincing and thankfully Aria let Shepard do most of the talking but Nyreen finally agreed to help them on the condition that she maintain control of her troops. This was despite Aria's fiery speech rallying the civilians and suggesting they attack their Cerberus captives. Nyreen was not happy about involving innocents but she agreed to help to insure someone looked out for the civilians. They reconvened at Aria's bunker.

"Now that we have the Talons we can rally the civilians to strike against Cerberus," Aria declared to Shepard while they were alone. "Cerberus will have a million fires to put out while we go after Oleg."

"You really should put a little more faith and trust in your allies."

"I'm not a big fan of friendship and goodwill, Shepard."

"Well maybe you should be." Aria rolled her eyes

"Fine. I will take it into consideration. If you need me, i'll be at the map plotting our next move." Tara watched Aria walk away and she sat down on the nearest cot. She had received a message from Kaidan:

**Shepard,**

**The fuel reactors are safe from Reaper forces and Hackett is sending a team to ensure that they stay that way. I hope the attack on Omega is going well. If you need any help just call and we will be there ASAP. I'm sure you can handle it though. Cerberus is probably shaking in their boots at the thought of fighting you. Let me know if there has been any progress on finding the project you mentioned. I wish I was there to help.**

**Stay safe Tara,**

**Major Alenko**

Tara felt her heart flutter as she read his words. They were a consolation she desperately needed. She would give anything to have her team here instead of Aria and her mercenaries. She knew what Kaidan had meant by project. He did not want to mention their son over the extranet incase Cerberus could hack her account. She messaged him back updating him on their current status. She looked back at Aria who was having an intense discussion with Bray. She hoped this attack would be over soon. She just wanted to get her son back.

**Wow, I didn't think it would be this long. I even cut out several parts. The next chapter should be up in a few days.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Spoiler Alert..again! This is the last of Omega, Shepard finally gets to meet her son. Yay! Please R&R, I've really enjoyed writing this story and your support means a lot.**

Chapter 5: Omega Part 2

Aria was staring at the holographic map when Shepard walked over to her. Ahz stood beside her pulling up specific points on the station. Comms were coming in from all over of civilians requesting assistance with Cerberus.

"Do you have a plan?" Shepard was impatient to get moving. Aria nodded.

"We have the allies but we can't get anywhere near Afterlife until those force fields are brought down."

"So how do we do that?" Ahz stepped in typing wildly at his console. He located the power source and brought it up for display.

"The General is siphoning power from one of my main reactors deep in the bowels of Omega's mines."

"Unfortunately access is cut off by the force fields." Ahz informed them.

"Of course it is," Shepard let out a resigned sigh. "Is there a way around?" Aria studied the map, pointing to a dark level not far from the reactor.

"This is a processing plant for one of the mines. It's been powered down, no force fields."

"Sounds good. We can infiltrate there, find our way through the mine and take that elevator to the reactor's back door."

"Good eye, Shepard. Let's grab Nyreen and go."

They met Nyreen by the east exit and headed out. Aria activated the elevator that led down into the mines. The door opened and the women were greeted by complete darkness. Shepard turned on her flashlight. They cautiously stepped out the elevator and proceeded into the darkness.

"Access to the reactor is through here, Aria?" Nyreen glanced around uncertainty.

Aria shrugged indifferently. "According to the schematics, yes. I ran Omega, Nyreen. I didn't work the mines myself."

"No you had indentured servants for that-" Shepard pulled Nyreen back roughly.

"Look!" Shepard pointed to a group of lifeless Cerberus soldiers clumped together. Dried blood had pooled around them and several limbs were scattered in various directions. "They've been ripped to shreds." Aria stood up, and adjusted her pistol.

"We need to get a move on." Shepard led the group through the processing plant with only her flashlight for guidance. There was absolute silence except for their breathing coming out in short and quick. A piercing shriek rang through the air and Nyreen bumped into Aria as she tried to back away.

"What was that?" She asked, jerking her head around to locate the sound.

"It was probably an Adjutant," Aria replied. Nyreen shuddered visibly.

"The General must have locked this place down to keep the crazed ones inside." The access elevator had to be reactivated so Aria suggested they follow the pipes to the generator. It did not take long to get the generator running. Aria surveyed the damage in irritation.

"When this is over there will be a lot of repairs to make."

"I hope you will focus on the civilian areas first," Nyreen said pointedly. Aria growled in frustration.

"You are relentless-" The glass from the nearest window shattered into fragmented pieces across the floor as a hideous blue creature burst through.

"It's an Adjutant!" Aria shouted, just ducking before the monster shot an energy blast at her head. Shepard pulled out her pistol and began to unload on the adjutant. But its skin was too thick for smaller bullets to do any damage. She grabbed her beloved hornet and shot the adjutant once between its three eyes. The creature slumped to the ground dead. Aria slapped Nyreen hard on her arm.

"You didn't fire once!" She shouted at her angrily. "What is wrong with you, Nyreen?" Shepard looked at the turian with sympathy. She knew that the other woman had been disgusted by the reaper creatures but she did not realize how deeply her emotions ran. Nyreen wiped her face and shook her head.

"I hate those things," she whispered.

Aria was still pissed. "Hate should make you deadlier. That looked like fear to me." Nyreen did not respond, instead she headed back to the elevator. Shepard followed closely and Aria took up the rear. They were attacked by several more adjutants but between Shepard's machine gun and Aria and Nyreen's biotics the monsters were eradicated quickly. The last one had fired close enough to Shepard's head that it momentarily blinded her with a crackling warp. Luckily, Aria shot it before it could attack her. Once the remaining adjutants had been taken care of they took the elevator to the next level. Off in the distance Shepard could see the reactor. They raced towards it, dealing with only a little resistance from Cerberus troops. Aria directed Shepard to the console on the far side of the reactor.

"We need to shut it down." Suddenly a force field shot up surrounding them in a small circle. They were trapped. A small drone floated towards the group. The general appeared before them.

"I commend you, Aria. Your plan of attack was impeccable."

Shepard glanced at Aria. "Looks like we were expected." Nyreen glared at Petrovsky.

"More like 'lured'." The General dipped his head in acknowledgement.

"I knew the reactor would be the hard target. I gave you no choice but this route." Shepard decided to feed his ego by keeping him talking. She needed more time to find a way out.

"It's too bad you are on the Illusive Man's side, Petrovsky."

"I am on humanity's side, Commander. You're the ones trying to start a war- for the glory of Aria. But now it is over."

"It is not over!" Aria hissed. "Not until your next of kin can't identify your remains!" Petrovsky walked around Shepard, glancing between her and Aria. Nyreen was off to the side, checking the consoles for any way to shut down the fields.

"I love your bravado but have the sense to know when you are beaten. You have been neutralized, and I can leave you there to rot. You may as well give up."

"Not gonna happen!" Aria stalked off towards the field, examining it closely.

Shepard grew concerned. "Aria, what are you doing?"

"I'm not going out like this!" Nyreen rushed to stop her.

"Aria, don't." The asari reached into the field with her biotics and began to pull on it. A tiny hole continued to grow larger as she used more and more dark energy to push it apart. The General panicked.

"What the hell is she trying to do?" _Good question. _Aria did not respond. "Damn it, Aria, you're forcing my hand. We'll do it your way then." His hologram shut off and the drone sped away. Rampart mechs began to flood in. Shepard and Nyreen focused on protecting Aria from the mechs while she continued to expand the hole through the force field. The mechs had slowed when Aria shouted'

"Shepard, I can't hold it much longer! Go!" Shepard leapt through and Aria released the field. It sealed up behind her, leaving the other two still trapped within. "You have to shut that reactor down. Hurry!"

More mechs poured through the field. _Shit. _ Shepard saw the office with the command console up two flights of stairs. She sprinted towards it, half a dozen troops were close on her heels. Her shields began to flicker and she jumped behind cover right after tossing a grenade at the troops and mechs. An explosion shook the staircase but no other sound was heard so Shepard peeked around the corner and saw that it was safe to proceed. She sealed the office behind her and approached the console. Lights were blinking and she could hear Aria cursing out her most recent target. A glowing orb appeared in front of her. _Are you kidding me?_

"You can't do this, Commander." The General's calm demeanor was starting to crack. "There is more at stake than you know. That reactor powers life support systems for dozens of wards across the station. Shut it down and dozens of people will perish."

Shepard looked up at the General and saw that he was telling the truth. "Aria, are you getting this?"

Static sounded in her ear then, "Yes. And I don't care. Shut the reactor down."

That pissed Shepard off. "Aria, thousands of people are going to die."

"We are going to die, if you don't shut it down," Aria hissed. Nyreen's voice came over the comm.

"Shepard, don't. Try rerouting the power away from the force fields." The shutdown button beckoned invitingly. Her hand hovered over it but her mind went to the people who would die, suffocating the way she had when she died.

"Damn it. Hold tight down there." Petrovsky studied her curiously.

"Re-routing the power to maintain the other systems..." He was pacing around Shepard and the console, watching her every move. Aria sputtered furiously over the comm.

"Are you crazy? We are almost spent. Nyreen, watch your flank!" Shots were echoing in her ear. The button continued to blink, catching her eye again. Petrovsky stopped behind Shepard, leaning in to whisper,

"This is who you are working for, Commander. She doesn't care who gets hurt." He walked to her side. "She'd throw thousands of lives away.."

"Shepard, Nyreen is down. I'm trying to stabilize her. You can't reroute power in time. Hit the overload, now!" The shouting in her ear was rubbing on her already raw nerves. The rerouting was taking too much time. She didn't want to admit it but it would be easier to just hit the button. She reached over but did not press it. Who would die if she hit it? Who would lose a family member because of her choice?

"This shouldn't be that hard. Something is holding you back." Petrovsky was now standing in front of her. His holographic form simmered._ What if my son was down there? Could I knowingly kill him just to save other people? _The innocents in the wards were depending on her too. "Maybe deep down, you are starting to think the galaxy is better off without her." Shepard glanced at Petrovsky again. "She is never going to learn. She will never change. Even if you win, Omega loses..." Shepard glared.

"You don't know that." She returned back to the reroute, it was almost complete. _Just a few more seconds. _The console dinged, alerting her that the reroute was complete. She sighed in relief. Looking at Petrovsky, she grinned widely, "I win." The General walked away from her to watch the reactor. Shepard did not wait for a retort; she took off to rejoin Aria and Nyreen.

The fight back to Aria's base took little time and they made it back safely. Shepard glanced over her companions to make sure they were ok.

"Are you alright?" She asked Aria. The merc queen holstered her pistol and gave Shepard a mild glare.

"Yes, despite your best efforts to kill me." Bray walked over to them.

"Aria, the civilians are attacking Cerberus troops." Aria gave him a shit-eating-grin.

"Now it's our turn."

* * *

While Nyreen and the Talons pushed forward on the attack, Aria and Shepard were diverted to the stations support columns where Cerberus engineers were setting up large explosives. Shepard was concerned with how long it took them to disable the bombs. Neither Shepard nor Aria were master techs and Shepard was growing more anxious as casualty reports were coming in every minute. They raced to join Nyreen at the Talon checkpoint. They spotted several more adjutants stalking through the streets.

"Do you think Cerberus let them out or did they escape?"

Aria shook her head. "I don't care which. Ahz, seal all the doors behind us, I don't want those things getting out." They had very little troops to deal on their way to the Goza district. The unlucky civilians littered the floors with their remains. Shepard found it increasingly disturbing to see all the innocent people slashed to pieces by the adjutants. She did not want to think that these people died by her son's hand. Aria bypassed the next door and inside was a science lab. Pods were stationed along the walls, all of them empty. A video log that had been damaged was playing in a continuous loop. Aria stepped up next to her.

"This looks like a recording of the adjutant experiments," Shepard pressed play. The first two videos showed the scientists using civilians and turning them into the adjutants. The experiments had been working with the first ones but it appeared that the people who became adjutants after being bitten were uncontrollable because they did not have the implant. They sealed them in the mines to contain the situation.

"So many people died because Cerberus wants to play God," Shepard murmured then turned to walk away but Aria pulled her back.

"Look, it's the biotic I told you about." Shepard turned back around and her heart caught in her throat at the sight. The scientists had released one of the new adjutants into an enclosed case. The creature raved and clawed at the glass, ramming its body into the walls to break free. The enclosure already had several fractures from the damage. An officer approached with a young boy in tow. He roughly shoved the boy forward and spoke in a harsh tone;

"You know what to do." The child stared at him and then at the blue monster before him, he hesitated. The officer slapped him, hard. Shepard saw red and her fists clenched the console.

"Do it!" he commanded and the boy stepped closer to the tank. He stretched out a hand and his body began to shimmer in the unmistakable blue hue of biotics. The creature snarled at him and shook its head wildly for a tense moment. Then it stopped moving and made no noise. One of the scientists cautiously approached the enclosure and the adjutant did not react.

"I think it worked!" The scientist shrieked. "We just need to test it out of the glass." The troops unlocked the container and the adjutant stepped out. It slowly approached the boy and the others backed away. Her son did not move. His face was the picture of calm as the reaper came nearer. His biotics never wavered though Shepard could see him shaking slightly. The adjutant stopped only a foot away. There was absolute silence in the video and Shepard held her breath as she watched. The boy pushed slightly with his biotics and the adjutant dropped to his knees before him. The scientists applauded in enthusiasm. Even the officer approved. Only the child did not look happy, his face was an empty slate. He closed his eyes and leaned back against a console obviously exhausted. The video ended. Shepard searched frantically for another entry but that had been the last one.

"Come on, Shepard. We need to go." Aria led the way to the Talon outpost. Once they arrived, one of the members informed them that Nyreen had scouted on ahead. Enraged, Aria took after her. They sprint to Afterlife and approached carefully when they saw what Nyreen was doing. Five large, spiked adjutants surround her, inching closer and closer. Nyreen spuns, pointing her pistol at each one but the reapers paid no attention to her gun. She cannot win and fear registers in her eye at this realization. Then her faces twists in anger and determination as she pulls out a grenade and activates it. She puts a barrier around her and the reapers to contain the blast.

"Nyreen!" Aria screams, too late. Nyreen looks at them and smiles before the grenade exploded, leaving only blast marks and fire on the pavement where the adjutants and Nyreen once stood. Shepard's jaw dropped in shock. She glanced at Aria, unsure of what her ally's reaction would be. Aria panted for a moment, her face contorted in fury. Her fists crackled with biotic energy and she burst forward towards Afterlife, leaving dead troops in her wake. Shepard took after her but without biotics of her own Shepard could not keep up with her. Aria charged forward in a biotic rage, throwing anything that got in her path. She ran into the bar and they were greeted by Petrovsky. Aria cursed him and lunged forward.

"Aria, wait!" Shepard shouted to no avail.

She leapt into the air aiming for him but found herself caught in stasis containment field. She struggled vainly, her biotics were useless, and the only thing she could manage was a barrier to shield her now vulnerable position. Shepard looked up at Petrovsky who had stationed himself in Aria's former "office.'

"What now, Petrovsky?" She looked at the helpless Aria and hoped they could come to a more peaceful solution. The look on Petrovsky's face said otherwise.

"Divide and Conquer, Commander." She looked to where he was gesturing. Craning her neck around Aria's prison she saw the door from the lower level of Afterlife open. "Kandros killed the adjutants we hadn't finished experimenting on..." Out of the door came a small boy with curly black hair and piercing blue eyes. Behind him were half a dozen more adjutants. _Shit._

"These are fully under our control- the prototypes for our future army." They boy glanced up to see who Petrovsky was talking to and made eye contact with her. His eyes widened in shock and he stepped back. Shepard felt her heart thud against her chest, the look on his face surprised her. Petrovsky snatched his arm and dragged him into the office. The adjutants charged.

Shepard dived for cover behind one of the support pillars. She noticed a generator attached to it. Hoping it would help, she shot it and the generator exploded, the containment field wavered. Petrovsky looked furious.

"Keep Shepard away from the generators!" He ordered the adjutants. One peered around the corner and Shepard shot it in the face with her beloved hornet. It fell back, convulsing. She darted from around the pillar and sprinted towards the next one. She dodged most of the adjutant shots but one hit her shields and she felt panic beginning to overwhelm her. She forced it back down and took aim for the next generator. She just managed to hit it and more power was taken from the field. There were only two left.

The adjutants were becoming more and more aggressive. Shepard spared a glance at the loft above her and saw Petrovsky watching her, his face a mixture of interest and irritation. Behind him, her son watched her with avid curiosity. An adjutant swung at her and she moved him, slicing its chest with her omni tool. She had taken out the third generator and moved to the last one. There were still two adjutants left that she had not been able to shoot. She darted to the last generator, not seeing any creatures near her. Only a few feet away, she aimed her pistol but one of adjutants snuck up on her and knocked her onto the ground. She was stunned, she tried to clear her head but all had gone fuzzy. She could just make out the monsters lumbering towards her. Aria was shouting her name and warning her to move. She tried to stand but she had been flung back hard. The adjutants were almost on top of her and Shepard shot once but it just bounced off. She struggled to her feet to no avail. _I'm going to die._

The adjutants leaned in closer, snarling but they suddenly stopped and stood back up. Both took a step back, glancing around in confusion. Shepard stood up shakily and looked up at the loft. Her son was staring at her, glowing with his biotics. He gestured again and the adjutants turned around and started walking away from Shepard. Petrovsky finally realized what was happening and he smacked the boy causing him to lose control of his biotics. The adjutants turned back to her but Shepard had the upper hand. She aimed for the center of their three eyes and fired. Both dropped within seconds. Shepard shot the last stasis generator, releasing Aria.

Petrovsky surrendered immediately and with Shepard's insistence, Aria allowed him to live.

"Take him, Shepard." She kicked the general in the stomach. "I hope your Alliance can get some useful information from him. I just want this filth off my station." Bray came up to join them. He pointed to the corner of the loft.

"What are you going to do with him?" Shepard glanced in that direction and saw her son peering from around the table, a pistol in his hands. Tara walked over to him slowly, her hands stretched out invitingly.

"It's ok," she whispered softly. "I'm not going to hurt you. I want to get you to safety." The boy stared at her intently and then looked at Petrovsky. The general nodded at him.

"Go with Commander Shepard. You can trust her." Tara reached out her hand again and after a moment the boy lowered the pistol and placed his hand in hers. The action nearly brought tears to her eyes. Aria gave them both a small smile. She held out her hand to Shepard who shook it warmly.

"Thank you for your help, Shepard. Bray will take you back to the Citadel."

"Good luck, Aria." With her son in her hand, Tara followed Bray out of Afterlife and to the docks. She sent a message to Kaidan letting him know that they would be at the Citadel by the morning. She looked down at the boy and smiled. Her heart leapt for joy when he returned it.

**I hope you liked it. I've been thinking of names for Shperad's son; if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I am soooooo sorry for taking so long to update but hopefully this chapter will make up for it. **

Chapter 6: Getting Acquainted

Bray was shuttling them back to the Citadel. Aria had said her goodbyes quickly, focused solely on rebuilding her rescued empire. Tara now sat in the passenger lounge directly opposite of her son. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch, studying her intently. Tara found herself wanting to squirm under his piercing gaze; his blue eyes, an exact replica of her own, were in constant observation. She was surprised that such a young child could make her so uncomfortable. But she was more than uncomfortable, she was afraid. Doubts raced through her head, nerves were frazzled beyond end. _What do I say to him? What if he hates me? What if I suck at being a mother? _Until she had seen him, these thoughts had not even crossed her mind. She had been so focused on finding him that she had not worried about what would happen afterwards.

The boy had said nothing and she didn't know if he could even talk. He simply sat there quietly and made no movements. He reminded her of Kaidan once again. The boy had a demeanor that clearly reflected the Major's calm and disciplined manner. In fact, the only thing he seemed to inherit from her was her blue eyes and the curly style of hair. Tara grew more concerned. She feared what the Alliance would say; having a baby was a minor offense. She would most likely receive a stern reprimand from whoever was in charge now but nothing more. But if they found out that her former subordinate officer was the father there would be serious consequences. They would both be dishonorably discharged at least. There could even be jail time. Tara hoped that she would be able to hide her son from the galaxy until after the Reapers had been dealt with. She prayed that Alliance High Command would look past all offenses if she could win the war. _They better; I've sacrificed more than enough for this galaxy. _It would soon be obvious to anyone who could see that Kaidan was the father. One only had to look at the two together and see the similarity. It didn't help that Kaidan was a biotic and Tara was not.

She took a deep breath and told herself to calm down. Commander Shepard was not a fearful person. She took challenges on with a strong willed determination and unyielding belief that she would not fail. And yet this three year old child made her doubt everything about herself. She never knew that it was possible to love someone so much and fear them at the same time. Tara shook off her doubts, she had a war to win and a son to care for; she would deal with the consequences later. _If there even is a later._

The silence was deafening and Tara adjusted her seat looking for a distraction. She had to say something.

"Are you ok? Can I get you anything?" The child shook his head faintly but still did not speak. She couldn't handle the pressure of his gaze so she diverted her eyes. "Thank you for helping me with the adjutants." There was more silence for a moment. Then a soft voice spoke up.

"They were hurting you."

"Why did you help me? I was fighting Cerberus." She was not sure if he would understand the concept of battle. He was so young, it was heartbreaking to see him already biotically implanted and forced into a war he didn't ask for to kill people he didn't know.

Her son shrugged. "I don't like Cerberus. They are mean." Fear clenched at her again.

"Did they hurt you?" She whispered, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. Her son gave her a pointed look but did not reply. Of course they hurt him. Cerberus was a terrorist organization full of heartless and inhumane monsters. Harming a child was nothing new for them. "So..what's your name?"

"I don't have one."

"Cerberus didn't call you anything?"

He closed his eyes and hesitated. "They called me Blue."

Tara's eyebrows cinched together. "Because of your biotics?"

"Because of my eyes." _Oh._

"Do you want me to call you Blue?"

"Call me whatever you want," he muttered indifferently. Tara sat back in the couch and sighed. This was going to be a long trip. She still had to tell him that she was his mother and she had no idea how to start _that_ conversation. Luckily he started it for her.

"What are you going to do with me?"

"I don't know. I would like to keep you with me if possible." His face contorted in confusion.

"Why? I worked with Cerberus," his voice dropped lower. "I hurt lots of people."

"That was not your fault. You are just a child and Cerberus was controlling you."

He looked past her at the vid screen playing the recent Blasto movie. "The scientists told me I had to do it. I had to hurt the bad people who tried to hurt us." He looked at her, guilt drawn on his young features. "But I knew it was wrong." Tara was impressed with his speech. He spoke slowly but clearly and his sentences demonstrated his intelligence. But his words stabbed her deeply. Cerberus tried to brainwash her child just as they had tried to brainwash her. Her temper sparked and she saw red. Cerberus would never come near her son again.

"You only did what you were told. That was not your fault," she repeated more firmly.

"But you gave Petrovsky to the Alliance. Why not me too?"

"Because.." Tara took a deep breath and spit it out. "You are my son."

The boy did not blink. "I know that." _What?_

"What? How did you know?"

"The Illusive Man told me." Tara wasn't sure if that pissed her off or not. Why would he tell her son who she was if he had no intention of uniting them?

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me that my mother was Commander Shepard." Blue pushed his hair out of his eyes. "He said that you were too busy fighting the Reapers to take care of me so you gave me to Cerberus." Her son looked at her sadly.

"That is not true!" Anger fueled her words. "I didn't know I had a son until a week ago."

"How could you not know?" The little boy clearly did not believe her. Tara had no idea how to explain the events surrounding his birth in a way he would understand. Her son was obviously smart but he was only three. There were still adults, who did not understand her 'resurrection,' she did not think the child would comprehend it at all.

"Before you were born I was hurt very badly by the Collectors who were working for the Reapers. Cerberus rescued me but I was asleep for two years while they fixed me. You were born during that time but I was asleep so I didn't know. Cerberus took you from me and did not tell me that I had a son. But as soon as I found out I came to get you back." Blue did not reply., his gaze remained on the movie. Tara shifted in her seat anxiously. He finally looked back at her minutes later.

"Do I have a father?" She nodded, happy that he was curious about his family. That was a good sign.

"His name is Kaidan Alenko and he is a soldier on my ship the Normandy." Blue did not respond. "He is also a biotic." That perked him right up. He sat up giving her his full attention.

"Is he a powerful biotic like me?" Tara smiled at his interest and his confidence. Though there was no doubting his ability level.

"He is one of the strongest human biotics I have ever seen." Blue grinned.

"I can't wait to meet him. Do you think he will teach me some new moves?"

"I'm sure he would love to," she laughed softly. But she suddenly turned serious. "You can't tell anyone that we are your parents."

He was confused. "Why not?"

Tara ran a hand over her face. "Your father and I are not allowed to have children and if anyone found out that you are our son we could be in a lot of trouble. You would be taken away from us again."

"Would I have to go back to Cerberus?" His eyes shone in fear.

"No, you are never going back to Cerberus. But you would not be able to live with us. You might be given to a new family."

He shook his vigorously. "I don't want that."

"Then you must not tell anyone who you really are, ok?"

"Ok." Tara seemed confident for now that he would not say a word about his parentage but she would not be content until they were safe aboard the Normandy away from prying eyes and the frenzied media. Tara spent the last few hours of the flight asking questions about his time with Cerberus but he gave little information. He was interested in the war with the Reaper. She was hesitant to talk about the war with a kid his age but she was just happy he was talking to her so she told him what she could and spared any horrific details. By the end of the trip Tara was hopeful for a good relationship with her son.

* * *

Kaidan Alenko was sweating though it did not occur to him immediately. He absently wiped away the moistness on his forehead with his sleeve. Tara was scheduled to dock in ten minutes. Kaidan had been waiting for over an hour at the small port. He had spent the morning pacing around the cockpit before Joker finally kicked him out in agitation. There was no one around at the port to see his nervousness. The only time he had been this anxious was the night before Illos. He stood out outside her cabin debating on his next move before he finally decided to go in. That decision had been the best decision of his life. And that amazing night led him to the situation he was in now. His son would be here soon. _My son. _The shock had still not worn off. It had been days since Tara told him but it just did not seem real yet.

Kaidan saw the shuttle approach and he took a deep breath to steady his racing nerves. Tara stepped out first toting a duffel bag. She opened the back seat door and a small boy climbed out. Tara thanked the batarian driving and glanced around quickly spotting him. He walked over to them.

"Hi," Tara said softly. Her brown curls were pulled into a braid and a few loose bangs hung over her eyes. He itched to tuck them behind her ear but he stayed his hand. Instead he returned her easy smile with a nervous one of his own. At 5' 3 she was almost a foot shorter than he was so he had to look down to meet her gaze but that was a feature he found extremely attractive. Behind her the little boy shuffled his feet as he took in the new sights. Tara put a hand on the boy's shoulder and gestured towards Kaidan.

"This is Major Kaidan Alenko." She looked back at Kaidan. "This is..Blue..I guess." Kaidan raised an eyebrow but she just shook her head. He knelt down to the child's level.

The boy..Blue..smiled at him. "So you're my father?"

Kaidan chuckled nervously. The boy clearly inherited his directness from Tara. "Yes, I am. It's nice to finally meet you."

"You too." Kaidan wanted to talk to him more but the public space port was not a good place to get connected. The major stood back up and took the duffel bag from his former CO. He directed them to the speeder he had brought and they climbed in. Tara started to get in the driver's seat but Kaidan gently pushed her away.

Tara pouted and Kaidan found it adorable. "I want to drive."

"And I want to make it to the Normandy alive." The great Commander Shepard stuck out her tongue at him but got into the passenger seat anyways. Kaidan steered the shuttle out of the port and sped off.

"I forwarded your report to Admiral Hackett. He wasn't pleased that you went alone." He spared her a pointed look, Tara rolled her eyes. "Cerberus activities in that system have reduced drastically so he wasn't too angry. He wants to speak to you when we get to the ship."

"Did you say anything to him?" She inclined her head towards the back seat.

Kaidan shook his head. "No. I didn't think you wanted him to know." Tara lowered her voice.

"I don't, but I am not sure how long we can keep the Alliance from finding out. Eventually news from Omega is going to leak out and Cerberus didn't keep him very secret. I know people saw him. For once on my life I have no idea how to handle this." Kaidan glanced at her again and saw something he did think was possible. She was afraid. It was hard to spot; her features were perfectly blank. But it was her eyes that always gave her away. In the early days on the SR1 he had been able to read her perfectly just by looking into the blue depths. Now they reflected her anxiety, her doubts, and her fear. He reached over and took her hand without hesitating as he would have done before.

"We will figure it out. Together." Tara smiled back gratefully. She looked behind her at their son. He was facing the window but she could see his bugged-out eyes in the reflection roam over the city. She chuckled softly and looked out her own window.

Kaidan expertly navigated through the traffic that was becoming heavier. Refugee ships

poured in by the dozens every day. So many people had lost their homes to the war. There were so many who lost more than that. Kaidan's thoughts turned to his own mother, Katherine, who was alone in the country hoping her husband wasn't dead or in a Reaper camp. He hadn't told her about his son yet, but he hoped the news would give her some happiness in the desperate times. She had always wanted grandchildren.

"What am I going to tell the crew?" Tara looked at him expectantly.

"I have no idea," he replied. "I guess you could tell them he was just another Cerberus victim who has nowhere else to go." Kaidan noticed Blue was now watching them intently.

"They aren't going to buy that. We have rescued children before and we didn't keep them on the ship. Look at Jacob's group we rescued before Omega. There were a dozen children there and we didn't keep any. They are going to suspect something."

"You're probably right, but what other choice do we have? There is no safe place to send him."

Tara's nose scrunched up in thought. "We could send him to my parents. My father's fleet is with Hackett's right now."

Kaidan didn't like that idea. "If you send him to the fifth fleet then the entire galaxy will know about him within a week." Kaidan lowered his voice to a whisper. "Besides, Cerberus took him from us once. I don't want to lose him again. He's our son, he stays with us."

"And what if that's not possible, Kaidan? Why should we get to have our family with us when everyone else has to be away from theirs?"

"Because you are the one saving the galaxy. No one has sacrificed as much as you have. You deserve to have a little happiness." Kaidan eased the shuttle to a stop. "The crew doesn't need to know that he is anything more than another refugee that you took pity on."

She did not reply for a moment. Blue leaned forward, his arms resting on the back of his seat.

"I don't want you to be in trouble because of me." Kaidan thought he saw tears form in her eyes. She patted the boy's hair affectionately.

"You are staying with us no matter what." Tara smiled at Kaidan. "As for the crew..i'll figure something out."

"You always do." He picked up the bag and led the way down the corridor leading to docking bay 24. The boy walked in between them, drinking up the sights of the passing ships and the passing people. He looked up at Kaidan.

"What do I call you guys?" Tara and Kaidan exchanged glances. Kaidan looked down at his little boy.

"When other people are around you should call us Tara and Kaidan but if there is no one around you can call us whatever you want." The boy didn't respond, his attention was caught by an asari dancer that had just gotten off work. Tara quickly covered his eyes and he shut his hanging jaw. Kaidan laughed and Tara shot him a dirty look. The Major patted his son on the shoulder and asked, "What about you? Your name is really Blue?"

The boy shrugged. "It's the only name I got."

"They didn't give you a real name?"

"I don't know. They only called me Blue." Kaidan looked shocked but Tara was not surprised. Jack had told her many horror stories of her childhood with Cerberus. The Illusive Man was a heartless bastard and Tara anticipated the day she could bring him down.

"What do you want to be called?" Tara asked him.

"I don't know. You can pick." Tara thought for a moment then she turned to Kaidan.

"Any ideas?" Kaidan nodded slowly.

"What about John? After your father?"

"I was actually thinking of Matthew, after yours." She stroked her son's hair. "He is a gift that I thought I had lost and would never have again." Kaidan smiled broadly.

"I like it." He looked at their son. "What do you think of Matthew?" The boy sounded the name out, rolling the letters off his tongue.

"It's better than Blue," he replied with a small grin. The three of them approached the airlock and Tara bent down to Matthew's level.

"You remember what I told you on the flight here?"

Matthew nodded solemnly. "I won't tell anyone who I am. But can I tell them my new name?"

"Of course you can." The airlock opened and they stepped onto the ship. The door to the cockpit was open and Tara could see EDI and Joker engaged in an animated discussion. Joker heard them come in and he spun around to greet them.

"Commander, welcome back! I'm sure Aria is happy to be back on her throne ruling over the low-lifes."

"I think she is more appreciative of her position now. And if we can end this war then maybe the people on Omega will have a real chance for a better life."

"We can dream, Commander." Joker finally noticed Matthew. "Who's the kid?"

Tara brushed him off. "I will explain that soon. Notify the ground team that I want to speak to them for a mission debriefing in the CIC in fifteen minutes."

"Sure thing, Commander." Joker's gaze bounced between the boy and Tara and then the boy and Kaidan as they walked away. Liara was already in the CIC when they got there.

"Shepard, I'm glad you're back. Asari High Command has asked us to investigate the Ardat-Yakshi monastery on Lessuss. Commandos were sent in to investigate a distress signal but no one has heard from them since they landed."

"What are Ardat-Yakshi?" Kaidan asked. Tara shuddered remembering Samara's daughter Morinth.

"Ardat-Yakshi are asari with a genetic mutation that causes partner death after..mating," Liara pulled up a picture of the monastery on the screen. "They grow stronger through their partner's death."

"They leave astronomical body counts," Tara interjected. "So any problems with them could be a problem for the galaxy. Don't worry Liara I will tell Joker to fly us straight there after the debriefing is over." Liara glanced at her concerned.

"We don't have to go right away. You just got back from Omega, i'm sure the monastery can wait for twenty four hours."

"Don't worry about me, I can rest on the flight there." Kaidan opened his mouth to argue with her but the rest of the team came in.

"Welcome back, Shepard," Garrus walked over to the Commander. "How was Omega?"

"Loads of fun, Garrus, sorry you had to miss it." Joker and EDI appeared on the screen above the doorway and the rest of the team gathered around the map. Kaidan directed Matthew to sit down on the steps away from the group. So far no one had noticed him. Tara stepped up to the center of the team. She congratulated them on their success with the fuel depot and she gave them the brief overview of her mission on Omega. Liara reported that Cerberus losses were higher than before and she was putting to use the intel Shepard had been able to obtain. After Tara was finished Joker cut in.

"So..who's the kid?" Everyone looked over to where the pilot was pointing.

"There's a kid here," James supplied helpfully. Tara motioned to the boy and he walked over to her.

"This is Matthew the biotic that Cerberus was using to control the adjutants. I rescued him." Garrus, Liara and James exchanged looks. They looked at the kid and then at Tara.

"So are we taking him back to his parents?" Garrus asked. Matthew shuffled nervously on his feet and glanced at Tara nervously.

"Cerberus abducted him from his parents shortly after he was born, according to Petrovsky. He has no idea who they were or even how to find them. He has nowhere to go, so he will be staying with us for the time being." Tara called over the private guarding the door and looked down at Matthew. "This is Sarah and she will take you to the Port Observatory. You can sleep there for now. I will come check on you in a little bit." Matthew nodded and followed Sarah down the hall. Once he was gone the crew objected immediately. Tara threw up her hands to settle down the raising voices.

"When did we become a flying nursery?" Joker interrupted.

"Since I became the Commander of this vessel, Lieutenant." That shut him up. James, however, was still not pleased.

"He was raised by Cerberus, Commander. He could be a spy."

"He's three, Vega! He is not a spy, just another victim of Cerberus and he needs our help."

"You can't take any chances with Cerberus, Shepard." Garrus cut in. "Look at Udina. We all thought he was a snake but no one thought he was working for terrorists."

"What do you want me to do? There is nowhere to send him." Liara attempted to sooth Shepard's rising agitation. They all knew the Commander was capable of a furious temper when frustrated.

"Why don't we have EDI keep him under surveillance and limit him to only the crew deck until we are sure he is not a spy. In the meantime I can check into possible safe places for him." Tara kept her features perfectly stoic but Kaidan could see anger in her eyes. Liara looked at him. "What do you think, Kaidan? You haven't said a word." Kaidan pretended to be deep in thought for a moment before responding.

"I don't think the kid is a threat but keeping him under surveillance couldn't hurt." Tara finally gave her agreement and dismissed the crew. She told Joker to head for Lessus and to alert her when they arrived. Kaidan watched her leave, presumably she was going to check on Matthew. He turned to leave when he noticed Liara giving him a strange look. When he asked her what was wrong she merely smiled and shook her head, amused. He shrugged it off and followed James down to the armory to check his gear. The next mission was coming up soon and he was eager to get it over with so he could spend some time with his son.

**Please R&R I love to hear what you think. Thanks to silverhawk88 for the name.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Poker Night

"I fold." Joker threw his cards on the table. James cackled and scooped his new winnings into his already large pile. The others groaned as they neared the last of their earnings that Vega had not taken yet.

"Ready for the next round, People? I'm saving up for retirement after the war."

"Very optimistic, Vega. But I'm not out of this game yet." Garrus picked up the deck and began shuffling. Liara stretched and yawned, it was approaching midnight and it had been a long day. Tali had joined them temporarily on the Normandy while the crew was assisting her with the battle between the Quarians and the Geth. Though after the latest mission Shepard seemed less sympathetic towards the Quarians. She had gone into the Geth consensus and discovered the truth about the origins of Morning War. Legion was onboard as well but he had declined the invitation to play poker with them.

"We should get Shepard and Alenko involved." James suggested. "More players means more money for me."

"Shepard and Legion are going over some geth activity reports," Tali answered. "And Kaidan has a migraine so he's resting in the Medbay."

James organized his money into neat and large piles. "I thought she was with the kid."

"No. I think Matthew is in his room sleeping." Liara checked her newly dealt hand and scowled. Tali threw her cards down in disgust muttering a curse under her breath.

"I don't know much about human children but I like this one. He is very smart and intuitive."

Liara also put her cards on the table. "His biotics certainly are impressive for one so young." Garrus took two more cards and placed his bet. James placed his bet and called. Joker pulled up a pair of nines and Garrus had a full house. The turian whooped and reached for the winnings.

"Not so fast, Amigo!" James put down his hand with a royal flush. Groans resounded throughout the room.

"How the hell do you do that?" Joker asked. James just laughed and gathered his new winnings. His com beeped with a message from Cortez asking for help with the shuttle repair. He took his money and left for the elevator. The others pouted in silence for a few minutes as Liara picked up. Joker suddenly spoke up.

"Anyone else think that the kid looks like our resident Major?" Everyone exchanged uneasy glances. They were treading on dangerous territory and it could blow up in their faces including Shepard's.

"They certainly have been acting strangely," Tali agreed quietly. Liara jumped in, defending her friends.

"It is not respectful of us to gossip about Shepard and Kaidan."

"So you do think there is something going on with them and the kid?" Garrus asked her but she just shrugged it off noncommittally

"Whether or not there is a family relationship between them is not our concern." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Talking about this could get them into trouble if the wrong person were to hear it. Fraternization is frowned upon in the Alliance." It grew quiet as they each contemplated the situation.

"I agree with Liara," Joker said. "Whether or not Matthew is their son is none of our business. Shepard has done so much for us the least we can do is stay out of it. I don't want to see them in trouble." Shocked faces stared at him around the table.

"That is really nice, Joker." Tali studied him closely. "When did you become sensitive?"

"Yeah well, just don't go spreading it around."

* * *

Tara poured her second cup of coffee for the night and headed back to the elevator where she almost bumped into EDI.

"Sorry, EDI, I was too busy looking at these reports."

"It is no problem, Shepard. I thought you should know that the lights are still on in the port observatory room."

"Matthew is still up? It's after midnight!" Tara turned around and started walking to her son's 'room.' "Thank you for letting me know, EDI." She palmed the door opened and walked in to find her child wide awake and glued to his new omni-tool that Kaidan had given him.

"Matthew, you should be in bed." The boy did not look up from his game.

"Five more minutes, Tara." He paused for a moment and then looked up. "Please." Tara put on her sternest face.

"You can either put it away or I can take it from you. Growing boys need their sleep." Matthew hesitated. He really wanted to play his game but the look on his mother's face changed his mind. He shut his tool off and put it on the table beside the couch.

"But I'm not tired. It's boring down here. When can I leave the deck?" Tara sat down next to him and closed the shutter to the window.

"Soon, I promise. Right now we are busy with Quarians." Matthew took off his shoes one by one and Tara set them under the table.

"What was it like in the Geth brain?" He sat up against his pillow, his eyes wide in excitement.

"It was like being in a video game. There were glowing boxes that I had to follow to win." She pulled the blanket up over his waist. "I got to see when the Geth were first created."

Matthew stretched his arms and yawned. "I want to do stuff like you when I'm big."

Tara smiled proudly. "I'm sure you'll do better things than I've ever done." Matthew settled into his make-shift bed but shot up quickly as a thought crossed his mind.

"Is Kaidan ok? His head hurt him bad." Tara felt her heart drop at the name. It had only been two weeks since she rescued him from Cerberus but Tara had hoped that he would warm up to them quickly. He still referred to his parents as Tara and Kaidan even when they were alone. It surprised her how much she longed to be called mom. But she would not push him. He needed time to adjust to his new life.

"He is still resting in the Medbay but I'm sure he is fine."

"Does his head hurt a lot?"

"Not anymore. His head used to hurt him a lot, but now it only happens every once in a while."

"Why does his head hurt?" Tara sat back against the couch and casually wrapped an arm around the little boy.

"Kaidan has an older amp that hurts him sometimes." Matthew touched his amp gently.

"Will mine hurt me too?" The boy spoke in a soft whisper and Tara held him tightly.

"No sweetheart, your amp is newer and safer." He looks comforted by her words.

"I hope he is ok."

"Do you want to see him before you go to bed?" The boy shot up out of the blankets.

"Yeah!" He took off out of the room and Tara followed him out. He went up to the Medbay's door but could not reach the key pad. Tara put her hand on his shoulder.

"You have to be quiet while we are in here. His head is very sensitive to sound and light when it hurts." She opened the door and followed her boy to the bed Kaidan was resting on. Tara picked him up and set him on the side. Kaidan opened his eyes part way and saw them watching him.

"Hey Buddy, what's going on?"

"Tara said I could say goodnight to you." Kaidan turned his head towards the clock on the wall. He was shocked to see the time.

"I've been out for six hours?" He asked Tara and she nodded. He patted his son on the head. "You should have been in bed awhile ago."

"I was playing a game. It's really fun!" He scooted closer to Kaidan. "Thank you for the tool."

"You're welcome, I'm glad you like it. But don't stay up late just to play with it. You need your sleep."

"I won't stay up late no more. Are you ok?" Matthew looked concerned as he took in Kaidan's tensed features.

"I'm just fine. My headache is almost gone." The little boy smiled brightly and Kaidan squeezed his son's shoulder gently.

"I'm glad." Tara picked him up and put him back on the ground.

"Alright it's time for bed." Matthew sighed but looked up at his father.

"Night Kaidan."

"Goodnight, Son." Tara glanced at Kaidan as the little boy ran out of the room.

"If you want some company I can come back after I tuck him in." Kaidan rested a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Tara went after her son and put him back in bed. He tried to stall by asking any question he could think of but she put him off and promised she would answer his questions in the morning. He finally drifted off and Tara turned the lights off on her way out. She watched him briefly as his chest rose and fell. It was peaceful to watch him and it reminded her of why she kept fighting. She fought grueling battles day after day and when it all seemed hopeless she remembered that she was fighting for a future for her only child. She may not survive this war but she would ensure that her son had a life to look forward to with no Reapers to get in his way. Tara walked back over to the Medbay. The crew deck was empty save for a few guards stationed by the elevator. Tara crept up to the bed and tenderly touched Kaidan's hand. The Spectre winced as he tried to open his eyes but the pain was too great.

"How bad is it really?" Tara whispered. Kaidan did not respond immediately.

"It's fine. The drugs will kick in soon." He clearly did not want to worry her but Tara was worried anyways.

"They haven't started working yet? When did you take them?"

"About half an hour ago." Tara straightened in alarm.

"Kaidan, why did you wait so long?" He shrugged slightly, hoping she would not push. But this was Shepard, she always pushed.

He grunted as he tried to sit up but Tara pushed him back down tenderly. "The medication makes me dizzy and drowsy and it doesn't always go away by the morning. I want to be clear headed for the next mission."

"We have twenty-four hours on the Citadel that is plenty of time to rest." Tara adjusted his pillows for him. "Next time you get a migraine you take the drugs immediately. And that's an order." Kaidan chuckled quietly.

"I outrank you, remember?" Tara was not amused.

"Not on my ship you don't. This is your health you are messing with, Kaidan. Don't take any chances."

"Aye aye Commander." Tara smiled at his sudden change to professionalism. She hesitated but scooted closer him and touched his temple.

"Can I try that thing I used to do?"

"That would be great, thanks." He sat up long enough for her to sit on the bed and then leaned back with his head on her lap. Tara lightly grazed her fingers along his aching head and began to massage his temples. After a few moments his body visibly relaxed and he moaned low in his throat in appreciation. Tara found that she was aroused by the sound but quickly pushed those thoughts out her mind. He was in pain and her fantasizing was not going to help. She wasn't sure it mattered anymore anyways. Kaidan was amazing with Matthew and he stepped into the role of father easily. But there had been little to no change in their own relationship, or whatever it was. The more time that went by the more frustrated Tara became. Kaidan had always been the type of man that had to think things through and mull over it for a long time before he acted. Sometimes this was a valuable asset and it countered Tara's own impulsiveness. But other times it annoyed the hell out of her. Tara had noticed the change in him. He acted more and thought less than she had seen during their first mission together. He took charge and took the lead more often than not and he became even more invaluable to her both on and off the field. He truly was worthy of the title of Spectre.

But when it came to personal relationships he still held back. If he decided to move on and only wanted to be friends, Tara would understand. It would hurt but she would not fight it. She just wanted him to say one way or another. Though she knew not all the blame could be placed on him. She had not said anything either. She had tried on Horizon and had been shot down and smeared in the mud. She had put herself on the line and he called her a traitor and turned his back on her. Since then she had been afraid to make a move, worried that he would hurt her again. _I've got to take baby steps. This can be fixed I just have to be patient._

"Have you heard from your mom lately?" She asked, still rubbing his head. He looked up at her and Tara could see the pain in his brandy brown eyes. But it was more than physical pain, it was killing him to know that his mother was alone and in constant danger and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

"I heard from her a couple of days ago. She is ok but..there is still no word from my dad." Tara smoothed back his salt and pepper curls from his forehead so she could get better access.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan. Maybe it's just taking a while for him to get back. Or he can't find any extranet access where he is at." Kaidan closed his eyes again but Tara could still tell he doubted her words.

"Maybe," he murmured. "I told my mom about Matthew. She was thrilled and can't wait to meet him. I'm sure she was starting to think that I would never have kids." Tara laughed with him. Her mom had said those exact words when Tara had told her about their son.

"My mom is excited too, though she said she felt sorry for us trying to raise a child during the end of the galaxy." Kaidan's eyes opened and he studied her closely.

"You told her about me?" Tara shook her head.

"I didn't have to, she already knew." Her brow furrowed in thought. "I'm not sure how though, I never said a word to either of my parents about us." He looked guilty as he stared up at her.

"That may have been my fault. I spoke to her at your memorial and I wasn't very composed. I had been drinking the night before and was really hung over. I'm sure she assumed that I felt more for you than a subordinate should for his commander."

"You were hung over?" Tara could not believe it. "You never get drunk!"

Kaidan tensed at her shout and shut his eyes and she murmured her apology. He shifted so he could get a better view of her face.

"It was a bad time," was his only reply. Tara decided to drop the subject, he had suffered more then she could understand after her death, though she could sympathize after she almost lost him on Mars. She continued her massage as the silence drove on. He hummed contentedly from the pleasurable things she was doing to his head.

"I almost forgot how good you are at this." Tara smiled at the praise but a dark thought entered her mind and would not leave until she voiced it.

"I thought you were dating a doctor," she replied, trying to bite back the jealous tone and failing. "I figured she would be better at this than I am." Surprising her, Kaidan reached up and laced his fingers through hers and brought their entwined hands to his cheek. He pressed her hand against his face and reveled in its soft, coolness. He met her stare with a tender one of his own. Tara wanted to be angry. She had been when he first sent her that bull shit message after Horizon. She had remained faithful to him and had turned down many advances, how dare he move on with someone else? But once she had calmed down her anger subsided and she understood why he did it, he thought she was dead of course he would move on. Tara had still not seen anyone since her death in hopes that one day she and Kaidan would work out their issues, but thoughts of his 'doctor friend' still annoyed her.

"It was one date, Tara." He brought the back of her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. She bit back a gasp. "I didn't even want to go but my friend who set us up would not let it go until I at least met her. So we went to a bar and had a couple of drinks, but that was it. She invited me to her place," Tara felt her temper flare and started to reply but he brought his other free hand to her lips to stop her. "But I turned her down. I told her that I love someone else." _He said Love! Present tense!_

Tara did not know if that was just a slip or if he had said it in the present on purpose. Either way her heart leapt for joy. It must have been obvious on her face because Kaidan smiled brightly and kissed her hand again.

"I'm sure she was very nice," Tara responded in her diplomatic voice.

"She was nice, but she wasn't you. You were the only woman I wanted. And if I couldn't have you then I wouldn't have anyone."

"Kaidan.." He shushed her again and sat up so they were face to face on the bed.

"Look, we are going to be on the Citadel in a few hours. When you are done with your stock up and assignments I want to treat you to dinner."

Tara was surprised. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

He smiled again. "Yes I am." He reached over and pushed the bothersome bangs behind her ear. She leaned into his touch. "One of the things I regretted after Alchera was the fact that I didn't court you properly."

"Court me? You are so old fashioned," she teased lightly. He was not offended in the least.

"We both could use a breather and I just want to do things right. What do you say?" Tara considered teasing him some more but his face held such earnestness that she did not have the heart to mess with him.

"I would love to have dinner with you, Kaidan." His grin was infectious and she gave one in return. He looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was after one in the morning. He hopped off the bed and offered a hand to help her down.

"I think we need some sleep too," he led her out of the Medbay. "It's going to be a long day."

"Are you feeling better?" Kaidan stopped them by the elevator and he leaned in and kissed her forehead. Tara breathed in his scent and wished he would lower his lips just a couple of inches where she longed to be touched. He stepped back to the appropriate distance however and Tara was disappointed.

"I'm feeling much better," he answered and opened the elevator door. Tara knew she was being dismissed for bed and was half tempted to invite him up.

"Sleep well, Commander." He winked at her and she blushed faintly.

"You too, Major." The elevator closed and Tara made it to her cabin. That night she dreamt of her love and the nightmares did not invade.

**Hope you liked this one. I will hopefully have the next chapter by the end of the week. It will be about everyone's favorite: the Sanity Check date and will have plenty of fluff :) Thanks for the reviews and follows and favorites, it really makes the writing worth while.**


	8. Chapter 8

**IT"S SO FLUFFY! This chapter will have plenty of Shenko fluff. Includes the "Sanity Check" date with my own little twist. Enjoy! Some conversation is taken from the game so copyright goes to Bioware.**

Chapter 8: Sanity Check

"_Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it a while." -Wesley, The Princess Bride_

Tara woke up feeling rested and peaceful. After a quick shower she went down to the mess to grab a quick breakfast. They would be at the Citadel soon and she had a lot to get done before her date with Kaidan. Tara barely suppressed a squeal of delight. She was going on an actual date with her love for the first time. When she stepped off the elevator she was surprised to find Kaidan cooking and Matthew chatting away with Garrus and Tali. Tara walked over to her son and sat on next to him.

"Good morning, Shepard," Tali chirped. Matthew waved a fork in the air, his excitement obvious.

"Look Tara! Kaidan made me pancakes!" Tara patted his hair affectionately.

"They look delicious." Kaidan walked over and set a plate full of pancakes on front of her.

"He made you some too," the little boy said with a smile. Tara grinned at Kaidan.

"Thanks Major. How did you know I was hungry?"

"Just a hunch." Kaidan went back to the stove before calling out to their newest team member sitting at the far end of the table. "Would you like some, Javik?" The Prothean grunted unintelligibly but nodded. He chewed his food in silence but Tara could tell he enjoyed it. Liara joined them shortly after and the three women chatted after they ate. Garrus went back to his calibrations and Javik disappeared to his "cave" on the engineering deck. Amidst the talking Tara watched Kaidan and Matthew wash the dishes after they finished their breakfast. Kaidan flicked water in his son's face and the boy shrieked in delight, flinging water back at his father.

Tali leaned over and whispered in her ear, "They are so cute." Tara nodded her agreement. She was happy that they were getting along so well. Joker's voice came over the speakers.

"We are approaching the Citadel in ten minutes." Kaidan dried himself and Matthew off before rejoining Tara at the table. Liara went down to deck 4 to interrogate the ancient Prothean but Tara knew it would be to no avail. Javik's cold demeanor would not be easily broken. Their discussions usually ended up in fights between the doctor and Javik, Tara had to keep them from busting the bulk head numerous times. Tali had left as well having to speak with the Quarian Admirals one more time to get a last count on needed supplies. Matthew was nowhere to be seen though Tara assumed he had wandered off to his room to continue his game. Kaidan addressed the Commander.

"I have some work to do at the human embassy but I can take Matthew with me if you want." Tara was uncertain about letting her son off the ship. Not only was he more accessible to any remaining Cerberus agents, she Kaidan also ran the risk of someone snooping into their business to find out who the mysterious kid was that they were toting around.

"That would be great Kaidan; I know he is getting bored. But I don't think it is safe to let him out in public."

"I won't let him out my sight for a second. It will be fine." He squeezed her hand in reassurance. It was like they had switched places. Kaidan used to be the cautious one and she never worried about a thing. Now she couldn't stop worrying.

"What about tonight? Are we bringing him with us?"

"No, Joker aid he would keep an eye on him tonight." Tara eyed him doubtfully.

"Joker is going to babysit?!" He nodded. "Well, there goes our son." They both chuckled though Tara was half serious.

"Relax Tara; everything is going to be great. Plus EDI will be there to make sure they both behave." She was still not completely convinced but she really wanted this date and had wanted it for a long time.

"Alright, I trust you." She sipped at her coffee that Kaidan had refilled for her. "Where are we going for dinner?" The Major shook his head, a wicked grin danced across his face.

"It's a surprise. I will send you the coordinates when it's time to meet me."

"You've got everything planned out don't you, Major?" He winked at her and leaned in closely.

"Don't I always?" He moved even closer and Tara thought he would kiss her, their lips only inches apart. Then he suddenly pressed his lips on her cheek and pulled away just as swiftly, mindful of their public surroundings. Tara groaned in frustration and Kaidan laughed at her obvious irritation. "I'll see you tonight."

"You bet, Major."

* * *

The Presidium market place was alive with the hustle and bustle of the elite shopping in their over-priced, extravagant stores. Tara wandered through with EDI hoping they would not be recognized. They had already completed Tara's assignments and EDI had taken care of stocking their supplies. Now Tara was looking for something specific. She stopped in front of a dress shop; the window displays caught her attention with stylish and elegant evening gowns. Though they were too lavish for her evening with Kaidan, she still wanted to look for something simple and tasteful. She hoped they might have a dress for her inside since she didn't have anything remotely suitable for a date except her dress blues. Tonight she wasn't an officer; she was a woman in love spending an evening with the most amazing man in the galaxy. _When did I become so mushy?_ Despite EDI's confusion Tara went into the shop.

She scanned the racks and shelves for something to impress in but all the dresses she saw cost too much or were for formal events. A finger tapped her shoulder and Tara spun around startled. She was greeted by Tali and Liara.

"What are you doing here?" The embarrassed Commander whispered furiously.

"We saw you come in here and figured we would ask you the same thing." Liara explained, amused by Tara's reaction.

"Keelah Shepard, since when do you wear dresses?" Tali joined in, poking Tara on the shoulder.

"I wore a dress when I helped Kasumi at Hock's party."

"That was for a mission though." Tali quickly glanced around. "Are you on a mission now?"

"We have completed all assignments," EDI answered for the stuttering Commander. Liara and Tali exchanged a pointed glance.

"So what are you doing here?" Liara asked a mischievous grin on her face.

"I was just looking, which was silly because I have work to do." Tara moved toward the door. "The Reapers are at our back door and I'm wasting my time looking at clothes." Tali intercepted her from making an escape.

"You work too hard, Shepard, and you deserve some time to relax." She and Liara guided Shepard back to the clothing racks. "We are taking Rannoch in two days, enjoy the time off while we have it." Tara tried to protest but her friends would not budge. They spent an hour in the store while Tali and Liara picked out dress after dress insisting Tara try on each one they chose. EDI watched in fascination of the unfamiliar routine of organic females. They finally settled on a dark purple dress made of soft silk. It dipped below her knees and was tight from the waist down but loose up top; a perfect fit for a woman with voluptuous curves like Shepard. Tara was skeptical when they showed it to her but after she put it on and looked in the mirror she was amazed by the transformation from the battle-hardened commander to the petite and pretty woman before her.

Tali and Liara cooed their approval and even EDI complimented her. Tara debated on whether or not to buy the dress but with her friends' encouragement she decided to buy it and hoped Kaidan would like it. The asari working gave her a special discount for all she had done for the galaxy. Tara grabbed her bag and thanked the woman for her generosity before leaving.

"When are you going to wear it?" Tali inquired.

"I doubt it will be anytime soon. Unless the Reapers will start taking us seriously if I run around in evening wear."

"That would be better than underwear." EDI spoke up; the three women stared at her in shock. "That was a joke," she supplied. Tara put her hand on the AI's shoulder.

"You are spending too much time with Joker."

* * *

Stepping off the elevator to the Normandy's current dock Tara walked by Garrus who was sitting casually by a rented speeder. He waved her over.

"Shepard, glad you are here. I wanted to catch up with you during your free time."

"Sure Garrus, what's up?"

"I was hoping we could take a breather and relax for a little bit." Tara checked the time she still had a couple of hours before she was supposed to meet Kaidan.

"Sounds great, what did you have in mind?"

"Something that doesn't involve fighting the Reapers," Garrus said with a laugh.

"I don't think they have conquered the bar yet," Tara pointed out; she could use a drink to calm her nerves. Garrus shook his head in disagreement.

"If this was my last day alive I would actually like to remember it." He turned toward the speeder and climbed in beckoning for Tara to follow him. "So I had an idea." Tara set her bag in the backseat and climbed in after Garrus. He sped off into the traffic and kept climbing. As they flew above the traffic level Tara grew slightly concerned; she hated heights.

"Where are we going, Garrus?" The turian flexed his mandibles in a smile.

"Somewhere we are not supposed to."

"Since when do we go places where we _are_ allowed?" Garrus laughed with her but grew somber quickly.

"What is that one thing you've always wanted to do before you died?"

"I don't know. I guess I want to get married and have kids." Her best friend spared her a strange look but said nothing. "I've been too busy living to think about it. What's yours?"

"The whole time I was at C-Sec I would stare up at the top of the Presidium and say to myself: I want to go up there. But I never did because there were 137 regulations telling me I couldn't."

Tara was confused. "So you got them changed?" Garrus pulled the speeder to a stop on top of the ledge.

"I didn't change them. I just don't give a damn." They both hopped out of the speeder and Tara wandered cautiously towards the edge. Garrus was fidgeting with the speeder. "I figured it was time I did something stupid just for the hell of it. Might be the last chance I ever get." Tara frowned at his tone.

"You don't know that, Garrus." She looked back at him. "There is always plenty of chances to do something stupid." Garrus walked over to the edge to stand beside her and she gestured to the Presidium Lake thousands of feet beneath them. "Feel like a swim?"

"You obviously haven't seen turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing with occasional bouts of drowning." Tara grinned evilly.

"So I shouldn't push you in?" Garrus bestowed upon her his most mocking glare.

"If you did that you wouldn't have anyone to do your calibrations." She shrugged.

"Your right, I'd just have to save your ass again." Garrus went to the speeder and began digging about in the backseat.

"It would make up for all the times I've had to pull your ass out of the fire." He stopped digging and pulled out her bag. He held the garment up for her to see. "Is this a dress?" Tara rushed over and carefully snatched it out of his hands.

"Yes," she retorted in annoyance. "Were you trying to use it as a flag?" Garrus grinned.

"What do you need a dress for?" Tara blushed but dodged his question.

"So what are we going to do up here?" Her friend decided to be merciful and let his question slide. He pulled out two sniper rifles and handed one to her.

"It's been one hell of a ride, hasn't it Shepard?" She nodded and took the rifle, following him back to the edge.

"It's times like this when you learn who your real friends are. They aren't the ones looking for an escape route." Tara felt grateful to have such a reliable friend. Garrus had been there for her when even her lover had turned his back on her. Garrus faced death on multiple occasions just to help her and she would always be in debt to him for that. "They are the ones who stand at your side through the worst of it, they never give up on you. I'm lucky I can say I know someone like that."

"So am I." He hesitated then put an arm around her shoulder. "You aren't going to propose marriage now are you? Cause I think that might piss Kaidan off." She punched him lightly in the arm and he laughed. "Before we head back there is one thing I would like to settle once and for all." He picked up a bottle and walked back to her.

"I'm not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. I'm just saying some people know how to make it dance." Tara inspected the weapon she was given.

"There are a few people in the galaxy who survived long enough to see me in action. They seemed impressed."

"Yeah, but I've actually seen you dance. No comment." She gave him a mock glare replicating his from earlier.

"Alright Vakarian, you are going down." Garrus through the first bottle and she shot it easily and when it was his turn to shoot he hit his mark with ease despite the rapid breeze. They went on for several more rounds before Tara decided to miss on purpose. He threw it far and her shot went just above the bottle. Garrus threw up his hands in conquest.

"I am Garrus Vakarian and this is my favorite place on the Citadel!" Tara rolled her eyes at him but was delighted to see him so happy. It was ok to let him _think _he was a better shot than her. "I think I'm going to erect a monument right here. Bronze this gun so the whole galaxy knows."

"That you're the king of the bottle-shooters," Tara interrupted playfully. "I'm glad you're around Garrus, you never know when the bottles might revolt." They both shared a laugh and stared at the beauty of the Citadel in companionable silence.

A few hours later Tara was primped and clean; wearing the new dress she had bought earlier. The speeder dropped her off at the coordinates Kaidan had sent her and she got out carefully to avoid ruining anything. She gazed at the restaurant in awe. Kaidan had really outdone himself. It was intricately and elegantly designed and had a masterpiece of a garden decorating the front. Much better than the Apollo's café her and the crew frequented on a regular basis. Before she entered Tara smoothed her unruly curls and straightened out the uncomfortable dress. It was tight and she felt awkward in it. She really was beginning to regret letting Tali and Liara pick it out. The host led her to the table and the look on Kaidan's face when he saw her made wearing the dress all worthwhile. He jumped up from his chair and pulled hers out for her, ushering her to sit down. Kaidan looked amazing, wearing a stylish dress suit, making him look like an attractive business man rather than the fierce biotic warrior she loved. He sat down opposite her and the look in his eyes made her feel beautiful.

"You look absolutely incredible, Tara." She blushed fiercely and looked away.

"Thank you. So do you." He poured her a glass of wine and then one for him.

"It's a shame we can't dress up more often, you look great in a dress." Tara blushed again and studied her menu intensely. She felt incredibly out of her league. A charging brute she could handle, having a proper date with her former lover was proving difficult. She could barely form a coherent sentence without turning tomato red.

"Everything sounds delicious." Her stomach rumbled its agreement. Kaidan chuckled.

"Are you hungry?" She nodded.

"I haven't eaten since this morning." Tara set her menu down after making her choice. He looked like he wanted to say something but changed his mind. A moment later he spoke up.

"I'm glad we're taking time to do this. I know I could use a sanity check." Tara nodded her agreement.

"Things have been pretty crazy." Crazy was an understatement. Less than a year ago her biggest concern was surviving the boredom of house arrest. And three weeks ago she had no idea she was a mother. With everything coming at her it was nice to take a moment to breathe and enjoy Kaidan's company, uninterrupted.

"On Mars I saw my life flash before me and there weren't enough moments like this. With the people I care about." He glanced out the window displaying an impressive view of the stars surrounding the Citadel.

"How are you doing Kaidan? You took a big hit on Mars?"

"I'm feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me." His soft brown eyes met her blue ones in an intense gaze. "And I'm grateful I was able to convince you to sit down for a half a second and relax." She took a deep breath and decided to put her heart on the line once again.

"Me too. I think it's a good time for us to have a heart to heart." Her stomach plummeted to her feet when he looked away, clearly gathering his thoughts. She panicked. _What if he's changed his mind?!_ Tara didn't think she could take another rejection from him; she barely made it through the last one. He finally turned back to her.

"I feel really good about our chances." She cocked her head, confused. Who's chances, theirs or the galaxy's?

"Really?"

"Yeah, it helps me sleep better at night." She could sympathize with that.

"You aren't sleeping, Kaidan?" He shrugged indifferently, taking a large sip of his drink.

"Maybe a little restless. The war isn't the only thing keeping me up at night. I wonder about us."

_Here it goes. It's over, he's going to tell me he doesn't want me anymore. He just wants to be friends for Matthew's sake…_ It finally occurred to her that he was expecting some sort of response but the only thing she could manage was, "Oh?" This apparently was enough for him to continue.

"I stay up at night thinking about the time we spent together and it never seemed like enough. After Alchera my biggest regret was that I never got to tell you that I love you." Tara's heart leapt to her throat. She wanted to tell him she loved him to do but he continued his speech. "I thought I had lost you forever and that I would never have the chance to tell you how I felt. And then you came back and I was given a second chance, a rare gift." His eyes grew angry though she suspected it was anger at himself.

"But what did I do with that chance?" Tara assumed that was a rhetorical question. She was right. "I called you a traitor and turned my back on you. I hated myself after Horizon. I had fallen asleep every night after you died aching for you and waking up to find you still gone. But when I was given a second chance, I wasted it." His gaze was pained and Tara ached to hold him but the server was back and forth from their table and even as Spectres they could not risk being caught. "I have been given more chances than any man has a right to but each time I screwed it up. What I am trying to say is that I am the galaxy's biggest asshole and I hope you can forgive me."

Tara blinked away the sudden moisture forming in her eyes. "Of course I forgive you, Kaidan. I completely understand why you reacted the way you did. I would have done the same thing." He chuckled in self-depreciation.

"No you wouldn't have. You are a better person than I am." He took her hand in his. "I love you Tara, I always have. I'm not telling you this because of our son. I want to do right by him, but this is about you and me." She knew he was telling the truth. Kaidan was a good man and no matter what happened between them he would always be there for his son and he would still treat her well if they didn't work out.

"I want to take whatever this is between us and make it real. I hope against hope that you will give me one more chance. Just one more chance to love you the way I should have the past few years."

Tara did not respond immediately. She looked at their entwined fingers and thought about what she wanted to say. He was putting himself out there and risking heart break for her, because he truly loved her. That had been all she needed to hear.

"When I found out I was pregnant I was worried about what would become of us if we got caught. But a greater part of me was excited. Excited about becoming a mother but more excited because I had finally found someone that I wanted to have a baby with. I had finally found someone I wanted a future with." Kaidan's smile grew wider. Tara finally lifted her face, blue eyes met brown.

"I love you, Kaidan and I can't imagine my life without you in it." Kaidan squeezed her hand tightly before bringing it up to his lips to kiss the inside of her palm, her sweet spot. Tara felt a tingle run through her entire body.

"That makes me so happy, and there are benefits to that happiness." The server approached again and Kaidan put her hand down gently. "But more on that later."

_Oh hell no! _Tara's eyes widened in surprise. "Later?! We need to get to the Normandy, ASAP," she whispered furiously so as not to be overheard by the server. Kaidan chuckled softly.

"You know I like to take my time." Tara ate her meal as quickly as she could without choking. They talked about the next mission and about Matthew. He told her of things he had done during his time alone and she told him about her time with Cerberus. He listened without getting angry and that's when Tara knew they would be ok. It had taken a long time and a lot of heartbreak before they got to this point but it was well worth it. Their omni-tools both went off and Tara groaned, she was not ready for the night to end. It was a message with a picture of a sniper rifle next to a pile of bottles. The only thing it said was, "I am Garrus Vakarian, King of the Bottle Shooters!" Kaidan was confised but Tara just burst into laughter. It had been a perfect day.

After dinner Kaidan suggested a stroll through the Presidium. The streets were surprisingly empty and Tara was glad for it. She and Kaidan walked side by side, their hands laced together in open defiance if the rules. Thankfully there were few people to see it. The artificial night cycle had come and it was dark save for the street lights. Kaidan led her across the bridge to a spot she quickly recognized.

"Didn't that relay statue used to be here?"

"Yeah, it's hard to believe that the statue was a mini relay." Tara smiled, remembering their first trip to the Citadel. Her, Kaidan and Ashley had wandered around the Presidium while waiting for the Council to contact them.

"Ashley liked it. I'm sure she would have been shocked to find out it was more than a piece of art." Kaidan looked away and she knew he was feeling the same guilt she was. Ashley was a constant reminder that their love was forbidden and it had consequences. Though Ashley had known about them and she had encouraged Tara to pursue it. Ashley had told her that love was the most important thing in the galaxy and if you don't take risks for it then it isn't true love. She knew that loving Kaidan was a risk. They might not be caught but she could still lose him to the damn war. But Ashley had been right and Tara knew that she wouldn't trade the time she had with him for anything in the world.

She put her hand on Kaidan's arm in an effort to be closer to him but any further thought was forgotten when he placed a hand on the back of her head and pushed his lips against hers. It was not a gentle kiss like she was used to. This kiss was heated and passionate; he opened his mouth to her and delved his tongue inside where they clashed in desire. He pulled her impossibly closer, his other hand reaching around to grip the small of her back. Tara gripped the front of his shirt tightly, aching to remove it and feel the burning skin beneath. Kaidan broke away suddenly, his breath coming out in short pants. Tara's face was flushed and she was light headed from the lack of air. He took her hand and fairly dragged her down the street.

"Where are we going?" Tara barely got out, still having trouble regaining her breath from the kiss and now his race to whatever destination he was taking them to.

"To my apartment." Tara yanked on his hand to slow him down.

"Why don't we just go back to the Normandy? I have a huge officer's cabin," she suggested with a sly grin. He smiled but shook his head.

"No. Tonight we are not soldiers, we are not in a war, and there are no responsibilities waiting for us." He took her in his arms. "We are just two people in love who need a little privacy." He kissed her again and she believed that she would fly the moment he let her go. He finally did and led her towards his apartment.

"What about our son? He might be wondering where we are."

"Don't worry. Joker messaged me and said Matthew was fast asleep." _Ok then!_

They made it to his apartment quickly and Tara barely had time to take in the details before Kaidan picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Clothes were discarded in a frenzied rush and Tara sighed contentedly once there was nothing between them but the sweat of their hot skin. The passion between them exploded as they finally came together after three years apart and it was wonderful. Tara cried out Kaidan's name as she toppled over the edge and he followed her seconds later, swallowing her scream in a searing kiss. They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, peacefully drifting off into dreams that could not compare to the happiness they felt together.

**I**

**'m sorry this was such a long chapter but I just had to add in the competition with Garrus. It's one of my favorite parts of the whole series! Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Some dialogue was taken from the game, all owned by Bioware.**

Chapter 9: Taking Back Rannoch

Cortez expertly navigated the shuttle around the missiles being fired at them by the anti-air guns at the geth's base. Legion hopped out first, rifle at the ready, firing at the nearest pyromancer. Shepard followed close behind with Tali, Kaidan and Garrus at her heels. Kaidan tossed up a singularity allowing Shepard to pick off the remaining geth. They regrouped and Cortez commed her saying that they needed to take out the guns before the fleet could assist with air support. Legion scouted ahead to find a way into the base. Tali was in a daze, staring out at the calm bed of water below them. She formed a square in front of her and murmured to herself.

"This is where my living room window will be." Shepard joined her friend at the edge of the cliff.

"Something I should know?" Tali gestured to the space they were occupying.

"I just claimed the land." She sounded embarrassed. "I know it doesn't mean much, but when all this is over, I will have a home." Shepard could see Garrus moving out of the corner of her eye but she turned back to Tali.

"Since I'm helping do you think they will let me set up a beach house right over there? Just a little cabin overlooking the water?" She could hear the quarian's smile in her reply.

"I'm going to make sure you do. We can have a picnic by the water." Kaidan joined them by the edge.

"You guys have been nomads for centuries; do you think you can go pack to living in one place?"

"We have gotten used to carrying our homes around with us," she replied, wringing her hands together. Shepard leaned down and picked up a smooth stone by her feet. She placed it in Tali's hands.

"This is a good place to start," Shepard squeezed her friend's hand. Tali placed the stone in her ammunition belt and they moved to the path leading to the base. Garrus stepped back from the mountain face with a knife in his grip. He stepped to the side so the others could see what he had done. Carved into the rock wall was "Tali's Home." Shepard thought Tali might cry, instead she put an arm around Garrus's waist and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Garrus. That means a lot." Shepard and Kaidan both "awed" at the same time causing the couple to break apart quickly. Legion signaled them to let them know he had found a way into the base. The fight was rough but they quickly made it through to find the source of the problem, a Reaper.

* * *

Shepard jumped out of the geth fighter, taking her targeting gun with her. They had fought through the base and now it was time to take down a Reaper.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kaidan screamed at her over the roar of the Reaper. She ignored him and gestured for Legion to keep going.

"Shepard Commander, do you require assistance?"

"No, get out of here." Legion hesitated. "Go!" She ordered, Kaidan moved in his seat trying to get out of the fighter but the hatch closed before he could jump out. Shepard raced down the hill, dust kicking up with every step. The Reaper had steadied itself after the initial attack and it now clambered towards her. Radio chatter filled her ears alerting her of the fleet's arrival. The Normandy flew above waiting for the chance to strike. The blast shield opened over the Reaper's "eye" as its fatal laser took after her path. Shepard leapt to the left and rolled out of the way of its burning blaze. After each shot the Reaper drew closer, bearing down upon her within minutes. The metallic monster loomed over her casting a fearful shadow while blocking the sun from her view. Shepard felt the sting of sweat drip into her eyes; she blinked rapidly forcing herself to focus.

Years of muscle memory brought the gun to the forefront and she leveled the target to the Reaper's eye. Its center charged, the engines hummed and rotated in preparation for the final blast. Time stopped and so did her heart. She felt her finger squeeze the trigger and her eyes saw the target begin to narrow. But in those brief seconds she was aware of nothing except the paralyzing terror that flooded through her being. She was going to die and nothing she did could change that.

The sound of explosions startled her back to awareness; the blast that struck the Reaper flung her back into the rocks. It was painful to open her eyes but she managed to look through a hazy gaze in time to see the giant synthetic shudder and shake as its systems shut off. Shepard closed her eyes and sank back down in relief. What seemed like hours later she became aware of a warm and furious figure pulling her off the ground. Her eyes saw Kaidan examine her forehead, his touch was painful and she winced away from him. She felt her hand move to her brow and touch the sticky liquid flowing down her face. _When did I start bleeding?_ Her ears heard Kaidan shout at her to stay still but her feet would not allow her to stop. Her legs carried her numbly to the edge to peer over the cliff at her defeated enemy lying in the sand. Something in her snapped and she screamed in rage at the dying Reaper. She hates them with a furious rage she has never felt before. Her determination shattered and the fear would not release its grip on her. Shepard trembled when she noticed the eye turn its dark red hue.

"Shepard," It greeted its monotone voice eerily quiet. She grew tense in its presence. "Harbinger speaks of you. You resist, but you will fail. The cycle must continue."

"Why are you doing this? What is the point to this mindless slaughter?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"You represent chaos. We represent order. You must be harvested so that order will be brought to the chaos. Without our intervention, organics are doomed. We are your salvation." Kaidan appeared at her side, his hand rested on her arm. She grew stronger with his touch.

"That doesn't make any sense. You are killing us in order to save us?"

"The cycle must continue." Her temper flared in a fit of rage.

"The cycle is bull shit!" Kaidan's grip tightened on her, his face contorted in anger. "Organics and synthetics don't have to destroy each other. There can be peace!"

"The battle for Rannoch disproves your assertion. Finish your war. We will be waiting." The eye flickered once more before the Reaper slumped to the ground, dead.

Tali, Legion and Garrus joined them moments later. Legion informed them that the geth were no longer being controlled by the Reapers. Admiral Gerrel contacted Tali congratulating them on their success.

"You did it, Shepard! The geth fleet has stopped firing, they are completely vulnerable!" Legion walked to her side.

"Shepard Commander, the geth only acted in defense after the creator fleet attacked. Do we deserve death?" Shepard was at a loss.

"What are you suggesting?"

"With the Old Machines dead we can upload the upgrades without sacrificing independence." Her jaw dropped in surprise and she wasn't the only one.

"You want to upload the Reaper code?!" Tali screeched. "That would make all the geth as smart as when the Reaper was controlling them."

"Yes but we would have free will. We would be alive and we could help you." Tali and Legion dived into a heated argument reminding her of their time during the collectors' mission. Legion turned to address them all.

"Do you remember the question that caused the creators to attack us?" He looked at Shepard directly. "Does this unit have a soul?" No one spoke while she debated with herself on the best decision. Tali was her friend and she had been with her through thick and thin. But Legion had helped her too. She had seen how the geth were mistreated during the days after their creation; they deserved a chance to think for themselves. Remembering what she told the Reaper Shepard nodded at Legion.

"Upload the code to the geth. Tali call off the fleet if you can." Legion began the upload and Tali ordered the fleets to break off the attack. Gerrel had another idea. He instructed them to continue the attack and press the advantage while they had it. Tali pleaded with Legion to stop his download but Shepard broke in.

"No. No one else dies today. Legion, keep going." Shepard pulled out her omni-tool to address the fleet. "All ships this is Commander Shepard. The Reaper is dead. Stand down." Tali and Admiral Korris gave her their support. But Gerrel refused to back down.

"Negative! We can win this war now, keep firing!"

"The geth are about to return to full strength, if you keep attacking they will wipe you out!" Shepard pleaded with them to understand. "Your entire history is you trying to kill the geth. You forced them to rebel. You forced them to ally with the Reapers." Legion declared the upload at eighty percent. Tali wrung her hands anxiously and Kaidan paced back and forth. If this didn't work the quarians would be slaughtered and she would lose one of her greatest allies for the war, not to mention she would probably lose one of her closest friends.

"The geth do not want to fight you! If you can believe that for just one minute, then this war will be over." Shepard breathed in deeply. "You have a choice. Please, Keelah se'lai." The time dragged on for ages, before Admiral Gerrel replied.

"All units hold fire." Tali whooped for joy and Garrus congratulated her with a pat on the back. Kaidan gave her the softest smile that he saved especially for her. Warmth pooled in her stomach, pure joy filled her heart. There would be peace, she was sure of it.

"Error, copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination required."Legion stopped working on the code and faced them. Shepard glanced at Tali questioningly?

"What does that mean, Legion?"

"I must go to them, Shepard Commander. I'm sorry, it's the only way."

"Legion no, you don't have to do this!" Shepard pleaded her tone surprising her; she had lost too many people already.

"I'm sorry, Shepard." Tali walked up to him.

"Legion, the answer to your question is yes."

"I know Tali, but thank you. Keelah se'lai." His headlight shut off and he dropped to his knees, falling face first into the dirt. Shepard rushed to him, just to check, to make sure that he might not be gone. But his lifeless, motionless body confirmed his "death." A hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up to see Kaidan standing above her.

"I'm sorry, Shepard." He held out a hand to help her up. Garrus spun around quickly, rifle in hand. Dozens of geth approached them a prime leading the way.

"Admiral Tali Zorah, you are welcome to return to Rannoch, with us." Shepard stepped up, hopeful at the sound of the geth speaking before them.

"Legion?" The prime shook its head.

"No. I'm sorry, Commander. Legion sacrificed itself to give us all independence. It will be honored."

Her shoulders slumped. "Good."

"And we will honor Legion's promise. The geth fleet will help you retake Earth, and our engineers will assist in building the Crucible."

"As will ours of course," agreed Admiral Raan who had joined them. The prime and Raan worked out settlements sites but Shepard focused on Tali who was now sitting on the cliff, her legs dangling over the edge.

"Shopping for another house?" Tali chuckled.

"Beachfront property."

"Claim it fast; it's a buyer's market."

"I'm coming with you, Shepard. You helped me take back my home, the least I can do is retake yours." Shepard placed a hand on her friend's shoulder in gratitude. They both watched the sun set over the horizon, enjoying the quiet moment of peace.

* * *

"Commander, may I have a word with you?" Tara finished removing her armor, placing each piece back in her locker carefully. She knew Kaidan was angry at her, even more than his tone implied. Even three years ago, when he had been a lieutenant under her command, he had been protective of her. Whenever she took great risks he would wait until they were alone to respectfully admonish her and plead with her to be more careful, to ask for help. His protectiveness over her was one of the things that had attracted her to him. No one, outside of her family, had ever cared that much to be worried about her safety. Most of the time the over-protectiveness was endearing but she was in no mood for it now. Legion's death was still fresh and she was physically and mentally exhausted.

"What do you need, Major?" Kaidan did not reply but gestured towards the elevator indicating he wanted some privacy. Tara reluctantly followed him in and the second the door closed he let loose.

"What the hell were you thinking, Tara? You can't just take on a Reaper on foot, you could have been killed!"

"But I wasn't," she stated as if that explained away her actions, it only served to piss him off. Kaidan rarely let his temper take hold of him, having learned his lesson after Vyrnnus. But Tara knew he was beyond upset at her, frustration seeping through his pores thickening the tension in the elevator.

"This time you weren't but if you keep pulling stunts like that, who's to say you won't die the next time?" He took in a deep breath visibly trying to calm himself. Tara crossed her arms over her chest, trying to distance herself from the turmoil rolling through her; she knew she had hurt him by running off to fight the Reaper alone. But at the time she did not see another option and she did not want the others hurt. "We need you alive, Tara." She tensed and backed away from him. The burden of saving the galaxy was already too heavy without him adding to it.

"Don't worry, Major, I'll make sure I don't die until after the war," she snapped, misunderstanding his words. His eyes widened in pain, a brief flash of sorrow passed over his face.

"I don't care about the damn war!" He took her shoulders and gripped them fiercely, drawing her closer. "I need you, our son needs you. The galaxy doesn't matter to me as much as you do. And I don't care if that sounds selfish, I don't want to lose you again." All of her anger dissolved instantly and a hollow feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to die but the galaxy was counting on her to succeed, meaning more risks were necessary. After she woke on the Cerberus ship her primary focus had been to stop the Collectors and the Reapers. She poured all of her time and energy into the fight and had not given a thought to the after.

Tara just assumed she would not survive the end. But things had changed, Tara had reasons to surive. She and Kaidan made up and were cherishing every moment they could spend together. They now had a son to consider. He was so young and Tara didn't know what would happen to him if she died. Again. Looking into her lover's eyes she saw the fear entwined around his heart. He barely made it through after her first death. If she died again, Tara knew it would be the end of Kaidan. She knew that even their son would not be enough to keep him going if he lost her again.

In a sudden rush of emotion Tara gripped the back of his head and pulled him down to meet her in a heated kiss. Throwing all caution to the wind, Kaidan pushed her against the elevator wall, his tongue fighting hers, deepening the kiss. His hands crawled up her flushed skin underneath her shirt and they lightly grazed her clung to him as her last lifeline, her grip leaving white marks on his arms and neck. They kissed away the fear and the hurt, with each touch the surety of their love grew stronger. She would fight for this, their love and their lives. She would fight for their son and the chance to be a real family.

The elevator slowed to a stop and Tara pushed away gently to regain her breath before they were exposed to the crew. Kaidan squeezed her hand before dropping it slowly right as the door slid open. Matthew appeared, his eyes wide and a smile plastered on his face. He raced up to them and threw his arms around each of their legs. Tara's heart leapt, it was the first time he had ever hugged them.

"That was awesome!" He exclaimed animatedly throwing his arms up in the air. "That thing was huge!" Tara laughed stroking his hair fondly. Kaidan picked him up and carried him to the observation room. He set the boy gently on the couch and sat down next to him. Tara sat down on the other side.

"Were you scared when you saw it?" Matthew asked Tara, curiosity pulsing through him.

"I was a little bit. It was a big Reaper!"

"You must be really brave," the boy declared. Kaidan wrapped an arm around Matthew and it touched Tara's shoulder. He winked at her and addressed his son.

"Your mother is the bravest person I know." Tara touched Kaidan's hand and smiled. It would be ok; the galaxy could wait for a couple of hours. Tara was going to enjoy the time she had with her family. No matter what happened at the end; she would always have this moment. The stars faded away, and for that moment everything was ok.

**Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, sorry it was shorter than the others. Please Read and Review. **

**PS: You may have noticed that I switch between "Shepard" and "Tara" a lot. I really want to establish a difference between "Shepard" the Commander and "Tara" the woman, the mother and girlfriend. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: The Dream

"Behave yourself, Joker. We won't be gone long," Shepard had instructed the pilot before her, Alenko, and Vakarian disembarked to Ontarom to secure a communication hub from Cerberus. That had been almost three hours ago and Joker was starting to get bored. No change that. He was beyond bored. These were the missions he hated the most; when he just sat out in space while all the action happened down below. EDI sat next to him in the co-pilot's chair, focusing on recent weather patterns to ensure they did not fly into a storm. Liara was at the terminal behind him, monitoring the progress of the mission.

"What is taking so long?" Joker asked the Shadow Broker. She shook her head then cocked it to the side listening to the radio chatter.

"I'm not sure," she replied. "It seems that there are more Cerberus troops down there than they originally thought."

"I guess Cerberus really wants to keep this hub." Liara shrugged but did not reply. Joker fiddled with a deck of cards he borrowed from James. Kaidan had given him a few tips but he still needed more practice. He was running out of money very quickly.

EDI sat up straight, eyes focused out the window, completely alert.

"There is a ship approaching." Joker's fingers flew over his console, activating the long range scanner to identify the ship. Nothing came up on the scanner. Joker glanced at EDI concerned.

"Are you sure, EDI? I'm not picking anything up."

"I am positive, Jeff. The signature is faint but I am able to detect it." Joker checked his console again but his equipment could not find anything.

"Maybe it is the Alliance reinforcements we are expecting," Liara suggested.

"Can you tell if is a friendly?" Joker asked the AI. A loud roar sounded outside the Normandy as a large cruiser bearing Cerberus symbols appeared to the side of them.

"I think it is a hostile," EDI supplied helpfully. Joker sounded the alarm to alert the crew and took evasive maneuvers to avoid the enemy ship.

"How the hell did they surprise us like that?" Joker snarled to no one in particular. Liara worked frantically at the console mumbling a strong krogan curse.

"Communication has been cut! I can't contact Shepard."

"Shit!" Joker spat out. The Cerberus ship began firing at them. Joker had already activated the shields and they were holding well. The cruiser chased them through space refusing to give up pursuit. Joker dodged the laser blasts coming from the cruiser with expected ease. Several Cerberus fighters joined in the fight. Liara informed the crew to get all hands on deck to prepare for a dog fight.

"This is not right," EDI mumbled to herself though Joker heard her.

"What is it, EDI? What's the problem?" EDI shook her head, and actually appeared confused. That scared the shit out of Joker.

"Their targeting is off," she informed him.

"That's good for us." He had no idea why she would be disturbed by Cerberus _not _being able to shoot them.

"The targeting is off on purpose. They are not trying to hit us." _That_ got his attention. Both he and Liara studied the AI.

"What are you trying to say, EDI?" Liara asked her.

"I believe they are trying to use the firefight as a distraction. They do not want to hit us."

Joker was unsure of why they would deliberately avoid damaging them. "The Illusive Man must be trying to get his ship back-" A second alarm went off next to him. "The shuttle bay is being overridden! What's going on?"

"EDI can you stop the override?" Liara stepped up behind the AI.

"Negative! They have engaged us in cyberwarfare and I am trying to counteract it. It is some kind of virus." Joker ordered an evacuation of the shuttle bay before they got shot out of the ship into the cold vacuum of space. The pilot continued to weave out of the blasts, trying to avoid the cruiser and the fighter. This wasn't difficult since the ships weren't trying to shoot them anyways.

"We are being boarded!" Liara shouted grabbing the weapon at her side and ran off to the elevator.

"Oh hell no!" Joker stood up shakily and opened a hidden compartment revealing an assortment of weapons. He picked up his favorite pistol and scooted around the chair. "Fly the ship, EDI. I'm not losing this crew or the ship again!"

"I don't think they are after the ship, Jeff." He glanced at her quizzically. "They brought biotics with them." That made sense if Cerberus wanted to take the ship since they have biotics on the team. No Cerberus troops, biotic or not, were a match for Liara and Javik. Even with Kaidan being on the planet below Joker knew the team still on the Normandy could handle the biotic threat. Joker paused as a thought hit him like a brick. _Matthew!_

"They are after Matthew!" He looked back at EDI who nodded.

"You must hurry, Jeff." Joker walked as fast as he could to the engineer tunnel that would take him to the crew deck. He had to get to the boy before Cerberus did. His body creaked as he moved, pain thumped in his joints. His breath came in a strangled sound but he pushed himself harder, he had to get Matthew. Failure was just not an option.

"Shepard is going to kill me."

* * *

"That was just ridiculous," Shepard groaned, arching her back in the shuttle seat. They had finally managed to clear the entire facility of Cerberus troops after three hours of grueling battle. It had seemed like there would be no end to the ongoing barrage of enemy soldiers coming at them. Next to her Kaidan yawned and leaned his head against the wall.

"I've never seen that many troops at one facility before. It seems a little excessive."

"I agree," Garrus was standing in front of them, his hand gripping the bar across the top. "I think there is something strange going on."

"Commander, we've got a problem!" Cortez shouted up from the pilot's chair. Shepard joined him up front, scanning the skies outside the window.

"What is it, Lieutenant?"

"I can't get a hold of the Normandy, Ma'am. The connection isn't going through."

"Can you get a lock on their position?"

"Searching, Ma'am." Seconds later the console started beeping. "We've got incoming Cerberus fighters! There is a cruiser attacking the Normandy." Kaidan rushed up to the front to stand at her side. Shepard reached for the comm, hoping for any contact.

"Shore party to Normandy, shore party to Normandy. Can you read me?" No response. "Normandy, come in. Can you read me?" Static sounded on the other end before EDI appeared on the screen.

"Shepard we are under attack from Cerberus. They have boarded the Normandy." Tara's heart nearly stopped upon hearing those words. "We believe they are after the boy you rescued from them." Tara felt Kaidan's hand squeeze her shoulder but she paid no attention to it. Her only thought was to get to the Normandy and save her son.

"We are on our way, EDI. Get Matthew to a secure place on the ship and under guard. I won't let Cerberus take him."

"Yes, Shepard," EDI replied. "Jeff is trying to retrieve him now."

"Joker is getting him? Where is the rest of the team?" Concern and anxiety flooded her senses. Joker was a cripple; he would not be able to keep Matthew safe for long.

"They are dealing with the troops. Cerberus brought biotics with them," EDI informed them.

"They really want that kid back," Garrus murmured from behind her. Tara began to tremble and she glanced at Kaidan. His face was a steel wall; his eyes were ablaze in a fiery rage. His fists lighted in dark energy, his biotics at the ready.

"We are almost there, Commander." Cortez weaved around a fighter, using the Kodiak's weapons to blast the enemy ship out of the sky. Tara moved to the door in preparation for a quick exit. She checked her weapons and readied them for battle. She would tear apart any Cerberus troop in her path. Nobody messes with her son.

Matthew had seen the Cerberus ships in his window. He heard the alarms ringing and he peeked his head out the door to see what was going on. James told him to lock the door and do not leave the room under any circumstances.

"I will come get you when it is safe," James said to him before locking the observation door behind him. Matthew sat in the chair anxiously watching the Cerberus fighters flying around the ship. He could hear gunfire outside of the room and it frightened him. Matthew was terrified of Cerberus and did not want to be taken back to them. Metallic voices spoke right at his door and the boy got up and hid behind the nearest table. Sparks crackled as a laser appeared through the door making a hole big enough for people to fit through. His body began to glow as dark energy swirled around him. Objects floated in his gravity but he paid no attention, his eyes did not leave the door. Within moments the melted pieces of the door fell to the ground and Cerberus troops burst into the room. Matthew panicked as they approached him. He held out a blue tinted palm in warning hoping they would leave him alone. Instead they moved even closer and fear took hold of him. He pulled all the energy he could muster and biotically Pushed the troops away. They hit the far wall with a resounding thud and agonized screams.

Matthew cautiously approached them, hesitating when one of them lifted his head. The soldier's helmet had been thrown off and Matthew could see the hollow glow of white from the man's eyes. His ash grey skin was splattered with blood and he gurgled low in his throat all the while never taking his robotic eyes off of Matthew. The man's head dropped to the ground, his gaze unwavering even in death. Without realizing it, tears fell down the child's face as he stared at the first man he had ever killed. He fell to his knees, his stomach recoiling in disgust. Vomit rose up in his throat and he could not contain it. His body shook and he tried to breathe but he could not calm down.

"Matthew!" The boy got back up, recognizing the voice of the person who had called him. He peered out of the door and saw Joker limping towards him.

"Joker!" Matthew called out as the pilot hustled to him. Joker surveyed the carnage inside the boy's room. Bloodied bodies littered the floor and dents decorated the wall.

"Did you do that?" Joker asked the boy, gesturing to the mess. Matthew looked away as a single tear fell down his cheeks. _He is too young for this shit._ Joker wanted to comfort him but gunfire echoed from down the hall forcing the pilot to focus on the task at hand. "I need to get you to safety."

"They are going to take me away," Matthew whispered so low that Joker almost didn't hear him. He took the kid by the hand and pulled him down the hall past the bathrooms.

"I won't let that happen," Matthew did not look confident as he observed Joker's gait. "And neither will Shepard, she will be here soon." He smiled at that news. Joker rounded the corner to get back to the AI core through the medbay. The elevator door opened revealing more troops. Joker pushed Matthew behind him and fired rapidly, shooting one on the head and another through the chest. _I'm glad I let James modify this thing for me._ Three more were behind the fallen troops and they approached quickly. Joker felt a tingling travel up his spine and he glanced down at Matthew who was bathed in an electric blue hue. Joker backed away unconsciously as the boy threw up a hand. A barrier appeared around him and Joker protecting them from the whizzing gunshots of the Cerberus troops. They slowly backed up to the medbay door as the soldiers continued to fire in their direction but nothing was getting through. Beads of sweat dripped down Matthew's forehead and Joker knew the child was struggling to maintain the barrier. The troops realized they were about to lose their target so they charged forward. Joker fired his pistol but only shot one in the leg as the other two sprinted towards them. Matthew dropped the barrier and in a surge of strength he Pushed dark energy out in a wave sending the soldiers back, hard. Joker's jaw dropped, stunned by the impressive display. He commed EDI asking her to unlock the medbay and once the door locked shut Matthew fell to the floor.

"Dr. Chakwas!" Joker shouted to the ship's physician who was attending to a crew member shot in the leg. She rushed over to them and picked the boy up, setting him gently on the nearest cot. Her hand gripped his wrist checking for a pulse. Joker tensed anxiously. The kid had to be ok.

"He is fine, just exhausted," she informed Joker. Matthew opened his eyes and sat up with a groan, gripping the amp at the base of his skull. Dr. Chakwas placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "You overused your biotics, little one." She handed him a glass of water which he drank greedily. "You need to be more careful."

"Is he ok to move? We need to get to the cockpit, he will be safe there." The doctor nodded so he helped Matthew off the table and headed to the AI core. "Lock the door so they can't follow us," he instructed the doctor before disappearing behind the closed door.

Tara reloaded her Mattock before taking out two more troops. They had landed in the shuttle bay and cleared it out before moving onto the engineering deck in their search for Matthew. Kaidan tossed up a singularity allowing Tara to eliminate the remaining soldiers. Adams and the other engineers were holed up in Diana Allers' room. Tara let them know the level was clear and then proceeded up to the crew deck. Garrus was out of the elevator first, shooting two troops in the back while they were focused on James.

"Commander, glad you are back." James jogged up to them to explain the situation. Tara did not care.

"Where is Matthew?" She interrupted, scanning the surrounding area.

"I locked him the observation room for safety." He pointed down the hall and Tara took off, the others trailing behind her. She stopped short when she saw the door. A massive hole had been burned through it. Tara felt a strangled sob rise in her throat, fearing the worst. Kaidan saw it too and sprinted to the room before her. They took in the debris and dead Cerberus troops in shock. Tara searched the room frantically, praying she would not find the body of her son. James whistled low after he walked in the room.

"That kid has got some amazing biotics." He walked over to the left wall. "Look at damage and the blood. He must have thrown them pretty hard."

"I'm sure he is ok," Kaidan whispered, taking hold of her arm in an effort to calm her down. She pushed him away roughly, unwilling to relax until Matthew was found.

"EDI? Have you located Matthew?" Tara asked the AI who was still piloting in Joker's absence.

"He is with Jeff now. They are trying to get to the cockpit." There was pause. "I am unable to get an exact lock on their location, however, due to the interference."

"They probably went through the engineering tunnel that he took before when the Collectors attacked the Normandy," Garrus suggested. "Which means they will be coming out in the War Room."

"Let's get up there!" She ordered. The four of them piled in and hit level 2. Coming out of the elevator on the second deck they were greeted by Tali and two of the guards finishing off the remaining troops in the vicinity.

"Tali, has Joker come through here?" Tara asked the quarian. She shook her head holstering her shotgun.

"No. Liara and Javik are in the War Room. A couple of phantoms and a biotic managed to get in there. EDI locked down the systems so they could not access any information." Tara thanked her friend and went through the security scan. She opened the door to the War Room to find Liara and Javik lit up in a biotic glow, pulsing with energy as they surrounded the captured phantoms. The lead Cerberus biotic had taken hold of the boy and had a glowing hand at his throat. Joker pointed his pistol at the leader as Tara circled around the top level, her Predator drawn and aimed at the man. Kaidan and Garrus circled to the other side guns drawn and ready. James and Tali took point beside Liara and Javik. The Cerberus biotic was surrounded and he knew it, but he was not going down without a fight.

The leader gripped Matthew tighter and Tara tensed. One biotic pulse would splatter her son's brains across the room.

"Are you ok, Matthew?" She asked, checking him for injuries, though she couldn't see much from the distance. He appeared to be ok.

"Not doing to good. He wants to take me back to Cerberus," he retorted in a soft voice. Tara inched closer as the biotic stepped back intending to escape through the tunnel Joker and Matthew had just come out of.

"Let him go," Tara ordered the biotic. He glanced around the room taking notice of the growing amount of people in the room. "There is no way you are getting out of here. Surrender and release the boy and you will not be harmed." The biotic shifted his view to her, a malicious grin on his face. His tight black uniform shined in the overhead light, the Cerberus logo a burning emblem on his chest.

"The Illusive Man wants his property back." Taking another step back, he dragged Matthew with him. "We need the boy's help."

"What? With the Adjutants?" Tara tried to distract him while Kaidan moved into position. The man saw him moving and turned towards Kaidan to show him the danger Matthew was in.

"Don't think about it, Pretty Boy. Unless you want to be cleaning up brain matter for the next week." Kaidan stopped moving but did not step back. The biotic looked back at Tara. "You are too short sighted, Shepard. You are too focused on destroying the Reapers that you are missing the big picture."

"What am I missing?" She asked trying to keep him occupied. The more he talked the less focused he was on the glowing fist at her son's neck.

"This boy is the pinnacle to our evolution," he exclaimed, shaking Matthew slightly. "The Illusive Man says he is going to help us control the Reapers." Matthew gave him an incredulous look.

"No I'm not! Those things are huge!" The boy shouted at him, squirming in the biotic's grasp. Tara agreed with her son, more and more Cerberus was beginning to sound like an insane asylum rather than a terrorist organization.

"That will never work! The Reapers cannot be controlled," Tara argued with the crazy man. Kaidan motioned to Matthew counting with his fingers from five.

"Your ignorance means nothing. This child is the future of humanity and Cerberus dominance." He had reached the hatch and edged Matthew toward it. Looking back at Tara he sneered, "Time to say good bye to your-" A shot rang out as a bullet pierced the biotic's brain. Kaidan lowered his pistol and breathed out in relief. His shot had been true and the man fell to the ground dead. Tara holstered her weapon and flew down the stairs taking Matthew in her arms, not caring that the others were watching her.

"Are you ok?" She placed her hands on either side of his face looking into his eyes for any sign of pain.

"I'm fine, Tara." He looked up at Kaidan standing at his mother's side. "Thank you," he said to both of them. Tara ordered Traynor to alert the Alliance of the captured Cerberus members and to arrange a drop off. A blast rocked the ship surprising the people inside. The cruiser became aware that all their soldiers were gone so they adjusted their targeting intent on now destroying the ship. More blasts rattled the Normandy as the shields began to fail.

"Get us out of here, Joker!" Tara ordered her grip on Matthew tightened. Joker sped off towards the cockpit, taking over the piloting from EDI. He tried to dodge the barrage of lasers being fired in their direction. Another shot to the bow had him concerned.

"Shields at 20 percent!" EDI announced, fingers flying rapidly over her console.

"Hold together, baby" Joker whispered, they approached the relay at lightning speed and burst through it before the cruiser could shoot them again. Joker leaned back in his chair and whistled.

"I knew everything would be fine."

* * *

Hours later Tara tucked Matthew in a bunk in the crew quarters. His new sleeping place until the observation room could be cleaned and repaired. Most of the damage had been fixed, the bodies disposed of and repair of the shields would take place once they reached the Citadel. Part of Tara hesitated to leave her son alone. She almost slept in the room with him but Kaidan stopped her, insisting that they would be right upstairs if anything happened. Joker looked nervous when she went to check on him, fearing the reaction of his Commander about allowing Cerberus to board. Tara reassured him that it was not his fault and she did not blame him in the slightest. His relief was palpable and she felt guilty for not relieving him sooner. After both the Collector attacks on the Normandy, Joker was obsessive with keeping his ship and its crew safe. After checking up on the rest of the crew and filing her report Tara finally crawled into bed, curling up next to Kaidan's warmth.

_The wind blew steadily, the trees in the park waved back and forth as Tara searched for the boy as she had done every time before. The blond child darted behind a wide tree and by the time she reached him he disappeared again. _

"_Shepard Commander, help us." Tara spun around searching for Legion. Shadows passed by her, through her, but none resembled the geth. She caught sight of a mop of blond hair weaving in and out of shadows. He glanced over his shoulder and locked his gaze with hers briefly before running off again. Tara followed as quickly as she could but for some reason her body was in permanent slow motion._

"_You must not fail, Siha." She expected to see Thane before her but he was nowhere in sight. She tried to speak, to reassure her friend that everything would be alright, but her voice would not work when she tried to speak. _

"_Someone else would have gotten it wrong, Shepard." The voice of Mordin spoke in the breeze. The child reappeared not too far away from her._

"_Shepard," A familiar voice whispered in her ear. Turning slightly a shadow stood before her, taking on a slight female form. "Shepard," it whispered again, using Ashley's voice. _

_Tara tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled moan. The shadow appraised her with pity._

"_You cannot save everyone." The shadow stepped aside, gesturing to the little boy crouching under a lamppost. The shadow disappeared and Tara jogged slowly to the boy, her hand out stretched in an effort to help him. The child looked up at her and his blond hair vanished, his face became blurry until it was replaced by a mess of black curls and piercing blue eyes that gazed up at her. Tara stopped short, tears streamed down her face as she watched her son burst into flames._

"Matthew!" Tara shot up in bed, sweat peppering her brow. Kaidan moaned in his sleep and rolled over. He felt a migraine coming on after the incident with Cerberus earlier so he took the meds Dr. Chakwas prescribed him to ward off the pain. Luckily the drugs knocked him out for hours so he was not disturbed by her thrashing about. Tara stroked his chest, loving the way his muscles felt underneath her finger tips. A dark figure moved on the couch startling Tara. She reached for her pistol and pointed it at the intruder.

"It's me." A soft child's voice spoke in the darkness. Tara slipped on Kaidan's shirt and flipped on the lamp at her bedside table. Matthew sat with his legs folded underneath him; a pillow lay next to his leg. Tara scooted up next to him frantically checking him for any injuries. The dream remained at the edge of her consciousness, the sight of her burning son ever present in her mind.

"What are you doing up here? Is everything ok?"

"I couldn't sleep," he replied, edging over closer to her. His eyes were droopy and red and Tara could tell it wasn't a lack of desire to sleep that kept him awake. She slipped an arm around his shoulders and he rested his head on her chest.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Her son shook his head but did not reply. Instead he sat quietly for a long time. Tara thought he might have fallen asleep but when she looked at him he was fixated by the luminescent glow of the fish tank.

"I killed him." Tara was startled by the statement; it was not something she thought a three year old should ever say. He still would not look away from the fish.

"You killed him?" She repeated, confused. He tore his gaze away from the fish and met her eyes. He blinked away the tears forming in his eyes; the look on his face was distraught.

"I've never killed anyone with my biotics before." Her heart broke into a million pieces and she pulled him into a crushing hug. He hugged her back, burying his face into her shoulder.

"It was not your fault, Matthew. Those men were trying to take you and you defended yourself, there is nothing wrong with that." The little boy let out a weary yawn and snuggled closer to her. Tara grabbed the pillow from around him and placed it on her lap allowing him to lay his head down and rest.

"I didn't want to hurt them," he mumbled into the pillow. Tara stroked his dark silky curls in an effort to sooth him.

"You did the right thing for the situation you were in. That's all anyone can expect you to do."

"The scientists made me fight the other kids." Tara frowned deeply, his statement reminded her of the stories Jack had told her from her time on Pragia.

"There were other children with you?"

Matthew nodded, looking away at the fish. "Not many." He held up one hand and counted with his fingers. Tara found it adorable. "There were five of us."

"Were they all your age?"

He shook his head again. "It was Snail and Scarlet and Teddy and Bug and me." Tara crinkled her nose in amusement.

"Bug?"

Matthew grinned, remembering his friend. "He had bug eyes. They were really big."

"They made you fight each other?" Matthew gazed up at her, pain reflected in his eyes.

"I didn't like it. I didn't like hurting them." Tara placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I will never let Cerberus take you from me again. I won't let them hurt you anymore. That is a promise." His gratitude was evident in his wide-eyed smile and Tara felt an intense bond surge between them. Her heart filled with an overwhelming love for this little life she created. Kaidan snored slightly, startling them both. They watched as he rolled back over, his arm reaching for her but it was unable to find her so he settled for gripping her pillow to his chest and breathed in her scent. Matthew laughed at the sight of his love-struck father.

"I like him," he told Tara who smiled down at him. He turned his gaze back to hers. "I like you." Tara stroked his hair, her heart about to burst.

"I like you too."

**I don't know how I feel about theis chapter. I kept changing things and rewriting pieces. Let me know what you think :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Workout

"_Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate."-Anonymous_

Kaidan kneeled down so he was eye level with his son. He stretched out his hand and concentrated using his familiar mnemonic to create a singularity. Matthew squeaked his delight at the new move. They had been practicing all morning on conditioning. After Chakwas told him about Matthew tiring himself out, Kaidan was determined to keep his son from permanently damaging his amp and his brain. After a few hours Kaidan was impressed with his son's progress and was going to let him go play but Matthew had insisted on seeing a display of Kaidan's biotics. Kaidan was unable to resist the chance to show off to his little boy so he showed him every move he knew. Matthew chatted away, unable to contain the dark energy inside him in his excitement. Kaidan instructed Matthew in creating a singularity and moved a short distance from him watching his boy try to replicate the move. Thankfully the shuttle bay was empty save for James and Cortez.

Kaidan sat down on a nearby crate marveling at the tenacity of his three year old son. Matthew clearly inherited his stubbornness from Tara. Creating a singularity was difficult for older and more experienced biotics, much less a child. But Matthew attacked it with a Shepard determination and an unbending will to succeed. James approached him and sat down, watching Matthew with amusement.

"That is an amazing kid," James commented, chuckling at the frustrated look on Matthew's face as his semi singularity disappeared. "He is handling the attack pretty well." Kaidan nodded in agreement. Truth be told Matthew was probably handling it a lot better than Kaidan was. He had gotten a migraine from the stress and fear of losing his only child so shortly after they got him back. It had been risky of him to take the shot at the biotic but all Kaidan could focus on was the biotic's hands at his son's throat and it took all the control he had not to tear the man to pieces. Kaidan had more hatred for Cerberus now than he ever had before. The Illusive Man would pay dearly for all he had done to the people Kaidan loved.

Matthew let out a triumphant shout as a small, but effective singularity floated in the distance. The little boy ran over to Kaidan and jumped into his lap, throwing his arms around his father's neck.

"I did it, Kaidan!" The major hugged his son, smiling with pride. James patted Matthew on the shoulder.

"Good job, buddy."

"Thanks James, it was hard." James grinned and got up to help Cortez finish the weapons maintenance.

"I'm going to a good biotic like you," Matthew announced after Kaidan set him back down on the floor. Kaidan's chest swelled with pride, flattered that his son wanted to be like him. For the longest time he assumed he would never have children. He had always been cautious about love, especially after Rahna spurned him. He had only been with a few women and none of them had he loved as much as Tara. He would have never broken the rules for anyone else but her. With Tara his dreams for a future had been sparked back to life. After she died, his world shattered around him and his dreams died with her. He knew he would never want a family with anyone else and had even told his parents that there was no one else in the galaxy for him except his Shepard. But fate, or divinity, brought her back to him and with her the chance to be a father. It was the most amazing feeling in the universe to look down at his son and see the admiration in the boy's eyes.

"You are already a better biotic than me." The boy grinned up at him, flushing at the praise. Matthew's stomach growled so Kaidan led them to the elevator to get them both some lunch. Once inside Kaidan was about to hit the crew deck but EDI intercepted him.

"Major Alenko, you are needed in the cockpit immediately."

"What's going on, EDI?" He asked the AI, out of curiosity. If Joker broke something technical again Kaidan would wring the pilot's neck. EDI did not respond and Kaidan knew that meant trouble.

_Fifteen minutes earlier_

Tara exited the elevator on deck 2 and made her way towards the front of the ship. Traynor was not at her station which Tara found odd as the younger woman rarely left her post while on duty. Tara soon noticed that almost the entire deck was empty, but she was not fazed by it. The ship had docked on the Citadel thirty minutes ago and Tara assumed that most of the crew had left to take advantage of the short time off. As she approached the airlock she came upon Tali and Garrus arguing.

"We can't let her go out there," she heard Garrus say as she came up behind them.

"What's going on?" She asked, but both them looked away sheepishly. Tara raised an eyebrow, slightly concerned.

"Have you seen the news this morning?" Tali prodded her in a timid voice.

"No, I have not," she replied giving them both a quizzical look. Her omni-tool beeped reminding her of the appointment she had with the asari councilor. "I actually need to meet with Councilor Tevos soon so I'll check out the news later." Garrus moved to intercept her and blocked her path.

"Can't the meeting wait?"

"No, the councilor has information that might relate to the Catalyst. Which is kind of a big deal, in case you forgot." Tara couldn't understand what had gotten into him.

"I'm sure the councilor can meet with you later. We are here for twenty four hours so you have plenty of time." Tara tried to walk around him but he was bigger than her so it proved too difficult.

"Garrus, what is wrong with you? This is important!" Tali gently took Tara's arm and attempted to pull her away from the airlock.

"Shepard, there is something you should know..." Tali started to explain but was interrupted by the cockpit door opening.

"Commander!" Joker called out to Tara. "You need to see this." The cock pit was full of crew members including Traynor and Liara. The people parted as Tara made her way through to see what Joker was talking about. He had the vid screen on a news station and the reporter, Dalia Weston, was giving the latest report.

"Have you seen this boy?" The reporter asked the audience. A picture of Matthew appeared on the screen and Tara fell into the nearest seat. "If you have then you were fortunate enough to get a glimpse of the love child between humanity's only Spectres, Commander Tara Shepard and Major Kaidan Alenko." A humiliating blush spread up her cheeks and she felt all eyes fall on her.

"This beautiful little boy was born a short time after the Battle of the Citadel and kept hidden from the rest of the galaxy. Why, do you ask? When Commander Shepard was first made Spectre she was Alenko's superior officer and due to the Alliance's strict fraternization regulations the star crossed lovers had to keep their affair a secret. But not even the "savior of the galaxy" could hide her illegitimate son forever. Perhaps it is because of the war but Commander Shepard has finally brought her son out of the hiding he has been in for the past three years and is now traveling with her aboard the Normandy."

Liara quietly ushered everyone out of the cockpit expect for her, Tali, Garrus, EDI and Joker. Tara laid her head in her hands as the reporter drawled on about her and Kaidan's relationship and the possibility of her son's previous hidden location. Every word felt like a punch to the gut and with each accusation her hole was getting bigger and bigger. She did not think she could climb out of this trouble. The reporter's last words brought back the spark of anger that had been buried beneath the humiliation and embarrassment.

"It has become increasingly obvious that Commander Shepard is not capable of following even the simplest of rules. Can we trust a woman, who cares for nothing but her own lustful desires, to lead us to victory? I think not. I am Dalia Weston and this has been Citadel Insider, have a great day." A wild rage burned bright and if looks could kill, Dalia would be dead ten times over._ How dare she criticize me when I have sacrificed more for this galaxy then anyone combined?! _

"They have been playing this on a loop all morning," Joker explained but Tara did not reply. Her burning gaze was focused on the vid screen which had already restarted the video.

Garrus cleared his throat, looking as awkward as everyone else felt. No one knew what to say to their Commander. Liara finally broke the silence.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard." She patted her friend on the shoulder. "I have no idea how they found about you two." Tara glanced at her in surprise.

"You knew?" Liara nodded gently.

"I am the Shadow Broker after all." Tara glanced at all of her companions.

"Did all of you know?" The others glanced away, only EDI met her gaze. "I'll take that as a yes, then." She fiddled with her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry about this."

"Shepard, you have nothing to apologize for." Tali interjected. "None of us cared about it. I always thought it was kind of cute."

"When did you find out?" She asked everyone present.

"We all suspected during the search for Saren," Garrus explained to her. "We knew for sure after…Horizon." Tara nodded remembering the words that spilled out of Kaidan's mouth. _I loved you. How could you do this to me?_ Her own replies had only strengthened their suspicions she was sure. Not to mention the weeks of moodiness that possessed her after he left on Horizon. They were not as secretive as she had hoped.

"How could that bitch have found out?" Tara exclaimed, furious. "If Allers did it I will kick her out the airlock myself!"

"It is unlikely that Allers is responsible." EDI turned to the commander. "I have monitored all of the incoming and outgoing calls and messages from Allers to ensure she does not give away classified information. She has not said anything about you and Major Alenko personally, aside from what you have accomplished on missions."

"Who else would know? Or say anything?"

"No one on this ship would betray you or him," Liara reassured her. Joker spun his chair around to face them.

"This has the Illusive Man's dirty hands all over it."

"Jeff is most likely correct." EDI pulled up a file on her console and Tara recognized the Lazarus Project information. "You were pregnant during the project and DNA was taken from the fetus to determine if there were any illnesses our diseases to be aware of. The scientists also did a paternity test and gave the results to the Illusive Man."

"So he knew the whole time?"

"That is correct, Shepard."

"But why wait until now to tell everyone?"

"It is probably because you kept him from getting Matthew back." Tali suggested and everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Or it was an effort to keep you from discovering the what the Catalyst is," Liara observed.

Boots sounded on the metal as the cockpit door opened and Kaidan and Matthew stepped through. Their clothes were matted with sweat from the biotic workout.

"What's going on?" Kaidan asked her, stepping over to her side. "EDI told me I was needed up here." Tara merely pointed to the screen. Kaidan watched the broadcast, eyes widened and his jaw tensed. He clenched and unclenched his hands, in an obvious effort to control his rage. Just the tiniest hint of blue energy appeared around the balled up fists. Matthew's jaw had dropped and though he didn't understand everything the reporter said he knew the woman was bad mouthing his parents and that upset him. Upon Dalia's last sentences Kaidan cursed loudly, briefly covering Matthew's ears so he could not hear him.

"I didn't tell anyone!" Matthew shouted earnestly to his mother, hoping she would see he wasn't lying.

"I know you didn't, Sweetheart." Tara reassured him, stroking his curls softly. Kaidan looked down at Tara.

"Are you ok?" She nodded slightly.

"We think it was Cerberus," Liara informed him, he was not surprised. He took the seat next to Tara.

"Whatever you need me to say or do I will. I will shout my love from the top of the Citadel if that's what you want." Tara blushed and smiled gratefully; he took her hands in his and squeezed them tightly. "I don't care that everyone knows, I love you and that is what matters." Kaidan placed his calloused palm on her cheek and she leaned into his touch.

"There are a lot of people out there!" Matthew exclaimed from the Joker's side of the ship. The others went over to join him and saw dozens and dozens of reporters and journalists clawing their way to get as close to the Normandy's dock as possible. Tara looked over her shoulder at Garrus.

"Is that why you wouldn't let me leave?" Garrus nodded.

"I figured you should know what was going on before you walked out into that mess." Tara murmured her thanks and looked back out the window. She was surprised to see Commander Bailey wander through to the front of the crowd. The video playing on the vid-screen stopped and turned into a live broadcast coming from right outside the Normandy's airlock.

"Look, it's Bailey." Joker pointed to the screen, which was now playing live coverage of the scene outside. They all watched as Bailey stood in front of the crowd, two C-Sec officers flanked him. Lights flashed and reporters rushed in to get to him first.

"Commander, does the Council have a statement on the Shenko affair?"

Tara looked at Kaidan. "What the hell is a 'Shenko'?" He shrugged, just as confused as she was and turned back to the broadcast.

"Yes they do." Bailey stated. He cleared his throat before continuing. "The council does not see this matter as any of their concern. They do not prohibit personal relationships between their agents. They simply instruct each agent to use their best judgment. As long as the mission is completed the council chooses to stay out of unimportant issues that have nothing to do with them."

"Are you saying that the council has no intentions of revoking either Spectre status?" Dalia Weston asked appearing out of the crowd.

"No. As I stated, the council has no reason to get involved." Bailey glared angrily at the large crowd. "I would like to make a personal statement, not in any way affiliated with the council's opinions." The mass of reporters quieted quickly, eager to hear what the Commander had to say.

"I am honored to say I know both Commander Shepard and Major Alenko. They and their team have saved this galaxy multiple times and Shepard has saved my life personally. I am in her debt. We all are. This galaxy owes her a debt they can never repay. Each day her and her team are risking their lives to stop the Reapers and save all of your sorry asses! And yet you sit here and slander her name and invade her personal life when everything she does is to help you! I am grateful for what they do and as far as I am concerned this is none of my business. Or yours. Good luck to you Shepard and Alenko and congratulations on your son. I wish you the best." With that he walked back through the stunned-silent crowd. No one tried to stop him, no one moved. The silence continued for several minutes before one by one they began to leave. Soon the docking bay was completely clear of reporters, even Dalia Weston left after she realized no one else cared. Tara reminded herself to thank Bailey the next time she saw him.

"Commander, Admiral Hackett and Admiral Anderson are on vid-comm. They wish to speak to you immediately," Traynor announced over the intercom. Tara groaned and palmed her face. _Shit they are going to hand my ass to me on a silver platter._ Tara slowly got up and the others watched with solemn gazes as she walked out the cockpit to the War Room. Kaidan followed her, intent on supporting her every step of the way. Tara approached the comm. room, nervous and worried. Kaidan leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

"You don't have to go in there with me, Kaidan."

"I know," he replied with a smile and led the way to the comm. The two admirals seemed surprised to see him with her but they did not comment on it, both received a formal greeting.

"Have you seen the news, Commander?" Hackett asked her, his tone like ice.

"I have, Sir."

"And? Is it true?" Tara spared a glance at Kaidan, unsure of what he wanted her to say. Lying to the two highest ranking officials in the Alliance would bring on serious repercussions for both of them. Kaidan stepped forward, surprising her.

"It is true, Sir." He stood up straight in perfect military form. There was no shame in his handsome features. Tara realized that he truly did not care that the whole galaxy knew about them. He was with her for the long haul and the love she held for him grew that much more. Tara stood by his side, intimating the same look of love and pride that he had.

Anderson whistled low and shook his head, though Tara caught a tiny smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Hackett did not look pleased.

"Fraternization is against regulations and you have seen the reason for that earlier," he exclaimed, referring to the news broadcasts that had been watching. "I find it very hard to believe that you two would be so irresponsible."

"They say love is blind, Sir." Tara retorted softly and Kaidan had to suppress a laugh when Hackett actually rolled his eyes. Anderson faked a cough to hide his chuckle.

"Don't feed me that bull shit. You both know better." Hackett looked at Anderson for support.

"What do you think?" Anderson shrugged nonchalantly. He studied Tara and Kaidan for a moment before responding.

"Right now the only thing I care about is destroying the Reapers. Your personal lives are not my priority."

Hackett nodded though he did not look happy about his oldest friend's response. "You make a good point." He turned his glare back to the younger soldiers. "Technically, as Council Spectres you can do whatever you want with _whoever_ you want. But you are still Alliance soldiers and I expect you to act as such. The last thing we need is a scandal to distract us from fighting the Reapers."

"Are you going to reassign me, Sir?" Kaidan asked, praying that the answer was no. Hackett did not answer right away, taking his time to make a decision. Tara put on her most stoic face, preparing for the worst.

"Shepard has a lot on her plate right now and she needs the best people helping her. You are one of the best and despite your 'relationship' you both have done a damn good job of fighting the Reapers so far. As long as this does not become an issue with your mission then no, I won't reassign you."

"Thank you, Sir." Tara and Kaidan both replied. Hackett nodded, his glare softening some.

"One more thing, Commander." Tara held her breath. "If you manage to save us all, you two can have seven kids and I promise the Alliance will not say a word." Tara nodded at him, grinning.

"Aye, aye, Sir!" Tara and Kaidan saluted him before he signed off leaving them with Anderson.

"Congratulations you two." Anderson smiled with pride. "I hope I can meet your son when this blasted war is over." Tara nodded at the man she considered a father-figure.

"That would be great, Anderson." He tilted his cap to them and signed off. Kaidan pulled her into a warm embrace, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Everything is going to be ok," he mumbled into her hair. Tara breathed in the masculine and musky scent that was his alone. She gripped the back of his shirt, pulling him as close as he could get.

"I love you, Kaidan." He pulled away just enough to press his lips to hers. Her hands wandered through his hair as his traveled to palm her lower back. Tara moaned softly into his mouth and that encouraged him even more. Pressing her against the wall of the comm. room he tore his lips away and seared them to the smooth white span of her neck. Sucking gently on the soft skin, his hands traveled down her sides to firmly grasp her waist. She pulled him tightly, molding their bodies together, heat overwhelming them. They were allowed to stay together and Tara could not be happier.

"Eww!" Kaidan and Tara jumped apart to see Matthew standing in the entrance of the room, his face crinkled in disgust.

"Sorry buddy, we didn't see you there." Kaidan ruffled his son's hair, moving out of the room.

"Are you guys in trouble?" Matthew was concerned for his parents, remembering what Tara had told him before she brought him aboard the Normandy. Tara picked him up, kissing his cheek lightly.

"Not at all," she informed him, relieving his concern.

"So I get to stay with you guys?"

"Forever and ever," Kaidan told him. Matthew threw his arms around his mother's neck, pressing his cheek against hers. Kaidan marveled at the sight of his beloved and their child, and felt immense gratitude for the chance he had been given to have them again. Whoever was watching them from above had his sincerest thanks.

**Just a little fluff to tide you over. Next stop, Thessia :( Hope you liked this chapter. Please R & R, they are always appreciated.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Much of the dialogue comes from the game, all credit goes to Bioware.**

Chapter 12: The Last Defeat

Councilor Tevos instructed Shepard to search the asari temple for Athame on Thessia to find more information on the Catalyst. Shepard hoped this was not going to be another wild goose chase. The councilor refused to say what was in the temple, insisting that Shepard should "see for herself." The Reapers were invading more and more planets and the Alliance was running out of time. They had no choice but to investigate the temple. Shepard walked out of the War Room after speaking to Hackett about her upcoming assignment. He informed her that the Crucible was almost completely built and they were just waiting on the Catalyst to make it work. Hackett and many others shared Shepard's concern about the unknown weapon. Nobody knew what kind of damage it could deal and it if would wipe them out as well as the Reapers. It was a shame Javik had not been a scientist in his time; his assistance could have been invaluable.

"Commander, Thessia is under heavy Reaper attack!" Joker announced over the speakers. "There is activity across most of the planet." _Shit we are too late._

"What about the temple? Can you raise the scientists?" Shepard stepped into the elevator, Liara right on her heels.

"Negative, communication is all scrambled. This mission is looking real dicey."

"It's now or never, Joker. We need to get down there."

"Shepard, that is my home down there." Liara's eyes were widened, anxiety surrounded her. "I have to go down there." Shepard hesitated. Liara was a valuable asset but these were her people dying on the planet, Shepard did not need a team member that was emotionally compromised.

"Please, Shepard."

After a moment Shepard nodded and they exited the elevator on the shuttle bay. She radioed Javik and Kaidan to suit up. Within minutes Cortez was flying them down to the burning planet below.

Liara's gaze never left the view screen during most of the shuttle ride. She was able to give only a little information on the temple. "It is surprising well classified and has government funding," Liara explained. Her light blue skin paled as another Reaper landed on the screen. Turning to Shepard she asked with desperation, "What if we are too late? Those are my people dying down there!"

Javik snorted, or what Shepard assumed was a snort, and addressed Liara. "Your empathy makes you weak. You must numb yourself to loss." Liara sat back in her seat, trying not to cry.

"Back off, Javik," Shepard whispered furiously to the prothean, he returned her glare evenly without backing down. Kaidan stepped up to Liara and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You said your mom brought you to the temple?" He asked her gently.

"Yes, when I was a child." Liara opened her omni-tool, displaying a picture of Benezia. "I think there was more to the trips than a simple history lesson."

"What do you mean?" Kaidan prodded further. Javik turned away, pacing about the shuttle.

"I went digging through her old files. She had heavily encrypted records on this temple, some centuries old. I haven't been able to crack most of them. Whatever is down there, it is well hidden."

"Sounds like we are on the right track," Shepard commented. Javik approached Liara.

"I've studied your old mission reports. Your mother was indoctrinated." Liara bowed her head, shame crept up her cheeks. Shepard empathized with Liara, remembering how difficult it was for the young asari to fight her own mother.

"Yes, we had to kill her."

"Yet it did not stop you from fighting. As I said, steel yourself. Many more lives will be lost." Kaidan glared angrily at Javik and Shepard started to do the same. She knew the prothean was right, the death toll was going to get worse before the war was over but it was the last thing Liara needed to hear right now. Shepard sat down next to her hurting friend.

"We can't ignore that people are dying," she wrapped an arm around Liara's shoulders and sent Javik a pointed look. "The Reapers may not have mercy, but we do."

"It is their indifference that gives them power," Javik retorted.

"Then let's show them there is another way to win."

Cortez landed the shuttle and all four team members jumped out, guns blazing. The fight for Thessia had begun.

Shepard and the others had to carve a path to the temple through mass amount of Reaper forces. Husks and Cannibals attacked with a new found ferocity while leaving the Marauders to fire from cover. Shepard was grateful that her team was full of biotics. Her precise shots took care of the close range enemies leaving Kaidan and Javik to handle the protected Reapers. Her concern for Liara shot up drastically. The asari was all over the place, her fury taking control of every movement she made and every shot she took.

After the last round of enemies had been dealt with Javik rounded on Liara, snarling. "You are going to get yourself killed with your reckless behavior!" Liara stepped back, startled by the uncommon display of aggressive concern by the typically indifferent prothean. Her lip quivered slightly and she turned to Shepard.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, wiping the sweat off her brow. Shepard took her aside, a short distance away from the men.

"Are you sure you can do this, Liara? I need you at your best right now if we are going to get to the temple."

"I can do this, Shepard." Her posture straightened and a determination settled in her eyes. "I have to do this." Shepard nodded, leading Liara back to the group.

Reaching the temple took longer than expected, the Reaper forces seemed intent on stopping them at every turn. The temple was deserted when they finally arrived. Not even Reapers were in the area.

"Hello?" Liara called out. "Is anyone there?" There was no reply. Shepard stepped in cautiously, Kaidan at her flank. Liara walked ahead of them, scanning for the asari guides that were supposed to meet them.

"Something is wrong. Your scientists should be here," Javik pointed out.

"Maybe the Reapers got them," Kaidan suggested from his spot near a large shield artifact.

"Let's take a look around. Maybe one of these artifacts is what we need," Shepard gestured to the cases decorating the open room. Liara walked them through each artifact, explaining the significance of each one. Shepard was not the only one who noticed that the goddess Athame sounded more and more like a prothean, so did her guides Janiri and Lucen. And Javik was quick on pointing this out at each stop. Shepard could see that Liara was struggling with her temper as Javik commented that asari biotics came from protheans' years of genetic research.

"Athame was a prothean watching the asari grow," Javik stepped next to Liara. "Why can you not see that as the truth?"

"You don't know that!" Liara snapped back, stalking away from the old warrior. Kaidan knelt down next to several bodies.

"It's the scientists." He pointed to their wounds. "Their throats were slit; I doubt the Reapers did this." Shepard walked up to the massive statue in the back of the temple. She craned her neck to see the face of what she assumed was an asari.

"Who is this?" She asked, glancing at Liara.

"That is the goddess Athame. Her image became more like ours over time." Liara's voice faded as Shepard drew closer to the statue. A powerful surge sent ingles up her spine. There was more here then what was on display.

"You mean your ancestors tried to hide the truth," Javik retorted, chuckling at Liara's scowl.

"I'm still not willing to believe any of that is truth."

Kaidan rejoined the group. "It does seem pretty reasonable to me. That asari looks a lot like a prothean." Kaidan pointed to Athame.

"How do you explain why Athame speaks prothean?" Javik looked around, suddenly alert. "There is something here, I can sense it."

"There is a prothean beacon here," Shepard spoke up. Liara came to her side.

"Are you sure?" Shepard nodded.

"It's not something you forget."

Kaidan snorted in the background, "No kidding."

Liara glanced around, brows furrowed. "But why would they hide it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Javik looked out at the battlefield of Thessia. "Power and Influence. Your people are hoarding the knowledge of my race for their own gain." Liara shook her head vigorously.

"I can't believe my people would keep this a secret."

"A beacon like this could explain why the asari are so advanced," Kaidan pointed out while examining the statue for a way to break through it.

Javik nodded in agreement. "This temple is thousands of years old. Time enough to make serious progress." Shepard contained the fury she felt rising. If the asari had just shared the beacon then the whole Reaper war might have been avoided. Liara continued to argue on behalf of her people and it took all Shepard was not to snap at her friend. She calmed herself and remembered that Liara was as much in the dark as the rest of them. The asari government was to blame, not Liara. Shepard couldn't resist a snarky remark however.

"The asari should have shared this knowledge. We might not have been in this mess if they had."

"You don't know that, Shepard," Liara said quietly. "We don't know what's going on here."

"I know we don't have much time," the Commander stated. "Let's check the artifacts to see if they can help us activate the beacon." Sure enough some of the artifacts produced a signal that shot a beam to the statue. Liara and Javik were still quarreling as Shepard and Kaidan searched the artifacts.

"This confirms the asari owe your superiority to my people." Javik was just trying to irk Liara and it was working. She spun on her heels coming face to face with the ancient warrior.

"And you owe the Mass Effect relays to the Reapers. How did that work out?"

Javik's mouth twitched upwards. "So you do bite. Good. I like that." Shepard and Kaidan locked eyes before turning around to stare at Javik. He realized what he said and stalked off mumbling, "what are we wasting time for? We need one more artifact." Liara shrugged but smiled to herself. His icy demeanor was finally starting to crack. They found the last artifact and the statue crumbled around them, revealing the prothean beacon.

A green drone shot out, scanning the area. It studied the battle outside the temple before returning to the group.

"Reaper presence detected. This galactic cycle has already reached its extinction terminus. Shutting down systems." Shepard panicked. They needed this data.

"Hold on! We need answers. We need to know what the Catalyst is to finish the Crucible."

The VI materialized into the form of a prothean though this one was clearer than the one on Illos. "The project Crucible was headed by my creator Pashek Vran who died in the battle of Tranbir Nine. Your time is also at an end."

"So the protheans had the Crucible? Why didn't they deploy it?"

"We were sabotaged from within. A group we later found out was indoctrinated argued that we should dominate the Reapers rather than destroy them."

"Sounds familiar," Kaidan quirked.

"And now we are facing the same problem." Shepard grimaced as she noticed an explosion off in the distance. "But there is still hope for this cycle. We need to know what the Catalyst is. Trillions of lives are at risk."

The VI eyed her evenly. "Trillions of lives are always at risk. But if the Reapers have arrived to end your cycle, this discussion is too late."

"We can break the cycle! We are almost done with the Crucible now."

"The Crucible is the work of countless galactic cycles tracing back millions of years. Each cycle adds to it but none have defeated the Reapers with it."

"Then we _will_ be the first. Tell us what the Catalyst is." The VI looked as if it would tell her but it suddenly transformed back into the drone shape and shot back to the statue.

"Indoctrinated presence detected. Activating security protocol."

"Someone's coming!" Kaidan shouted; pistol aimed at the approaching figure. Kei Leng sauntered into view; a gunship appeared in the background. Shepard took point beside Kaidan as the others joined them, guns drawn.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Shepard shouted at the Cerberus agent, though she already knew the answer.

"Someone would like to speak to you." A small drone flew out of Leng's hand stopping in front of Shepard. The Illusive Man materialized before her, a cigarette in his hand.

"Shepard." The commander scowled fiercely, eyeing Leng from across the room.

"How did you find this place?"

"The archives on Mars. Or did the Shadow Broker miss that one?" Liara stepped forward.

"Show yourself. I promise I won't miss."

The Illusive Man walked through Shepard and approached the newly found beacon.

"Stick to your talents, Dr. T'soni. You've helped uncover the key to subjugating the Reapers."

Shepard growled low in her throat, stalking off to face her nemesis.

"You cannot control the Reapers! You are wasting your time when you should be trying to help us stop them. The Reapers will never be controlled." The hologram studied her evenly, tilting his head.

"With your son we have a good chance." Shepard itched to strangle the man before her.

"You soulless bastard!" She snarled, inching closer to stare him in the eyes. "You took my son away from me and used him as some kind of biotic experiment and you think I'm going to let you use him again? You have lost your mind."

"I saved your child," his tone grew agitated as it often did when talking to Shepard. "If it hadn't been for me, you and your son would be nothing but a frozen corpse on Alchera."

"That doesn't give you the right to take him and not tell me that my child survived."

"If I had told you he would have been a distraction and we needed you focused on fighting the Collectors." Shepard spun around and stalked back towards Leng, her pistol trained on him.

"Enough talk. You kidnapped my son and when you couldn't get him back you exposed my personal life for the whole galaxy to see. I will not help you." The hologram followed her closely, coming to stand between her and Kaidan.

"That boy has amazing potential; unlike any biotic I have ever seen. He was able to control the adjutants without any struggle. He can help us to control the Reapers." Shepard ignored him, her fingers gripped the trigger. He faced Kaidan to make another appeal.

"You are a biotic too. Don't you realize that your son would be seen as a hero if he helped us? Human biotics would no longer be seen as freaks. Don't you want him to grow up in a universe where he is not judged for being more powerful than everyone else?" Kaidan's face was alive with rage; his own biotics bathed him in the familiar electric glow.

"Go to hell," was Kaidan's only reply, before returning his attention back at Leng. The Illusive Man scowled and moved to the beacon.

"Damn it, Shepard! Destroying the Reapers gains us nothing."

"This isn't about what we gain," Shepard argued, looking over her shoulder at him. "The Reapers are slaughtering us by the millions every day. We _can _destroy them and we are wasting time by fighting each other."

"They are just trying to control us. Think about it, if they wanted all organic life destroyed they could do it. There would be nothing left."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know them, Shepard. I know how they think." The look in his eyes immediately reminded her of Saren after he accepted Sovereign's implants.

"I think you have gotten too close to the enemy. They are dragging you over to their side, to their way of thinking." He did not reply, choosing to gaze out at the warzone instead. Shepard walked over to him, to make one last appeal.

"If you truly care about humanity, you'll stop fighting me. You'll join me." He nodded and Shepard felt a spark of hope. The Illusive Man brushed past her and rejoined Leng.

"Leng, the Commander has something I need. Please relieve her of it." With that he dissolved back into the drone and flew into Leng's hands. Shepard sighed, feeling pity for the Illusive Man, he was indoctrinated; there was no longer any doubt of that. Leng brandished his sword, dropping into an attack stance. Kaidan Pushed out at Leng, knocking the man back slightly but he managed to stay on his feet. Shepard fired several rounds but Leng's barrier was near infallible.

"Kaidan! Hack his barrier!" Shepard ordered and the Major overloaded the barrier with his omni-tool but was only able to get it down for several brief seconds. It was just enough. Liara and Javik provided cover fire while Shepard moved in closer. She reloaded and emptied her clip into Leng, hitting him in the arm twice. He dropped his sword before the barrier was back up. Her confidence grew and she knew he would be unable to stop all four of them with just his gun. Leng stood shakily and activated his comm.

"Target the supports." The gunship reappeared and fired two missiles into the temple. The resounding explosion sent the team flying backwards, Sheppard knocked her head into a pillar. Concrete fell in chunks as Leng walked to the beacon and downloaded its information. Shepard leapt up, racing towards him in a dizzy haze. The head wounds were getting old. A pillar began to fall and Shepard had to roll out of the way to avoid it collapsing on her. The pillar landed in a loud crash and shattered the floor under it, sending Shepard flailing down to the caverns housing the prothean beacon below the temple. She gripped onto a ledge and hung on tightly, calling out for help. Kaidan appeared at the top and dropped down to a lower ledge to reach her. Her fingers began to slip.

"Shepard, hang on!" He reached out his hand and took hold of her arm using his impressive strength to pull her up in one jerk. They both took after Leng but he had already entered the gunship. She fired pointlessly at the ship watching in despair as he sped off in the distance. Three more Reapers landed in view and all around her she could hear the dying screams of asari through the comm. Cortez landed the shuttle and the team walked to it with downtrodden steps. Thessia had fallen.

* * *

Tara walked out of the comm. room after her brief interview with Councilor Tevos. Naturally the councilor was devastated to hear the news and hung up before Tara could offer an apology. EDI approached her.

"Asari forces are in full retreat. It is no longer safe for us to remain in this system." Tara glanced at Liara who was biting her lip in an effort to hold back the tears. Tara didn't want to abandon the asari down below but they had little choice now.

"Get us out here," Tara instructed as she walked over to the center console. Liara came up next to her.

"Shepard," her voice cracked slightly. "No one could have known Cerberus would get there before us." Tara's frown deepened and she shook her head.

"It is my job to be prepared, no matter what." She looked around at each of the team members that had gathered. "I am sick of Cerberus beating us to the punch. We need to find out where they are and take the fight to them!" Heads nodded and sounds of approval echoed the room. Traynor stepped forward.

"I was able to track Leng's shuttle through the relay to the Lera system but his signal is being actively blocked."

"What is in the Lera system that is causing this?" Tara asked but Traynor just shrugged.

"I did not find anything significant. Horizon is the only habitable planet in that region."

Kaidan came up to Shepard. "I was stationed on Horizon-"

"We remember," Garrus interrupted, receiving several quiet chuckles in response. Kaidan rolled his eyes and continued.

"You guys were the only Cerberus presence while I was there. I wonder what they are doing now."

"What about Sanctuary?" A childish voice sounded over the speaker. The vid comm. came on with Joker sitting in his chair and Matthew just barely appearing into the feed.

"Sanctuary is supposed to be a safe haven for war refugees," EDI supplied. Tara looked up at the feed, addressing her son.

"How do you know about Sanctuary?"

"The Illusive Man said he wanted me to go there after Omega."

"Do you know why?" Kaidan asked Matthew.

"The scientists said my biotics might work there too." Tara and Kaidan exchanged glances.

"The Illusive Man told us that Matthew was the key to controlling the Reapers maybe they are doing similar experiments on Horizon like they did on Omega," Kaidan reasoned.

"Either way we need that data and I am not letting Cerberus get ahead of us again. Set a course for Horizon," Shepard instructed Joker. He nodded before switching off the comm. The team was dismissed and Tara made her way to cockpit to check on her pilot. The door opened and Joker spun around to greet her.

"Guess the asari are wishing they had fewer dancers and more commandos right about now." It took everything Tara had not to rip him a new one. She patted Matthew on the head and asked him to go play so she could speak to Joker privately. Once he was gone she rounded on the pilot.

"In case you didn't look out the window the whole time we were on Thessia, we just lost a few million people," Tara snapped, her eyes narrowed. "Now is not the time for jokes."

Joker spun around to face the console and pulled up a small planet on his screen. "You see this colony?" He glanced over his shoulder. "It's called Tiptree, out in the ass-end of nowhere. My dad and sister live there. The Reapers rolled in about a week ago." His chair spun around again. Next to him EDI spared a concerned glance in their direction.

"You can generally assume that I'm aware there is a war on."

Tara's features softened. It was obvious that Joker was very concerned about his family.

"So why the jokes?"

"EDI says that you are under more stress now then during the Skyllian Blitz. More than even Elysium. And the last time I talked to Anderson, he told me to take care of you." That surprised Tara. Anderson had more than enough to be concerned about than her well being. Joker seemed to agree with her.

"The guy leading the resistance on Earth is worried about you. And he expects me to help."

Tara shook her head. "I appreciate the thought Joker but I am fine."

"The hell you are!" Joker snapped, stunning Tara and EDI both. He lowered his voice quickly, "You're like half robot at this point and it's all my fault. You died because I wouldn't leave. You died saving me."

"I couldn't leave you behind," Tara stated simply, as if that explained everything.

"Maybe you should have." He held up a hand to stop her from interrupting. "If you had gotten on the escape pod instead of coming after me then maybe the Reapers would have been stopped by now. You would have had Matthew from the beginning and he never would have been in the hands of Cerberus."

He paused briefly, struggling with his words. "If you had not died then Kaidan would have never hated me. And you two would probably be married by now. By killing you I ruined everything."

Tara stood right in front of him, forcing him to make eye contact.

"You did not kill me. That attack was _not_ your fault, it was the Collectors. You did everything you could to save us and the ship." Joker shrugged away but Tara turned the chair back to face her. "I will not _ever_ leave one of my crew behind for any reason. It is time for all of us to move on, to forgive and forget. Including you Joker." He stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Aye aye, Commander." Tara smiled in satisfaction. It was a major step in the right direction. Now was the time for healing, while they still had the chance.

"Commander, you may want to check in on Javik," EDI suggested. "He and Liara are having a…lively discussion." That meant there was going to be a fight. Tara had dealt with angry biotics several times during her mission as a Cerberus agent. Miranda and Jack had more than one _debate_ that almost ended with detached body parts and bloody walls.

"Thanks EDI, I'll head down there now."

A small crowd had gathered outside of Javik's door with Kaidan and Adams barely keeping them from breaking down the door in hopes of seeing a biotic fight.

"Everyone back to your stations," Kaidan commanded, his stern tone startling the crowd and they left, sulking back to their posts.

"Thank you, Kaidan. I can handle it from here." Tara entered the room and found herself in the middle of a heated battle of anger and pride.

"Those were all lies back there!"Liara screamed at the prothean, her hands shook wildly.

"They were not," Javik replied steadily, his stance one of stubbornness but he did not appear agitated by her furious manner.

"My people were not animals for your kind to experiment on!"

"You wanted to know more about your history, asari. Now you do."

Liara lit up like a blue Christmas tree. "My. Name. Is. Liara," she snarled, stepping forward menacingly. Tara reached for her and pulled Liara back to her side.

"Calm down! Both of you," she glanced at Javik to let him know she was including him.

"My home was just destroyed and all he can do is gloat," Liara's voice cracked, several tears escaped their prison and streamed down her cheeks.

"Javik…" Tara pleaded, silently begging the warrior to step in and apologize.

"I have done nothing wrong."

"You didn't do anything?! You didn't do enough!" Liara broke away from Tara and stormed up to Javik. "You are a prothean; you were supposed to have all the answers. You were supposed to stop this from happening."

"We believed you would," Javik responded quietly. "Long ago we saw the potential in your people, the wisdom, the patience. You were the best hope for this cycle. So the asari were…guided, when necessary."

Liara huffed, "Well it didn't work."

"You are still alive are you not?" He tentatively placed a hand on her forearm. "Your world may have fallen but as long as even one asari still stands, the fight is not over."

Her eyes brightened, as the tears began to fade. "I guess that goes for protheans too."

"Despair is the enemy's greatest weapon. Do not let them wield it…Liara." The young asari smiled her thanks and turned to leave, nodding at Tara before exiting the room.

"Thank you, she needed to hear that," Tara offered her gratitude to Javik who shrugged it off.

"As long as she believes this war can be won, she will keep fighting. That she retains her will to live and succeed; that is what matters most, Commander." Javik looks over at her in almost an afterthought. "You may still want to make sure that she is ok." Tara nodded and followed her friend's path to the elevator, mulling over Javik's new found concern for Liara. Kaidan watched her walk away, as if every step was more painful than the last. He resolved to finish his work quickly, Tara needed him, even if she wouldn't admit it.

Tara collapsed onto the bed, not even bothering to take off her boots. Her talk with Liara had been productive and encouraging. The Shadow Broker was now back to work, assisting with the refugees and whatever else it was that a shadow broker does. Tara knew the pain would not fade anytime soon but Liara was strong and the asari would triumph over the despair. However Tara doubted the same could be said of herself.

She buried her face in Kaidan's pillow and inhaled his scent, allowing it to temporarily soothe her. Kaidan was still on duty assisting Adams in engineering. Tara was glad that he was not here to see her break. The screams of agony, the echoes of Reapers demolishing everything in their path, all of the fall assaulted her now and she could not block out the images. Her body shook and she squeezed her eyes in an effort to hold back the flood of anguish but several tears break through; a miserable attempt at being strong.

The councilor had been devastated, Hackett was disappointed and Liara was crushed. Tara tried to be strong for all of them but the burden had become too heavy to bear. The defeat was a slap in the face, a cruel mockery of her attempt at peace. Silent sobs racked her whole body; she was unable to hold back anymore. Millions upon millions of people relied on her. They expected her to save them all but she couldn't even stop Cerberus. How did they expect her to stop the Reapers? Was she just struggling against the inevitable? She fought to catch her breath, to slow the streams down her face, but to no avail.

The door opened letting in a little light on the darkened room. Heavy boots struck the floor as they approached her bed. Tara wiped her eyes, trying to hide her shame. Tender lips pressed against her forehead as strong arms gathered her against a muscular chest. She opened her eyes to see Kaidan gazing into her blue depths.

"It was not your fault, Tara." The screams of the dead flooded her ears, arguing against her supposed innocence. She shook her head and tried to squirm out of Kaidan's grasp but he only held her tighter. Her own strength was no match for his and eventually she allowed him to comfort her as the shaking subsided.

"I love you and I believe in you. No matter how many times you fall I will always be there to catch you." He kissed her lips before pressing her head back to his chest. "Cerberus will be defeated. The Reapers will be destroyed. You can count on it."

"Thank you," she whispered meekly, allowing him to lay them both down on the bed. She hugged him as if she believed him and for now that would have to be enough. He believed in her even if she did not believe in herself.

**I know that we have all played the games and I often debate on whether or not to add scenes and dialogue from the actual missions. In this chapter I felt that what was said between the characters in the Thessia mission both during and after were very important to the game so I saw the need to add them. I will try to not write word for word what is in the game but sometimes it is necessary. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas that they would like to see implemented please let me know.**

**And I do apologize for taking so long to post this. I just lost my grandfather to cancer so it has been a rough couple of weeks. But I promise the next chapter will not take as long, hopefully by the end of the week. Please R and R, it is always appreciated.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I took a very small bit of the dialogue and the cooking scene from the new Citadel dlc. So spoiler alert if you have not played the dlc yet.**

**Chapter 13: A Toast to Our Fathers**

"Shepard!" Miranda called out from her position behind a desk. Blood soaked her uniform from a stab wound in her side. Shepard aimed her pistol at the man across from her. She recognized Henry Lawson from the holo feeds they had seen during their trek through the underground Cerberus base. His arm was wrapped around Oriana's throat.

"Put the gun down, Lawson," Shepard ordered, Miranda stood up, griping her side and limped towards her sister. Lawson stepped back taking Oriana with him.

"Shepard, don't let him take my sister," Miranda pleaded, her voice weak.

Shepard decided to reason with Lawson and hoped they all got out alive. "I have no problem with you. I just want Oriana and the research data." Kaidan and Garrus took their positions on either side of her, letting Lawson know he was surrounded. The man glanced at all three of them and then at Miranda.

"You want a lot." He stepped over to the side, hoping to slide past the armed soldiers.

"You get your life in return, how much is that worth?"

Lawson paused momentarily, glancing at the soldiers and at the exit, before finally pushing Oriana out of his grasp. His gun still aimed at Shepard. "Alright you can take her. But I want out alive, deal?"

Miranda appeared in front of him, her body alive in biotic rage. "No deal," she shouted and Pushed him out the nearest window. He screamed on his way down before colliding with the floor in a bloody mess. Shepard resisted the urge to chastise Miranda for acting so rashly but the woman just looked so relieved to have her sister safe that Shepard couldn't bring herself to say anything. The two sisters embraced and spoke momentarily before Miranda walked over to Shepard and her team.

"What are you doing here, Shepard?"

"We caught a lucky break. Are you alright?"

"I will be fine." Miranda stringed her hands together, suddenly nervous. Shepard remembered that they didn't part on friendly terms. She had been too angry at the ex- Cerberus agent for hiding her son's existence. "I don't know how you found this place but I'm glad you are here."

"Why didn't you call me for help? You could have been killed."

"I didn't think you wanted to see me after what happened on the Citadel."

Shepard ran a hand through the loose strands of her hair. "Look, I am sorry about what I said. I was just…frustrated about what happened. You are still my friend, Miranda and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm sorry to Shepard, I really am. I feel just awful for keeping your son a secret from you. I should have told you and I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course." Shepard surprised the former agent by reaching over and pulling Miranda into a friendly hug. Miranda squeezed back slightly before pulling away.

"I have something that might make up for it." She handed a tracker to Shepard.

"What is this?"

"Before Kai Leng took off, I planted a tracer on him. If you act fast, you'll trace him right back to the Illusive Man."

Shepard took the tracer gratefully. "Thank you Miranda, you have no idea how much we need this. I'm glad you thought of everything."

Miranda returned the smile. "Well, not everything. But nobody's perfect."

"Come on, we can give you a ride off this planet." Shepard led them all back to the shuttle. Before boarding she took on last look around. She glanced at Kaidan who appeared at her side. "I don't ever want to see this planet again." Kaidan chuckled and placed a hand on her back, urging her into the shuttle.

* * *

Kaidan waited for Tara to finish her briefing with Admiral Hackett. Images from Sanctuary assaulted him constantly. An uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of his stomach at the thought of his little boy participating in the gruesome experiments Henry Lawson performed. The Illusive Man would get what was coming to him, Kaidan was sure of it. Tara stepped out of the war room moments later.

"Was Hackett jumping up and down?" Kaidan asked, handing her a mug of coffee.

"Practically." She blew on the drink before taking a sip and humming in appreciation. "He wants us to wait for the fleet to mobilize before heading to the base. EDI was able to determine the coordinates so we do not need to head there immediately. There will probably be some heavy defenses and Hackett doesn't want us to take it on alone."

"What's our next move?"

"I told him I had some things left to wrap up on the Citadel before we head to the base. I will give the crew a twenty four hour shore leave while we are there; it might be the last one they get. By that time the fleet should be ready to go."

"Are you going to take some time off?" Kaidan glanced over in concern. The dark circles under her eyes were more apparent and the sag in her shoulders reflected the heavy burden she carried. Since their defeat at Thessia she had been more driven but also more distant. She turned away from him at night and hid all vulnerability from his ever watchful gaze. He could see the exhaustion in her every step but when he tried to confront her on it she just snapped back at him and pushed him even farther away. The only one she really spoke to was Matthew though Kaidan felt it was more out of motherly duty. But even their son felt the sting from her emotional defenses that had not been in place before.

"I might, if I can get everything done. This could be it Kaidan. We have all the fleets we need and once the Illusive Man is out of the way there is nothing stopping us from heading straight to Earth."

"This is exactly why you need to take some time off and relax before things get really heated."

"Kaidan…"

"No, I'm not going to argue with you. Do whatever you need to do but promise me you will take some time to spend with me and our son; while we still can," he added the last part quietly but she still heard him.

His eyes pleaded with her to agree. She finally nodded and drained the rest of her coffee. Traynor spotted them as they walked onto the flight deck.

"Commander, Dr. Chakwas would like to see you in the med bay as soon as you are free."

"Thank you, Traynor." She turned back to Kaidan. "I will see you later, Major."

"Commander," he smiled, hoping that later meant a private night all to themselves. She disappeared in to the elevator.

* * *

Tara walked into the lounge to find Tali slumped over the bar, a drink in her hand. The quarian was blatantly drunk, and was swaying slightly from side to side. Tara's nerves were still raw from her discussion with the doctor but she knew Tali needed Tara to be strong for her now. Joker had sounded concerned when he asked her to check on Tali, something was obviously bothering her.

"Shepard, hey!" she squeaked out, her words unsurprisingly slurred. "Wanna drink? I'm toasting Miranda, I think."

Tara moved behind the bar and poured herself a glass of water before joining Tali on the next stool. Tali pointed to Tara's water.

"That's boring, have some of mine."

"No thank you, I think maybe you should have some of my boring water. How are you even getting drunk?"

"Very carefully." Tali held up her drink for inspection. The transparent glass held a thick blue liquid sloshing around as Tali could not hold the drink steady. Tara's stomach recoiled in disgust at the sight of the drink and she had to fight the urge to vomit.

"It's turian brandy," Tali continued. "Triple filtered, then introduced into the suit through an emergency induction port." She poked at the "port" in her glass.

"Tali, that's a straw," Tara explained, bemused.

"No no no no. Emergency induction…port." Tali looked up from her drink. "You know she was so rude. With her perfect genes and attitude, but she still got it done. She stopped her father."

Tara patted her friend on the back. "I didn't realize this would be so hard on you, Tali. I thought you didn't like her?"

"I don't. She was such a bitch. But I respected her and that is better than liking, sometimes." Tara could see Tali's eyes through her mask. There were tears in them. "She never gave into her father. She never changed herself to please him. I spent my life trying to live up to my father, then making up for his mistakes, doing what he would have wanted. When do we stop living for our parents and start living for ourselves?"

Tara remembered a time when she felt the same as Tali.

"Can I tell you a story?" she asked the drunken woman.

"Sure," she chirped excitedly. Tara leaned over the bar with her water in hand, taking a small sip.

"I was always a good kid growing up, I never did anything wrong that would disappoint my parents. Even though they were on float most of the time I still wanted them to be proud of me, to notice me. After I graduated secondary school it occurred to me that I was studying and working hard to achieve their dream. They wanted me to go to college but I didn't want that. I turned eighteen shortly after and I enlisted in the Alliance Marines without telling anyone. A month later they came home and my family threw me a late graduation/birthday party. That's when I broke the news to them."

_It was a perfect summer day at the Shepard's mansion in London. Tara was grateful to her grandparents for having a party for her at their home. It had been her favorite childhood home before her parents decided to move their children onto whatever ship they were serving on at the time. But for each summer Tara and her brothers would come back to London to spend the three months with their beloved grandma and grandpa Shepard and Tara would feel like she was home again. _

_Extended family and friends all came to the celebration. Her twin cousins Elena and Emily pranced about in excitement, dragging Tara over to every guy they could find in hopes that one of them would connect with the still single Tara. She refused politely knowing that it would be ridiculous to get involved with anyone when she would be leaving so soon. Tara caught a glimpse of her mother, Hannah, and father, John, chatting with some old friends. She was anxious to tell them the news, knowing that it would infuriate them both. She would stand up for her own dreams._

"I was supposed to go to college to major in political science. That was the plan from the beginning, the dream my parents always had for me."

"You were going to be a politician?" Tali sounded surprised. It was probably hard for her to picture the gun wielding, no shit-taking woman sitting next to her now as a delicate and politically correct peacemaker.

"Yep. I used to love the challenge politics offered. Now it's just annoying."

"That explains why you are so good at dealing with them now though."

"I've had a lot of practice."

_Her eldest brother Jordan pulled her to the center of the guests. _

"_Everyone wants a speech." _

_Tara breathed deeply, this was the opportunity she had waited for. She smiled graciously to all the people that surrounded her. She thanked everyone for coming and her grandparents for throwing the party for her. She finally came to the conclusion of her speech and broke the news._

"_I am afraid that my plans have changed and I will not be attending Harvard University. I dropped out of school and enlisted in the Marines. I will be leaving for boot camp next month." _

Tara smiled at Tali. "To say my parents were shocked is an understatement. They dragged me into the house before anyone could say a word to me. My mother nearly burst into tears and I felt guilty for that. I almost told her that I changed my mind."

"You did?"

Tara shook her head. "When I first enlisted I wasn't completely sure of what I was doing but I knew my father's rank and connections could get me out of the marines and back into school if I wanted to change my mind."

"But what happened? You are a soldier now."

Tara stared into her now empty glass. "He said something that made me determined to stay with the Alliance."

_John Shepard shouted and argued but Tara would not budge. She would just keep repeating "I am eighteen and this is my decision." After half an hour of this John finally gave up, he stalked over to his youngest child and tried to stare her down. Tara glared back at him defiantly. She could see he was out of energy to fight her. He made one last attempt at persuading her._

"_You could have been someone Tara." His eyes narrowed in frustration. "You could have made a difference. You have the brains and the charisma, people listen to you. But you are going to throw it all away to shoot guns and play the part of a man. You will never amount to anything now; you will never be more than a grunt."_

Tali rocked back in shock. "He actually said that?"

"Yes. That is when I decided to prove him wrong. I decided to stick with the Alliance and show him what a damn good soldier I could be." Tara refilled her glass, her mouth suddenly dry.

"How he could say that to his own daughter?"

"He was angry, Tali. He and my mother only wanted what was best for me. They did not want me put in harm's way."

"But surely he has changed his mind now? After all that you have accomplished since then?"

Tara shook her head, regret filled her eyes. "That day was over ten years ago, he and I have not spoken since." She turned to Tali, sorrow etched her features. "So many years wasted and for what? Because both of us were too stubborn to admit we were wrong."

"You should talk to him," Tali suggested.

"And you should forgive your father. It could be the end of the universe tomorrow and we can't get back the time we have lost. But you can make your peace with him and move on with your life. Your father fought for your right to live on your own world. He loved you, Tali, even if he had a hard time showing it."

Tali held up her glass. "A toast to Miranda, nice job you bosh'tet."

Tara clinked her water against Tali's brandy. "To our fathers. Thanks to them we have chosen our own paths and we will toast our victory to them."

* * *

They landed on the Citadel and Tara went straight to work solidifying alliances and cashing in favors. She was preparing for the end, for the last battle. It was coming, whether they wanted it or not, the fight was coming back to Earth. Five hours later she finally arrived at her apartment to find Kaidan and Matthew waiting for her. Kaidan was unloading groceries from several bags while Matthew occupied himself with his omni-tool on one of the barstools.

"I have to say Tara; your apartment is much nicer than mine. Which is extremely unfair considering we are both Spectres and I outrank you."

"Fine, the next time I will let you save the council and travel through the Omega Relay to destroy the Collector base. Then you can have the bigger place as a reward."

Kaidan chuckled warmly as he pulled out a baking sheet. "I think I will leave all the spotlight to you; as long as I get to stay by your side while you accomplish all these heroic feats."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She walked over to her son and placed a soft kiss in his hair. He smiled up at her briefly before returning to his game. Tara observed the scattered cookery atop of the once empty counter.

"I hope you're hungry, dinner shouldn't take too long."

"I was actually thinking we could go out to eat," Tara suggested.

Kaidan slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "We are just going to end up back here, am I right?"

Tara blushed faintly as he kissed her cheek and nuzzled her neck.

"What are we supposed to do?" She gestured to her and Matthew. "Sit here and watch you cook?"

"Just let me impress you. How often do I get to do that?" Kaidan walked back into the kitchen and pulled out two beers.

"You impress me every day."

"I doubt that, though it is not from lack of trying. Do you want one?" He held out the beer for her to take. She started to grab it but remembered what Dr. Chakwas told her and shook her head no. Alcohol would only make matters worse. Kaidan shrugged indifferently and put the second drink away and brought her a glass of water instead. "Why don't you have a seat and let me work my magic."

Tara and Matthew exchanged a dubious look but the boy just shrugged and hopped off the barstool to go sprawl out on the luxurious couch.

"Where did you learn to cook?" Tara asked him, examining the array of food set out around him.

"I took lessons at Jump Zero believe it or not. My mom is a master chef in her own right. She refined my skills when I was sent home. A biotic that can't cook is bound to starve."

"Well I guess you better be the one to teach him to cook because it is not in my arsenal of skills. It is one of the few things I am not good at," she informed him, striking an arrogant pose.

"Besides your dancing?" he joked playfully with a wink. Tara stood up and made her way to his side, shoving him lightly before whispering in his ear.

"A little secret, Major, I dance better in the _dark_."

Kaidan pulled back slightly, giving her an appreciative once over. "I may need to see a demonstration before I can verify your claim, Commander." His voice was low and husky in her ear and Tara could not contain the pleasure she felt spreading to her core.

"Perhaps that can be arranged…later." A sizzle sounded from the pot next to him and Kaidan quickly swooped it up off the hot eye, muttering a curse under his breath.

"You are distracting me." He gently pushed her towards the living room. "Go away." With a light swat to her behind he turned back to his cooking. Tara settled onto the couch next to Matthew and pulled out a holographic chess board.

"Do you know how to play chess?"

* * *

Dinner was delicious and Tara was impressed by how well Kaidan cooked. He was constantly surprising her with his inventiveness and devotion to her and to their son. They sat together watching a movie until Matthew fell asleep with his head in Tara's lap. She stroked the curls out of the boy's face, admiring the peaceful features that so clearly replicated his father's. She was grateful to have both of them in her life.

Kaidan tucked Matthew in and returned to the master bedroom. Tara stood on the balcony, a data pad in her hand. Her brows were furrowed in concentration; her hands clenched the pad tightly. Kaidan approached her and slipped a hand on the small of her back. She jumped in surprise but calmed instantly upon seeing him. He pulled her back against his chest and she relaxed into his hold. Kaidan looked over her shoulder to see what she was reading. Mission reports, supply chains, information of alliances reflected back at him.

"You know you've done everything you could right? You have done more than anyone thought was even possible."

Tara looked up at him, resting her hands on the arms he had wrapped around her.

"What if it isn't enough?" He barely heard her whispers of doubt.

"It will be," he reassured her, taking her chin in his right hand he tilted her face up to his. "You are the strongest, bravest, most fiercely determined woman I have ever met. There is no one else who could accomplish what you have. And there is no one else I would rather follow into battle than you."

Tara reached around to face her lover before kissing him full on the lips. He pulled her tighter to him, his tongue delved inside, clashing against hers. Tara moaned softly, her fingers tracing his jaw line trembled slightly as his hands slipped under the hem of her shirt. The feel of his fingers skimming along her burning flesh sent urgency through her. Lingering doubts plagued her thoughts and she could not lose the feeling that she was holding him for the last time. Whispers taunted her with the future she did not think she could win; that tonight was the last night she would ever have with him.

Tara surged into the kiss, fueled by passion, love and fear. Kaidan lifted her easily, her legs slipped around his waist as he carried her to the bed. His lips left hers and sought her throat, attaching to the pale expanse of her skin. He murmured words of devotion, adoration, and love into her ears, his sweet nothings flaming the heat already burning in her very core. With every touch, with every thrust she clung to him tighter, refusing to release him to her doubts. In the aftermath she lay curled at his side her head resting on his chest. His hand tangled in her hair and the other brushed against her bare skin. His heartbeat soothed her raging mind and she clung to the surety of it. Tomorrow would come soon enough. Tonight she would celebrate love for it was the only thing that truly mattered.


	14. Chapter 14

**Bioware owns all**

Miracle Chapter 14

A Burden Lifted

_She opened her eyes to find herself in a different world. The sun shone gracefully amidst the light blue sky as only the occasional cloud danced across its surface. Tara checked her surroundings and found the area similar to a garden found in an old Thomas Kinkade painting. The trees were in full bloom and seductive flowers adorned the cobblestone walkway she was standing on. The path led her to a clearing from the trees and overlooking a picturesque blue lake. The serene setting reminded her of a fond childhood memory. There were birds, flowers, and trees, and no Reapers. It was a perfect paradise. _

_A lone marble bench was the only decoration surrounding the lake, aside from a few swans skirting across the water. A single female figure was placed upon it. The woman's long brown hair danced about in the breeze, cascading down her back over top of the white, luminescent robes she wore. The woman slowly turned her face to Tara and the Commander let out a surprised gasp. The woman's voice was unmistakable._

"_Hello, Skipper."_

_Tara cautiously crept up to the familiar figure before her._

"_Ashley?" _

_The younger woman nodded and stood up, pulling Tara into a warm embrace. After a moment Tara pulled away and studied her long dead friend. She looked completely changed from the battle-worn, pride-drive, badass Tara had known. There was a serenity to her features, a calm to her presence that had never been visible before._

"_What is this place?" Tara asked, craning her head to look for other people. They seemed to be the only ones here._

"_It is the most wonderful place in existence." Ashley sat back down on the bench and gestured for Tara to join her._

"_It is so peaceful here," Tara murmured, closing her eyes and talking a deep breath._

"_It's an amazing place to live. There is no pain, no fear. Just never ending peace." Ashley shifted her gaze back to Tara who was staring at her with sorrow in her blue eyes._

"_I miss you, Ashley. I wish you were alive and helping us fight the Reapers."_

_Ashley smiled kindly and placed a hand gently on Tara's arm. _

"_I am helping. I am giving you this brief respite; a moment of calm before you rush back into the storm."_

_Tara turned her eyes back to the lake, the reflection of the water danced in her gaze. _

"_I failed you," Tara stated sadly after a long moment of silence. Ashley seemed surprised._

"_No you did not. Shepard, you did everything you could in the situation and I don't blame you for the decision you made. It was the right one."_

"_I could have saved you," Tara whispered brokenly, she looked down at her lap. "If I had just been quicker, faster, planned ahead; you might still be alive."_

"_You can't save everyone, Shepard. But you have done better than most." Ashley studied her earnestly. "You gave me a reason to keep fighting when the entire Alliance hated my family. You helped me bring honor back to my Grandfather's name. You made me a hero and that is all I ever wanted." _

"_But why did you have to die?" Tara asked herself more than Ashley._

"_Evil does as evil will and the only thing we can do is try to resist it." Her calm expression changed into an intense eagerness. "You must resist the Reapers, Shepard. Do not give into the whispers of doubt or fear. Hold onto hope and have faith and you will get through this."_

_Tara sat back in surprise. She had told no one of her thoughts, not even Kaidan knew her fears._

"_How did you know?" _

"_I know you, Shepard. I've been watching." Ashley squeezed Tara's hand gently before releasing it. "Let go of your guilt and forgive your mistakes. You can succeed, Shepard. I believe in you. He believes in you."_

_Tara closed her eyes again and took Ashley's words to heart. It was time to move on, to leave the past behind her. The loss of friends and family stolen from her would never leave her but she could not let it dominate her life. The pain would fade to bittersweet joy and she would live to honor their memories. Tara would fight as she always had but this time she would let go of the responsibility and trust that everything would work out. She released her guilt, her anger, her shame and instantly felt an invisible burden lift off of her shoulders. For the first time since waking up on the Cerberus station she could breathe freely and easily. Ashley's face broke out into a wide grin. Tara hugged her one more time, grateful for the new peace. _

"_Thank you, Ashley. I needed to hear that." _

"_I know. Everything will be okay, Shepard."_ _Ashley glanced over her shoulder before looking back at Tara. "We are almost there, Commander."_

"_What?" Tara asked her confused. `_

"_We are almost there, Commander. We are almost there, Commander. We are almost there, Commander."_

Commander Shepard shot up in the passenger seat; her eyes became readjusted to the setting of the Normandy's cockpit. Her ears registered that Joker was speaking to her so she turned her chair to face him.

"We are almost there, Commander. About thirty minutes left till arrival."

"Thank you, Joker," she answered groggily. The sleep haze began to wear off; memories of the lake were beginning to fade. Had it been only a dream? Ashley's words resounded clearly in her mind and Tara knew it had been more than images of her subconscious. Joker was staring at her like she had suddenly grown a tail though it was due to her grinning like an idiot. She stood up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Everything is going to be okay, Joker. We are going to win this thing."

For the first time since the start of the war he could tell that she actually believed in the words that had become a mantra to her over the long months. She really believed they could win. Joker was surprised by how much this strengthened his own resolve. He smiled back at her; Tara's new found happiness was contagious.

"Aye aye, Commander."

"I'm going to need you to assist Hackett's fleet against Cerberus's defenses so I will be leaving Garrus and Tali here to help with the weapons. Tell the rest of the team to suit up." Tara turned and started to make her way out of the cockpit when EDI stopped her.

"Shepard I would like to join you when you depart for the base."

Tara spared a glance at Joker who had visibly paled.

"Don't you need to be here to help Joker?"

"I can do both, Shepard. I was created by Cerberus and I know their systems. I believe my assistance will be more valuable there than it will be here."

She studied the AI, weighing the options. It was a great risk to bring EDI back to her creators but she was probably right. They might not get far in the base without her help.

"Alright EDI, if you are sure."

"Thank you, Commander. I will go get ready."

Tara looked down at the frowning pilot.

"Don't worry, Joker. I will bring her back safely."

He shook his head, his gaze turned serious.

"You both need to come back safely."

* * *

"So does anyone have any ideas on how Cerberus got the baby Reaper we killed, from the base we blew up, all in one piece?" Shepard peered up at the skeletal remains of the human shaped Reaper the Collectors had been working on. They had come a long way in a short time thanks to EDI's help. Shepard was glad she brought her along. The Illusive Man's office was on the level just above them.

"Maybe they have been working with the Reapers all along?" Liara suggested from her position by the railing. She looked down into the infinite pit beneath them but looked back up quickly having decided looking down had been a bad idea.

Shepard smirked at her.

"You have been talking to Kaidan too much." The Major rolled his eyes and Liara laughed. Shepard looked back at the terror hanging above them with disgust.

"All those colonists were kidnapped and murdered just to create this monstrosity and Cerberus hangs it up like a trophy."

"My scans show that the central core-analogous to the heart- is largely intact. I believe Cerberus is using it as a power source," EDI explained.

"Did he really care about the colonists or was it all just part of some large scheme to convince me to join him?"

Kaidan came up to her, his face always a picture of calm.

"It doesn't matter now. There are a lot of colonies out there that owe their lives to you. And he gave you the tools to help them with, whether he meant to or not."

"You're right. He is not the same man as he was before and he needs to be stopped. Let's go."

The team moved quickly through the rest of the base and encountered surprising little resistance. Most of the troops were either in their fighters in the battle outside or dead already. Shepard dealt with two more phantoms; using a head shot for each while the team removed the remaining armored soldiers. EDI unlocked the door to the office and they all walked in. Shepard threw her helmet into the wall with a snarl after a quick visual scan proved that the Illusive Man had already fled his base. Kaidan tried to soothe the frustrated Commander while EDI accessed the console and brought back up the stolen Prothean VI. Shepard stalked over to it and demanded an answer.

"What is the Catalyst? We are running out of time!"

The green VI sparked in and out before finally forming to its original figure.

"No indoctrinated presences detected." The VI finished its scan before returning back to Shepard. "The Catalyst enhances dark energy transmissions and coordinates the entire mass relay network. In your cycle it is known as the Citadel."

"What?!" Liara chimed in from the other side of the console.

"The Catalyst is the Citadel," the VI repeated.

"So the Crucible and the Catalyst together can stop the Reapers?" Shepard asked.

"That is correct."

"Then we need to get to the Citadel while we still have a chance." Shepard turned to leave.

"That may no longer be possible."

"For god's sake, spit it out! Why is it not possible?"

The VI shook his head in what appeared to be sorrow or shame, Shepard could not tell.

"The one you call the Illusive Man has fled to the Citadel and informed the Reapers of our purposes."

"Damn it!"

"Then the Citadel is in danger," EDI suggested. "The Reapers will try to take control of it."

"They already have," the VI informed them. "It is being transported to Earth as we speak."

Kaidan rushed over to her.

"We have to go. The fleet needs to be alerted so we can prepare." They all moved to the door to find Kei Leng blocking their path. Cerberus soldiers flanked the warrior.

"Take out the troops, Leng is mine," Shepard hissed. The team did as she instructed and left Shepard and Leng alone. The Cerberus agent pulled out his sword, a snarl dominated his features. His stance radiated cockiness and arrogance but Shepard had a surprise for him. With a snap her omni-blade came into view.

"Sword play was a hobby of mine," she taunted. Leng advanced with incredible speed, slicing through the air at her head. She blocked his blade and used all of her strength to push him back. He came at her again and she easily parried his attack and slid out of his range. He growled in frustration as they continued their dance for several minutes. He suddenly rushed at her with an intimidating ferocity, causing her to lose her balance, and drove her back against the lone console. He had her blade pinned under his and his grin turned evil, basking in his apparent triumph.

"You are going to die, Shepard." His other hand reached for his pistol.

"Not today." Her blade instantly deactivated and her loose fist collided with his face, knocking him backwards, stunned. Shepard shot him in the chest and he fell on his back, lifeless. The others had finished off the rest of the troops and she sent everyone except for EDI and Kaidan to prepare the shuttle. Shepard dropped into the Illusive Man's chair and began typing rapidly, shutting down all defenses. EDI occupied herself with down loading any crucial information while Kaidan scanned the area.

Shepard heard a slight crack from behind her and saw Kaidan and EDI spin around suddenly. She saw the look of fear on Kaidan's face as he formed her name on his lips in a shout. She spun with lightening speed; her blade already lit and slammed it into Leng's body body, twisting it to ensure its fatality.

"That was for Thane, you son of a bitch." She extracted her blade with a tug as the skin reluctantly released its hold on her weapon. Leng slumped again to the floor, blood pooled around his body. Kaidan walked over to her, his weapon in hand, and shot Leng in the head.

"I want to make sure this time," Kaidan answered her unspoken question. Shepard nodded, taking one more look around.

"Let's get back to the ship."

_One Hour Later_

The fleets would be arriving at Earth in half an hour but there was one last thing Tara had to do. She stood outside the newly rebuilt observation room door. Her stomach recoiled in nausea though Tara was now certain it was not due to the upcoming battle. For once her nerves were calm and she was eager to return to Earth. She was ready to end the war to and bring the galaxy back to peace. She opened the door to see Matthew leaning against the window, studying the stars. He saw her reflection in the glass and turned to smile at her. Tara went over to the couch and beckoned for him to come join her. Once they were seated she pulled out a datapad and held it out to him.

"The paperwork went through today. It's official."

Matthew looked at Tara curiously before turning the pad on. It displayed a bunch of names and dates that he couldn't understand. He could recognize one name however.

"Matthew Kaidan Alenko," he read out loud and looked back at Tara for confirmation.

"It's your full name," she pointed to the other names on the display. "This is your birth certificate and it states that Kaidan and I are your parents. It is official now and no one can take that away from you."

"Thank you," he murmured, his eyes still glued to the pad. "What is this?" he asked, pointing to a date.

"It's your birthday, May 5th. It's coming up in a few months."

"Then I will be four?"

"Yes. You are growing up so quick." She fluffed his curls affectionately.

"Commander," Joker's voice sounded over the intercom. "The crew is gathering in the shuttle bay in ten minutes."

"Thank you, Joker." Tara smiled at her son. He looked forlorn.

"You are leaving me aren't you?"

Tara slid off the couch and bent down on the floor so she could be eye to eye with her son.

"I am not leaving you, Matthew. I will never leacve you. But I have to do my duty. I am going to take Earth back from the Reapers."

"Are you going to come back?"

Tara opened her mouth to answer but nothing came out. She wanted to come back but if something happened to her, she did not want Matthew to think she lied to him.

"Daddy said he was coming back," Matthew stated. "He said he would make sure you came back too."

Of course Kaidan would say that. The Major fully believed they would all come out of this alive. Maybe it was time she believed it too. Ashley told her to have faith and that is what she would do.

"Yes, Matthew, I will come back."

"You promise?"

Tears filled her eyes. "Yes. Darling, I promise."

Matthew wrapped his hands around her neck and jumped off the couch into her arms. She picked him up and squeezed him tight, unable to find the desire to ever put him down.

"I love you, Mama," her little boy whispered into her ear. Her heart practically exploded.

"I love you too, sweetheart," she struggled to keep her voice even and strong. Tara finally put him down and kissed his cheek. "You need to stay in here and don't get in anyone's way."

He nodded sagely. "I will be good."

"I know you will. And don't be scared about the battle, okay? Joker knows what he is doing. Just stay in here and you will be fine."

"Yes, Mama." God she would never get tired of hearing that name.

"I will be back soon." With a last caress to his cheek she turned around and left, determined to finish the war.

* * *

The shuttle bay was filled with the team. They were busying themselves with putting on their gear and checking their weapons. The air was filled with aprehension but each one stood just a little straighter when she walked by. Tara went over to her locker and began putting on her armor. She struggled to get the chest plate to tighten around her chest until Kaidan came over and helped her snap up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, spinning her around gently to face him.

"I am good, Kaidan."

"Then why are you crying?" He wiped away a runaway tear streaming down her cheek.

"He called me Mama," she laughed at her own ridiculous enthusiasm.

Kaidan grinned at her and kissed her lightly on the lips but pulled away quickly, aware of the others near them.

"That is wonderful, Tara."

"It finally feels real now, you know?"

Kaidan nodded, completely understanding what she meant. Her gaze took on a far off look, her hands rested on her abdomen. Kaidan grew concerned. He took her hands in his and tenderly pulled her closer.

"We are going to come back for him," he assured her.

"I know we are. I promised him we would and I never break my promises. We can win this, I know it."

Kaidan smiled and led her back to the shuttle where the others had gathered. Once everyone was aboard, Cortez started the countdown until arrival and deployment.

"Are you ready, Shepard?" Garrus asked his Commander. All eyes turned to her.

"More than ready. It's time to kick some Reaper Ass!"

Cheers resounded from everyone and hope became their greatest ally. As the docking bay doors opened, the shuttle lifted off and sped towards the awaiting battlefield below.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: A lot of the dialogue comes from the game. Please R&R, and enjoy!**

**Miracle Chapter 15**

**Going Home Part 1**

"Commander?"

Shepard looked to her right and saw Joker on the vid screen.

"What's our status, Joker?"

"Advance teams are away. Hammer is in position and waiting for you guys to clear a path. Normandy is rejoining Sword fleet."

"Thank you. Stay safe and we will be back before you know it."

"I'll hold you to that, Normandy out."

Shepard stood up and joined Cortez at the front of the shuttle. She looked out the window to see the landscape beneath them. It was worse than seeing nothing at all. There was no bright sun, no stars, no street lamps to guide their path. Everything had turned into a fatal and eerie grey. Ravaged buildings barely stood, most had crumbled into ruin. The ground was littered with debris but there were no bodies to be found. The Reapers took everything they could find; always able to find a purpose for useless corpses. Even death had been unable to stop them. Where flowers had once bloomed now only ashes remained. The only color to be seen was the dried blood that had once soaked the ground. It was the only sign that life had ever existed before.

Shepard spotted fires in the area and it gave her hope. For where the fires still burned, it was a reminder that there was still a fight. Earth was broken and bruised but she was not beaten. Today they would set fire to the world and burn the Reapers to the ground. And when it is over, everyone will dance on the ashes of the Reaper's defeat. Victory would be Shepard's, it would be the triumphant survival of every living, breathing being that struggled and won against the oppressors.

_Today is the beginning of the end_.

The shuttle shook violently, throwing Shepard into Kaidan. The roar of a nearby cannon was deafening.

"I've got you," he whispered.

"We've got a lock, Commander! Hold on." Cortez weaved the shuttle in and out, barely avoiding the Hades cannon attacking them. Crew members were jostled to the floor and all covered their ears at the sound of an explosion close to them.

"What was that?" Shepard peered back out the window and saw the destruction of an Alliance shuttle just below them.

"That was the team responsible for taking out that cannon."

"Can anyone else get to it?"

"Negative Commander, there is no one else in the vicinity."

"Drop us off then. We have to get that cannon down before Hammer can land."

James spoke up from the back. "With what? We don't have that kind of firepower."

"The shuttle would have been carrying heavy weapons," Cortez suggested.

"You heard the man." Shepard moved to the doors and addressed the team. "When we get clear, head for the shuttle and scavenge what you can."

Helmets on, guns locked and loaded, the doors slid open and the battle began.

_This is the beginning of the end._

* * *

The cannon went out with a blazing ball of defeat. The ground stopped finally stopped shaking and Shepard could once again hear the sound of her own voice screaming out orders. A shuttle appeared in the distance and Shepard and her team made a mad dash to its safety. Cannibals flung themselves into her path, husks chased after her, always within an arm's reach. She leapt from the railing and landed into the shuttle. An alliance major helped her up.

"Are you okay, Commander?"

"Yeah, I'm alive."

"And I am damn glad to see that," a familiar voice retorted.

Shepard spun around to see Admiral Anderson facing her. He surprised her by pulling her into a bear hug.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down, Shepard." He released her and stepped back.

"It's good to see you are okay, Anderson." She smiled at her former mentor and took in his rough appearance. The long months had not been good to him. His face was covered in an equal mix of dirt and scars, and she knew the sag in his shoulders was not just from exhaustion. He still stood strong in front of his men; always the determined man everyone looked up to, including her. Shepard was grateful to be the one to bring the smile back to his eyes.

"What's the situation?" She asked him.

"Now that the heavy air defenses have been dealt with, Hammer forces can land. What's left of the resistance is holding a Forwards Operation Base for us to launch our assault from. But the Reapers are countering already. Once we regroup it will be up to Hammer to take the lead."

Shepard glanced over at her squad and smiled. "My team is ready. And we may not have started out together but every species is ready to stand side by side to win this war."

"The entire galaxy untied in peace…too bad it took the Reapers to bring us together."

"Better late than never," Shepard replied.

The shuttle approached the FOB and touched down in a clearing just inside the walls.

"Take some time to talk to your crew if you need to. Come find me when your preparations are ready and we can get this show moving."

"Will do." She reached out for his arm as he turned to leave. "Don't worry, Anderson. It will get done."

He smiled and nodded his thanks before moving to the headquarters, leaving Shepard alone with her team. She dispersed them with instructions to prepare and do whatever they needed to do before the assault. It might be the last chance they had to tie up loose ends.

_This is the beginning of the end._

* * *

The buildings in the FOB resembled the ones splattered across London. Concrete and metal hanging on by a thread, just a light breeze could bring them down. Tara moved through the gathering of dozens of troops, all eager with anticipation and dread. Many stopped to give her their undying gratitude for all that she had accomplished. It was humbling to see men and women, people who were not even soldiers but civilians just wanting to help, look up to her as their last hope, as their strength to keep going against all odds. Instead of accepting their thanks and moving on, she took the time to thank each one of them, for all the risks they had taken to defend their homes and their loved ones. Without them, she said, there would be no Earth for her to return to. It was just the boost of morale that these people needed. Each one walked away with a renewed sense of purpose and a determination to succeed. Commander Shepard believed in them, what could stand in their way now?

Shepard found two of her crew members over by a large hole in the side of the building, repurposed as a big bay window, overlooking the wasteland of London. Liara and Javik did not hear her approach and continued their conversation.

"You don't need to die to honor your people," Liara insisted. "If you survive this war there can still be a future for you."

Javik actually smiled at her and stepped just a little bit closer.

"Your concern is…touching. I do not know what the future holds but I would not mind if you continued to be a part of it, for however long that may be."

Shepard cleared her throat and the two stepped away from each other.

"Sorry to interrupt," Shepard grinned at the embarrassed glances she received. "I just wanted to check up on everyone and see if you needed anything."

"Thank you, Shepard, but I believe we are fine." She checked with Javik who nodded in agreement. Liara turned back to her friend and her features did not mask her concern. "How are you doing?"

"I'm ready, Liara. I just want to get this done."

"In my cycle the races never came together. There was no rallying cry." Javik turned from the window and dipped his head to Shepard. "You will win, Commander. You have the entire galaxy standing behind you, ready to fight."

"I hope so, Javik. I am honored to have you fighting by my side," she shook his hand and turned to Liara. "I don't know what I would do without you all." Liara hugged her tightly.

"We are here for you, Shepard."

"Thank you, I wouldn't have it any other way." A laugh came from below them and all three looked out the window to see Wrex looking down at the large gathering of his troops whooping and growling. The krogan were perhaps the most excited out of any of them. This was to be the battle to beat all and Wrex's warriors were determined to be first in line.

"He certainly knows how to rally," Shepard commented. Liara and Javik both nodded in agreement.

"Have you spoken to anyone else?" Liara asked.

"I spoke with James on my way up here and I spoke to the old crew members from the SR2 over the comm."

"That's good. You should speak with Kaidan when you get the chance."

Shepard sighed and sat down on a nearby table. She had been avoiding Kaidan since they landed. She was just too afraid to face him.

"I know, Liara. I plan on talking to him soon." She looked back up at her long time friend. "I just don't want to say goodbye."

"Then don't. Kaidan will remain at your side for as long as you let him." Liara sat down next to her and put a comforting hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You can both make it through this. We all can."

"You're right. I need to just deal with this head on." She got up and headed for the door. "I'll see you guys in Anderson's office."

Shepard headed down to the next level and found Garrus and Tali in a hug a little more intimate than one of friendship.

"Ha! I knew it!" Shepard shouted and they both jumped apart. "This place is turning into a love nest."

"Speaking of which, I thought you would be with Kaidan," Tali stated, irritated at being caught. Garrus rubbed the back of his head in nervousness.

"Geez, I am going to speak to him. I just haven't gotten down there yet." She smiled at them both. "I am happy for you guys."

"Thank you, Shepard." Tali hugged her and Garrus clapped her on the back.

"Are you ready?" Garrus asked her.

"Almost. Just one last thing to take care of." They both knew who she was speaking of.

Tali received a call and excused herself to the other side of the room. Garrus turned his attention back to Shepard.

"James told me an old Earth saying: May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead. I'm not sure if turian heaven is the same as human heaven but if we both end up there…meet me at the bar."

"You bet, Garrus." She gripped his hand. "And if I make it to the bar first, remember I will be looking down on you, I will always have your back." Garrus flexed his mandibles in a sad smile.

"Give 'em hell, Shepard. I'm not losing my best friend again."

Shepard hugged Tali once more before heading down to the street. She spotted her target standing just outside Anderson's building. He stood tall and proud, speaking with one of his recently found students. The student didn't look old enough to enlist in the military much less lead a biotic squadron during the most important assault of all time. But the boy seemed calm and ready as he listened closely to Kaidan's advice. Shepard took the moment to watch her lover in action. He had changed drastically from the shy lieutenant who would rather follow than lead. He was now the confident leader, the take-charge man she knew he always would be. He had gone from being her comfort, her shoulder to lean on and was now her rock, her stability. He picked up the slack when she had been too exhausted to notice anything was missing. She was nothing without him.

She once asked him_, "What would I do without you?"_

He had smiled and kissed her cheek replying_, "You will never find out." _

Tara fought down the lump in her throat as she gazed at her best friend, her lover, her constant companion. She could not go over there and tell him goodbye. She could not pretend that everything was okay. Kaidan caught her in the corner of his eye and waved her over. Tara found she could not make her feet move. If she went over there, it would all be over. She would finally have to face reality and accept that she could lose him. Kaidan gave her a quizzical look and gestured again for her to join him. Tara put one foot in front of the other and slowly but surely found herself before him.

"Commander Shepard, this is Lieutenant Stevens," Kaidan introduced them and the young man saluted her. Shepard held out a hand and Kaidan's student eagerly shook it.

"Lieutenant," she greeted. "Major Alenko has told me good things about you."

"I'm lucky to say the same about you, Commander. It is an honor to meet you."

"Likewise, Stevens. Biotics have come a long way, you should be proud of all that you have accomplished."

"Thank you, Commander." The young man nodded at Kaidan and saluted once more before leaving Tara alone with her Major.

She glanced around uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. Kaidan tugged on her arm and pulled her a short distance away from the others. She still could not bring herself to look at him. He gently tilted her chin up to meet her eyes with his.

"Are you ready?" he asked. His deep brandy gaze made her tremble.

"Yeah, ready for anything. Bring it on." He looked surprised by her shortness and Tara knew she owed him more than that. She sighed deeply. "How are your students? Are they ready?"

"Eager, actually. That's youth for you. I guess we are old soldiers, huh?"

"Hey! I don't know about you, but I'm only twenty nine."

Kaidan rolled his eyes but chuckled along with her. His face grew somber as he gazed off into the distance.

"I don't want this to be goodbye," he whispered. Tara felt her heart clench at his words. He had been thinking the same thing she had and for some reason that made the thought completely unacceptable.

"It's not!" she stated stubbornly. "When this is over I am going to be waiting for you and you better be there." She poked him in the chest with her left hand for added emphasis. Kaidan took hold of her hand and kissed her gloved palm.

"Don't get me wrong. I am going to fight like hell for the chance to hold you again." He once again turned his attention somewhere else. His eyes faded over and his mind reverted back to a memory. "We have never had the best timing. We fell in love in the face of death and were interrupted for three long years. In a different universe we could have met in a time of peace and stability and lived happily ever after."

He looked back at her and grasped her hand just a little bit tighter. "You know what? I wouldn't change a thing."

Tara smiled through the tears that had come out of nowhere. When _did I become such a crier_?

"Me either, Kaidan."

He peered down at her with such an intensity she felt overwhelmed and her knees almost buckled beneath her.

"I wasn't there for you before, but if you will let me, I want to be by your side till the end. Whenever that may be. I love you with all of my heart and in this imperfect situation and in this incredibly bad timing…when all of this is over…" He pulled off the glove on her left hand and knelt down on one knee. Tara let out a shocked gasp as he pulled out a small black box.

"Will you marry me?"

Her free hand flew to her gaping mouth. For that moment the only thing that existed was the two of them. The sound of battle faded away and she could see only the love radiating from the man kneeling before her. Seconds flew by like minutes and she could not form the words necessary to answer.

"Well?" The question came from a familiar gravelly voice up above but Tara did not bother to look up. "We are waiting."

She finally nodded her head and whispered yes. Kaidan slid a thin diamond band around her finger before pulling her into his arms and crushed her lips to his. Cheers came from all around them and when they finally broke apart Tara could see people surrounding them from the corner of her eye. Loud whoops sounded once again and they both looked up to see who had spoken earlier. The crew of the Normandy had gathered in the window and were clapping and cheering them on. Wrex being the one that spoke.

"Congratulations Shepard!" he shouted from his position next to Liara. "But if you ever get tired of that pyjack and want a real man, come talk to me."

Kaidan did not dignify him with a response and instead chuckled as he gestured a single finger in the krogan's direction and returned to kissing his new fiancée. Wrex laughed good-naturedly and let out another cheer. Tara held onto Kaidan and closed her eyes against his chest, basking in the happiness and serenity that was finally hers.

_Today is not the end; this is not a goodbye. This is just the beginning._


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue was taken from the game. This one was sad to write but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. **

**Miracle Chapter 16**

**Going Home Part 2**

Sweat stuck to her brow and loose strands of dark curls fell into her eyes, blocking her line of sight. Shepard hurriedly pushed them away before popping out of cover to shoot a nearing marauder. Beside her James panted loudly and reloaded his weapon. The team was tiring quickly. Liara and Javik were holding up the barrier surrounding them and the missiles but she could tell they were wavering. This part of the mission was taking longer than expected and all back up had been eliminated along with those originally escorting the missiles. Kaidan and Garrus were busy picking off banshees and husks and Tali was assisting her and James with defense. They had to keep any enemies who got past the others from getting to the weapons. Tali stumbled slightly and Shepard knew her friend would not be a help for much longer. A bullet had slipped past her shields and grazed the young admiral's leg. Though the wound was not bad, Tali was swimming in antibiotics and growing weaker by the second. They had to hold out long enough for EDI to program their last missile. This one had to count or the war was over.

A husk leapt over a wrecked Mako and Shepard sliced its throat with her omni blade. Blood poured out from the creature and splattered all over her armor.

_Just a few more minutes, just a few more minutes._

A banshee cried out as it Pushed a ball of dark energy towards the barrier protecting them. Kaidan deflected it with a barrier of his own but the effort knocked him back against the Mako holding the missiles. Shepard moved to help him but Tali collapsed to her knees and she ran over to pick her friend up. Another husk snuck past their guard and rushed at the fallen Major.

"Kaidan!" Shepard screamed out. Kaidan sat up, pistol in hand and shot the husk in the forehead. It dropped back with a thud. Shepard tried to go over to him but Tali weighed her down. Her friend was mumbling incoherently and shaking. Shepard gripped her tighter and moved over to one of the nearest barriers.

"Shepard…" Tali whispered, placing a trembling hand on the Commander's arm. "I don't think I'm going to make it."

"Yes you are!" Shepard shook the woman to regain her attention. "Stay awake, Tali."

The quarian did not respond and Shepard felt a frantic panic spread through her.

_I will not lose anyone!_

"EDI!" She shouted into her earpiece.

A moment later the AI replied, "It is ready, Commander."

"Target that son of a bitch and fire!"

The missile hummed to life and Shepard turned her attention back to the approaching Reaper. The machine whirred as it prepared to launch another attack. The shutters opened and the red center lit up and spun.

"Get down!" She ordered, yanking James down to the ground with her and Tali. The others followed suit and a fiery, red blaze shot just above them from the Reapers as the missile sped off towards its target. It impacted with the Reaper just as the protective shutters closed. The resounding explosion rocked the Earth as the Reaper debris rained down around them. James whooped loudly and was followed by a lot of clapping. Tali mumbled beside her and Garrus rushed to her side to tend to her. Shepard moved out of the way and leaned her head back against the barrier. She closed her eyes and attempted to breathe in deeply. She was sore all over and had more than a few nicks and burns from the battle so far. It was the pain in her lower belly that was bothering her the most. It had started hurting after they landed on Earth and the pain had only grown stronger. Doctor Chakwas had given her another option after Horizon but Shepard made her choice and now she was dealing with the consequences. She could only hope that they finished this war before irreparable damage was done.

A sudden wave of exhaustion tore through her and she was barely able to open her eyes to the sound of approaching shuttles. She looked through tiny slits and saw Kaidan standing over her with an outstretched hand. She took it gratefully and allowed him to pull her up and lead her to the shuttle. Garrus was just ahead of them, Tali hung limply in his arms. Once they were all safely aboard Anderson debriefed them on the new situation while the only medic and Kaidan administered medication to the young quarian.

"Things have gotten worse," Anderson informed them. "Harbinger has left the battle up there and is on his way here. He will probably be at the beam to try and stop us from reaching it."

"Of course he is," Shepard retorted dryly. "Why would it get easier now?"

"This is out last chance, Shepard." Anderson replied quietly. "If we can't get past him, than humanity and the rest of the galaxy is lost."

Garrus looked up from his position by Tali's side.

"So we are supposed to charge to the beam with Harbinger and dozens of other Reaper forces standing in our way?"

Anderson nodded. "That's the general idea. We need to get as many troops into the beam as possible. Once inside we find the arm controls so the Crucible can dock and hopefully destroy the Reapers once and for all. Hackett will have it ready as soon as we give the order."

Garrus looked at Shepard and then looked back at Tali. The woman was in no condition to make a mad rush into danger.

"Have the medic stay back with her and we can evacuate any more wounded immediately," Shepard instructed. Garrus nodded in gratitude and turned back to his '"friend." The soldiers in the shuttle appeared nervous as the pilot announced their arrival at the beam in a few minutes. James stretched his legs and Liara and Javik spoke quietly in the corner. Shepard looked over at each of her friends and said a silent prayer for their survival. Kaidan joined her at the entrance and took her hand in his. She smiled at him, giving off confidence that she did not actually feel.

"I love you," he whispered and brought her glove up to his lips.

"I love you too," she replied. The doors opened and they all rushed out onto the waiting battle field.

Shepard took the lead, charging forward into the fray with her pistol in hand. Kaidan and Garrus were hot on her heels; the others were off to the side. She could see Liara Throwing enemies out of the corner of her eye. The beam came at them in a rush and Shepard felt hope stir inside her. The enemies fell to the Alliance troops easily and it looked as if they all would make it. Suddenly a loud, piercing sound of a Reaper startled them and Shepard looked up to see Harbinger land next to the beam. His red center fired and sent soldiers flying in all directions. James went down first.

Shepard could see that he was still alive but his leg was crushed underneath a piece of debris. Javik stopped to help him and Lifted the metal off of the lieutenant. Liara was next. She dodged out of the way of Harbinger's blast but the fire was too close. Her armor had scorch marks covering it almost completely. Shepard heard the Reaper fire again and saw a nearby Mako explode in front of her and another came flying at them. Shepard rolled out of the way, barely missing the large vehicle. She shot back up and looked around for her crew mates. No one was in front of her so she looked over her shoulder and let out a silent cry. Kaidan was laying on his back with Garrus over him, shaking him roughly. Shepard ran over to him and slid to her knees by her lover's side. His face was splattered with blood, his blood. A wide gash ran across one side of his forehead. He gripped his side and Shepard could see the large rip that had been made in his armor. She looked around and saw her other team members struggling to stand; they were all wounded to some degree.

"Joker!" She shouted into her radio. "Get down here! We need an evac now!"

She reached down and wrapped an arm around Kaidan's waist and led him out of danger. She signaled to the rest of the crew and they all followed suit, too weak to argue. The Normandy appeared within moments and the ramp lowered, allowing the team to board. The medic followed them with Tali in his arms. Shepard made sure everyone was on the ship before handing Kaidan off to Garrus. The turian took him and placed an arm on the Major's shoulder to steady him. Kaidan struggled weakly to escape the turian but did not have the strength to fight him.

"Take him to the medbay," Shepard instructed her best friend. Garrus nodded in understanding.

"Good luck," he replied. Kaidan finally understood what was going on and reached out for his fiancé.

"I'm going with you!" he called out. Shepard took his hand and pressed it to her cheek. She shook her head sadly.

"No Kaidan. You need medical attention, you have to go."

"That's not going to happen." He looked at her, his eyes pleading, begging her not to go. "Don't leave me behind again."

She walked up to stand only inches away from him. With her other hand she ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing down the black curls.

"I have to go, Kaidan." She took his hand from her cheek and gripped it tightly. "But I will come back to you, I will never leave you."

Shouts came from inside the ship and Shepard spotted Matthew racing down the ramp. She just barely caught him as he leapt into her arms.

"Matthew!'' She said, surprised and irritated by his sudden appearance. "I told you to stay in your room."

He ignored her and his arms tightened around her neck. Shepard hugged him close and felt the tears once again rise to the brim. She could not stop them from falling.

"You better come back," he whispered before kissing her cheek.

"I will Love," she promised. "Take care of your father for me, okay?"

The little boy nodded and hugged her leg one more time. He finally released her and gripped onto his father's loose hand. Kaidan smiled at his son, admiring the bravery the little boy displayed amidst the sounds of war around them. He returned his attention back to Shepard and she wished she could take away the pain in his eyes. She took his other hand and squeezed it hard, unable to find the words to say everything she wished she had said before. Time was running out.

With a surprising strength Kaidan yanked on their joined hands and pulled her close. He pressed his lips to hers urgently, his kiss feeding all of his love and fear into her. She did not want to let go, but the sound of another Reaper blast made her pull away.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice straining against the sob she had to force down. "Forever and always."

"I love you too," he returned, a single tear streamed down his blood stained cheek.

She smiled once more at her team and made her way back down the ramp. She watched the Normandy take off again before charging once more towards the beam. Her entire focus was on the beam and she did not see Harbinger's red blast, fire her way.

* * *

Each step she took was pure torture. Breathing was excruciatingly painful, she could feel every burn from Harbinger's beam and the gun shot from the lone marauder made walking difficult. Thankfully the bullet did not hit an artery, but if she did not get medical attention soon she knew she could lose the leg. Despite the pain and the increasing nausea Shepard managed to follow Anderson's lead to the control room. Dead bodies littered the hallways, the smell proved too much for her to handle and Shepard stopped to retch several times before finally finding the admiral.

"Anderson!" She called out, painfully. Her lounges constricted with the effort. The admiral turned around slowly, he was barely able to stand on his feet. The beam had nearly killed both of them.

"Shepard…I can't…"

Whispers filled the air and carved their way into her brain. The sensation was so overwhelming that she collapsed to the ground and gripped her head, trying to fight through the pain.

"I overestimated you, Shepard."

The familiar voice echoed in her mind but Shepard could tell it had come from behind her. She opened her eyes wide enough to see the Illusive Man stalking past to stand in between her and Anderson. Half of his face was missing, replaced with a metallic plate. His eyes looked even more mechanic than before. The steel grey skin and the lost look in his gaze reminded her of Saren when he finally admitted he was indoctrinated.

"What have…you…done." Shepard stood shakily, her eyesight became hazy. The Illusive Man whirled on her, coming to stand a few feet away.

"I warned you, Shepard. Control is the means to survival. I will control the Reapers just as I am controlling you."

"You can't control the Reapers, you idiot. They are controlling you!" Shepard shouted; her voice came out hoarse from her raw, burnt throat. The Cerberus leader did not appear fazed by Shepard's accusation.

"The Reapers can advance us even farther than we ever could have on our own. We only need to control them."

Shepard found she could not move. Every part of her screamed out to stop him but her legs seemed glued to the floor. The Illusive Man raised his gun in the air, with no clear indication of his target. Shepard tried to reach for her own but her arms were as frozen as her legs.

"You don't know what you are playing with! The Reapers are too powerful for you to use like pawns."

"No! This is the way humanity must evolve. I can control them!"

"There is always another…way," Anderson ground out as he wobbled on his feet. The Illusive Man ignored him and turned back to Shepard.

"You are powerless to stop me," he taunted the wounded Commander. She strained her muscles against their invisible restraints but to no avail. "I have complete control and I will harness the Reapers to humanity's advantage."

"Look what they did to you!"

"I took what I wanted from them! I made it my own!"

"Listen to yourself! Look at yourself! You are indoctrinated!" She was able to move her foot just a little bit forward. She would make her way to him if she had to inch it across the room. "You have given them everything they needed to stop us. You were never in control; they were always the ones controlling you. They will continue to take over your mind until you are nothing more than a husk!"

"I…only wanted to protect humanity…the Crucible can control them…I know it can!"

"It's not too late! Let it go, let us go and I can stop them," she pleaded hoping he still had enough control of his own failing mind to recognize the truth.

"I'm sorry, Shepard." He actually sounded sincere but Shepard grew frantic when she saw him raise the pistol again. She had to get to him before he killed them both.

"I tried," he murmured, then aimed the weapon at her.

"NO!" she shouted, trying to dodge out of the way. Anderson reached behind his waist and pulled out a hidden pistol from his ammo belt. The Illusive Man spun to face Anderson and shot him in the stomach just as the admiral tossed his weapon to Shepard. She caught it in one hand and as the Illusive Man turned she leveled the gun at his head and fired. It went straight through and the man crumpled to the ground, blood pooled around him. The forces released them and Shepard hobbled over to Anderson to help him. He was too weak to move and the blood was coming out too quickly from his bullet wound, courtesy of Cerberus.

"Anderson!" She shook his shoulders and his eyes fluttered opened. "Come one, stay with me, Anderson! We are almost there!"

He reached up and patted her on the shoulder weakly.

"You have to open the arms, Shepard. You can't fail me now." She eased him back down to the floor and walked over to the console. Within minutes she had the Citadel arms open and the screen displayed the Crucible coming in view. Shepard took a seat next to Anderson and tried to stop the flow of blood draining from his pale body. He gently removed her hands and squeezed them.

"Don't worry about me, Child. I've had a good life."

"It's not over, Anderson. You can make it." She couldn't stop the stream of tears that fell onto his cheeks.

"I am so very proud of you," he wheezed out, sucking in as much air as his body could take. "I want you to get out of here and live your life with your son and your husband. You have earned that happiness."

"I will not leave you behind!" She shouted but he was past hearing her.

His eyes glazed over as he stared off into the distance. "I'm so proud of you…"

"Anderson!" She cried out and shook his lifeless body. She could stand no more and crashed down beside him, sobbing and drained. She closed her eyes and prayed for the bliss of sleep and dreams but the voice of Hackett brought her back to reality.

"Shepard? Are you there? The Crucible isn't doing anything. You have to figure out what is going on."

Shepard tried to move but the will was gone and she collapsed back to the floor and fell unconscious.

* * *

"Wake up, Commander," a soft, low pitched voice urged her. Shepard barely managed to lift her head off of the cool panel floor. She found herself in a foreign room with glass windows as walls. At the end of the room she could see a control panel with a blue energy bar in the center. All other decorum was blocked from her view by a luminescent figure standing above her. She craned her neck up further and made out the figure of…a man… she guessed. It was in human form but she had no idea what to make of it.

"Where am I?" She coughed out; blood droplets littered the floor near her face.

_That's not good. _She felt her stomach area for damages but her whole body was numb with dull pain and she could not tell if there were any serious injuries there or not.

"You are on the Citadel. It is my home." The figure touched her on the shoulder and urged her to get up. She winced from the contact but pushed herself to her knees, her whole body trembled in agony. She glanced behind her shoulder and saw the platform she had fallen on after opening the Citadel arms. Anderson's body was still draped upon it. She quickly turned away as the tears burned in her eyes. Too many of her friends had been lost to the damn war.

"Who are you?"

"I am the Catalyst."

"What?" She studied it closely. "I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst?"

"The Citadel is a part of me, just as I am a part of it."

Shepard glanced around at her surroundings and turned back to the figure as a sudden thought struck her.

"You are the AI that Leviathan spoke of," she stated confidently though her voice was still weak.

The figure looked at her appraisingly, surprised by her knowledge of him.

"Oh yes, you have met the progeny of my masters. Were you impressed?"

"It was hard not to be." She rocked back on her heels and shakily stood up. The movement took a toll on her body and her vision blurred momentarily. She blinked rapidly until she could see again and focused back on the AI. "They said you were behind the creation of the Reapers."

The AI nodded once and continued walking towards one of the windows. He stopped in front of it and placed his glowing, see-through arms behind his back.

"That is correct. They are my solution."

Shepard eased over to his position but kept enough distance between them. She did not trust the creator of the Reapers. _Who would?_

"Solution to what?"

"To chaos," he replied evenly. "The created will always rebel against their creators."

"Like you did?"

The AI rounded on her and Shepard would have sworn he snarled at her.

"They asked me to come up with a way to stop that from happening; a way to restore nature to harmony. Their extinction was necessary."

"So you wipe us all out in the name of harmony?"

"No, we harvest advanced civilizations to make room for the younger ones to survive. Without us to stop it, synthetics would destroy all organics. I created this cycle so that never happens. It is my solution and it is perfect."

"No it's not. You are a synthetic and you are just harvesting us to further advance yourselves!"

Shepard turned around in disgust when the AI did not reply and started moving to the control panel.

"I am destroying the Reapers and ending this cycle."

The AI appeared in front of her out of nowhere; its facial features took on a look of annoyance and panic. She stepped back in apprehension and tried to figure out how to get around him.

"You cannot end the cycle. My solution is perfect! I will not let you stop it!"

Shepard turned on her heels and tried to dash, as fast as her injuries would let her, for the panel but gravity pulled her down. The atmosphere changed to replicate that of her confrontation with the Illusive Man. The whispers reappeared in her mind and she felt weighed down by the hidden restraints once more. She reached for her pistol and fired at the AI but each round went through him. The gun was suddenly ripped from her hands and flung across to the other side of the room. The AI slowly approached her, and she struggled to move but could not fight the forces holding her down.

"You are too weak to stop me. No organic will prevail against me." He finally came up to her side and leant down to mere inches from her. "Now you will watch as humanity, and the rest of your pathetic allies, are destroyed. This cycle's time is at an end."

"Not today," she snarled and reached into her pocket and pulled out her last life line. "Meet your Maker!" She thrust a small black artifact into the face of the AI.

The Catalyst jumped back in surprise but quickly recovered with a harsh, taunting laugh.

"You think to beat me with a rock? You are pathetic."

"No, I'm just full of surprises."

The artifact lit up in a light blue glow and began to vibrate in her hands. The AI managed to look shocked as it realized what it was dealing with.

A deep, monstrous voice boomed throughout the room. "Your time is over."

The room began to shake violently, sparks shot out from the equipment and lights flickered. The Catalyst was raised into the air, its form simmered in and out.

"NO! My solution is perfect! My will be done!" Shepard covered her head at the terrifying scream the AI released just as it burst into millions of brilliant pieces.

After a moment the room stopped moving and Shepard found the energy to stand again. She picked up the rock and looked into it, imagining the creatures she had met under the sea.

"Thank you," she said quietly. The rock flickered softly.

"Do not fail us," it replied before returning back to its jet color.

Shepard slowly crawled over to the panel and brought out a drone upon her arrival.

"Vendetta?"

The Prothean VI formed out of the drone and stood by her side.

"Yes, Commander?"

"It's time to end this. I need you to activate the Crucible."

The VI came up to the panel, its holographic fingers danced over the display. Once he was finished he turned back to her and gestured to the blue energy bar in the center.

"Commander, in order for the process to be complete you must fuse your life energy to the core. Only an organic can accomplish this. However, in your condition the chances are high that it will kill you."

Shepard studied the AI for a moment before looking past him and out the window at the battle raging around them. The Alliance and the other races fought for life as the Reaper forces tore into them. They could not beat them without her help. She thought of her son and of Kaidan being killed by the Reapers and it brought about more pain than her injuries. She could not lose them and she would not let them or anyone else down. If someone had to make a sacrifice then she would rather it be her.

"I have to stop them, Vendetta. Do it anyway."

He finished his preparations and then once more gestured to the bar. With a deep breath and choking sob she reached out and gripped it tightly. All around her she could see the lights flashing and she could dimly make out the sound of sirens blaring throughout the room. The pain was unbelievable and she could feel all of her remaining energy drain out of her body. Her vision blurred but she heard a mass weapon firing and she turned to see a faded blue light fire from the Crucible. Shepard let go of the bar and crumpled to the floor. She had no energy, no strength left in her body to see if the Crucible worked.

"Commander?" Vendetta's drone buzzed around her face. "If you take the beam you may make it to safety." She lifted her eyes and through tears and haze could see what he was talking about but she did not think she would live long enough to make it that far.

_You have to move, Shepard. _The familiar voice of her chief echoed in her ears, barely heard above the pounding of her head and rushing of blood from her body. Shepard scooted across the floor, every movement more excruciating than the last. She inched her way to the beam and finally made her way into its glow. Shepard did not know if she made it back down to Earth or not, she faded out of life once she crawled into the beam. Her last thoughts remained on Matthew and Kaidan.

**Don't worry, it's not over yet **

**One thing I never liked was how accommodating the Catalyst was in helping you destroy the Reapers so I changed it.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed/favorite this story. You are all appreciated!**

**Miracle Chapter 17**

**Moving Forward**

His head was pounding and when he tried to open his eyes the overhead light proved too much for his already strained condition. Kaidan let a soft groan escaped his chapped lips and weakly lifted a hand to cover his eyes. Muffled voices flitted about and he could just make out the words.

"Major? Kaidan...are you awake?"

"Daddy! Wake up!"

He recognized the urgent tone of his son so he turned his head and cracked open an eyelid. The black haired boy peered up at him from where he perched on the chair next to Kaidan's bed. He blinked those achingly familiar blue eyes and grinned after seeing his father respond to his call.

"Hey Buddy," Kaidan whispered hoarsely; the energy he needed to speak was more than he currently possessed. Matthew scooted closer to him, clearly worried about his father. Kaidan hated to see his little boy concerned about him. Matthew was too young for this.

"Are you okay?" His son asked.

Kaidan nodded and barely managed to suppress a pained groan.

"You are a lucky man, Kaidan." Doctor Chakwas appeared in view, a syringe in hand. "You have been out for almost forty-eight hours. Your injuries were severe but the Normandy got to you in time."

She smoothed away a patch of his skin and deftly pierced the outer layer with the sharp tip of the needle. The major felt the familiar bliss of his migraine narcotics flood his veins. His chest was burning so badly that he hadn't even noticed that the headache had turned into a full migraine. He managed to open his eyes wide enough to take in his surroundings. They were in the Normandy's med bay. Across from him was Tali laying in one of the beds and James was in another. The younger marine was fast asleep; a bandage covered his forehead. Next to Tali stood Garrus talking quietly with the quarian. They both looked over at him, their expressions were unreadable. Why were they all here? His mind grew hazy as he tried to recall why he was on the Normandy. The last thing he remembered was running towards the beam with Shepard to his right...He shot up suddenly as a horrid thought struck him.

"Where is Shepard?" His exclaimed reply came out only as a low grunt and his lungs burned from the effort. Garrus exchanged glances with Tali and Chakwas before his gaze settled on Matthew.

"Matthew, would you please find Liara and tell her that Kaidan is awake?"

Matthew clearly did not like that idea at all.

"I don't want to leave him alone," he stated stubbornly and crossed his arms in the same manner his mother did when she was standing her ground. Kaidan looked again at Garrus and that's' when he saw the turian's hesitation and concern. Whatever he had to say was not going to be something the little boy needed to hear. An overwhelming feeling of grief settled upon him and he had to resist the urge to pull his son tightly against his chest.

"I'll be fine, Son." Kaidan rested a calloused hand on the boy's unruly curls. "Do as Garrus asks."

Matthew looked like he wanted to object but a stern look from his father changed his mind.

"I will be right back," Matthew insisted as he patted Kaidan's sheet covered leg before hopping down from the chair and scurried out of the med bay.

Kaidan waited only a brief second for the door to close before returning to his previous question.

"Where is she?"

Garrus refused to meet his questioning gaze and instead began pacing the floor. It was several moments before he finally spoke.

"After the Crucible fired, it destroyed all of the Reapers, but it shut down EDI as well. This is most likely due to the Reaper IFF we had installed before going through the Omega four relay."

"Where is Shepard?" He ground out in frustration. He honestly didn't give a damn about the Reapers at that moment, though he was sad to hear about EDI. But the only thing he wanted to know was the condition of his soon-to-be wife.

Chakwas shuffled around between tending to his wounds and Tali's. James still lay unconscious, likely put that way by the doctor. She would not look at him either as she passed him to sit at her desk.

"The Crucible blast shot out our core, again due to the IFF," Garrus continued. "Joker barely got us through the nearest relay before we were destroyed as well. We crash landed on an uncharted planet and have been here for the past two days."

Kaidan finally lost his temper and moved to the edge of his bed. He gingerly swung his legs over the side and placed his feet on the floor. If he could find the strength he intended to put Garrus through a wall if his next words were not Shepard's location and condition.

"Why are you telling me this? I just want to know where Shepard is!"

Garrus spun around and stormed over to him. "I'm telling you this because you are in charge now! You are the commanding officer and if we are ever going to get off this planet we are going to need your help."

"WHERE IS SHEPARD?" He shouted as loudly as he could, standing face to face with Garrus in order to force him to finally answer.

"Shepard is dead," was the devastating reply. Kaidan slipped down onto the bed, shock clouded his mind and actions.

"What?" Was the only thing he could whisper. He couldn't have heard the words right, he couldn't have lost her again. Not when everything was going to work out. Not when the Reapers were finally gone and they now had the chance to start a life together with their son. In the background he could hear the soft sobbing of Doctor Chakwas from her desk and Tali's labored cries through her environmental suit. A soft hand gently touched his shoulder and he looked up to see the tear stained face of the Shadow Broker.

"The Alliance lost contact with her after the Crucible fired," Liara explained. "So far all comm buoys are down and we have not been able to reach any help. The blast went through the relays but it does not seem to have deactivated them. If we can get the Normandy back through the relay we might be able to access the comms again."

"She could still be alive." His mouth replied for him as his mind no longer functioned. He held firmly to his statement, believing it to be the truth and unwilling to accept any other.

Liara looked at Garrus for confirmation before continuing. He nodded subtly before returning to Tali's side, taking her gloved hand in his.

"Kaidan...minutes after the Crucible fired, the part of the Citadel she was on...exploded." The last word came out in a choked cry and Liara could not contain the fresh tears springing from her soul. Kaidan did not respond, he could not.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered but he could not hear her; he was too far gone.

Kaidan closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He sought out the familiar connection he had come to know from loving her. He could see Tara's beautiful face, laughing and smiling as he held her in his arms. He could see her teaching Matthew how to play chess. He squeezed his eyes tighter and a vision of her figure came to him, standing on his parents bay window balcony, her long brown hair flowing in the breeze; an infant bundled in her arms against the slight chill of the air. She turned her brilliant gaze on him and threw him the smile that always stopped his heart. She held out an inviting hand towards him and softly whispered:

"I will never leave you."

Kaidan opened his eyes again and the grief instantly faded away into a stubborn peace. He knew his Tara, and that was all that mattered.

"Do you want one of us to tell Matthew?" Garrus asked softly, trying to hide his own grief.

While Kaidan appreciated the offer, a stronger part of him was angry at the quick acceptance of Shepard's supposed death by their crew mates. He looked around at the crying and somber group and his determination strengthened. He would get them off the planet and back to Earth and then they would see that they were all wrong to doubt her.

"She is alive," he announced, much to the surprise and despair of the others. They looked at him with expressions of pity and grief. They thought he was in denial but he didn't care. He believed in Shepard whether they did or not.

"Kaidan..." Liara started but Kaidan quickly stopped her from going further.

"Don't, Liara! She is still alive, I can feel it." Kaidan ignored their shocked gazes as he slipped on his boots before sliding out of the bed and moved to the door. "I've got a lot of work to do so we can get back to Earth."

"I don't think you are quite up to it yet," Doctor Chakwas interjected as she wiped her eyes.

He paused by her desk to study the group. "I don't have much of a choice, we have to get back to Earth. I won't leave her there alone."

Garrus suddenly stormed up to him and poked him in the shoulder.

"Don't do this to yourself again," the turian whispered furiously.

Kaidan returned his even glare. "I'm not giving up on her!"

"Dammit Kaidan! Don't you think I wanted her to live? But that didn't happen and she wouldn't want us to live in denial and false hope. She wouldn't want that for you and especially not for Matthew. Don't do this to him."

Kaidan stepped back from Garrus angrily, worried that he would hit his old friend if he did not get away from him.

"Don't tell me how to handle my son. I will do what is best for him." Kaidan turned around and opened the door. "I am taking him to his mother."

* * *

_**One Week Later, Still Stranded the Unknown Planet**_

Kaidan stepped out of the elevator and onto the CIC, a data pad in hand. He had been going over the latest report from Adams about the engine repair. Things had been progressing smoothly, even without the help of EDI, though it was still not as fast as he would have liked. With the current estimates for repair they were looking at another three weeks or so before they could leave the planet. Kaidan had been working day and night for the past week to try and speed up the process but the others were not so driven as he. Most of the crew had accepted the assumed fate of their commander and morale was lower than rock bottom. Only Matthew remained in high spirits. Though the crew did not agree with Kaidan's decision they respected it and did not tell the little boy about her death. Kaidan continued to tell his son and believe it himself that his mother was alive and they would see her as soon as they could get the ship fixed. Matthew easily accepted his father's word as the truth and went about happily offering his help to whoever needed it. The child had a good heart despite the upbringing he had with Cerberus.

_I have a good son. _Kaidan thought to himself as he passed Traynor at the galaxy map. The specialist spotted him and moved to intercept him. Kaidan sighed and stopped walking to acknowledge the younger woman.

"What do you need, Traynor?"

"May I have a moment of your time, Major? Off the record?"

"Go ahead," he replied shortly and glanced down at his work while awaiting her response.

"It's about Joker, Sir."

That got his attention. The pilot had been staunchly avoiding everyone since they had crash landed. He still helped out with the repairs but chose to work from the solitude of his cockpit where no one else had dared to enter.

"What about him?" He asked cautiously. Traynor began wringing her hands in anxiousness and glanced down the hall towards the closed off area where Joker was residing.

"Well, he hasn't been himself since EDI was...deactivated."

"He really cared for her," Kaidan replied without hesitation. It may have been strange to see Joker with an AI but it was obvious that he had deep feelings for EDI.

"I know, but I am concerned that his grief is affecting his work. We need him to him back to Earth. No one knows the Normandy better than him." She visibly cringed as she realized the double meaning of her words.

Kaidan suspected what she was asking of him but he really didn't have time to deal with the heart-sick pilot.

"Speak with Chakwas and ask her to give him something to boost his energy," Kaidan suggested and tried to move around Traynor but she once again stepped into his path.

"Actually Sir, I was hoping you might speak with him."

"Why me?"

"Well, it was suggested to me that you might know best how he is feeling as you have experienced loss as well." Kaidan tried to hide the pain he suddenly felt at her words but Traynor saw it quickly. "I mean back when the Collectors attacked the first Normandy."

Kaidan shuffled on his feet and looked for the best way to get out of this.

"I appreciate your concern for him but I don't think he will want to speak to me right now. I wasn't exactly fair to him after the attack."

"But he forgave you for that," Traynor persisted and paused for a moment. "He needs a friend right now, Major. A friend who understands."

Kaidan sighed again, realizing that she was right. The sooner he could get Joker back to his normal working status the sooner they could get back to Earth.

"I will see what I can do."

During the lunch break Kaidan grabbed an extra sandwich and brought it with him to the cockpit. The door slid open and revealed a darkened room with only the faint glow of the piloting consoles giving any light. Joker sat slumped in his chair, barely visible to Kaidan as he entered the room. Kaidan walked around to the side of the pilot's seat and looked down on Joker. The pain reflected on the pilot's face was one Kaidan was acutely and painfully familiar with. It was the same lifelessness he had felt after Tara's death three years earlier. Only living through pure mechanical instinct. Kaidan felt a pang of guilt for not coming to check on him sooner. It was clear that Joker was suffering more than the others had realized.

"I brought you some lunch." Kaidan held out the plate but Joker would not even look up. He continued to stare out at the shutters covering the windows. After several moments Kaidan set down the plate on Joker's lap and debated where to sit. Taking a seat in EDI's old spot seemed like a bad idea so he opted for leaning against the window on the opposite side of the co-pilot chair. When Joker refused to acknowledge him Kaidan grew tired of the silence and released the shutters, letting in the sunlight from the planet they had crashed on. The pilot groaned from the surprise of the light and lifted an arm to block it.

"Oh good, you're awake," Kaidan commented dryly as he leaned back again. He grimaced in pain from the movement. His chest had not fully recovered from Harbinger's attack at the beam.

"Go away," Joker responded, his voice devoid of emotion.

"I want to talk to you."

Joker stubbornly looked away from his friend. "I don't want to talk."

"I don't care."

Kaidan let that sink in and waited for Joker to reply. He glanced out the window and noticed several bright orange, bird-like creatures soaring about the Normandy. They did not seem to be causing any damage but he figured it would be something that needed to be checked on before they could take off. He looked back at Joker who had turned his chair to face the major.

"What do you want?"

"I just want to help you," Kaidan told him, placing as much empathy in his tone as he could manage. "I know what you are going through."

"No you don't," Joker snapped back, but quieted quickly. "Shepard came back to you."

"I didn't know that was going to happen. No one did. I honestly thought I had lost her forever."

"But you didn't," Joker pointed out.

"You might not have either," Kaidan suggested. "Tali is trying to bring EDI back."

Joker spun around again so his back was to his friend. He crossed his arms and his tone took on a biting edge.

"I doubt the Crucible was designed to destroy the Reapers only a little bit. It was supposed to take them out for good. She's not coming back."

"Anything is possible, Joker."

"And what if she doesn't come back?" He met Kaidan's somber gaze. "What do I do then?"

Kaidan remembered a time when he had asked himself the same thing. Back when the despair was proving too much for him to live with and the only thing he wanted to do was be killed in action, just so he could join his love in the afterlife. Every day that he kept living was one more day that she didn't have. But he got through it and so would Joker.

"You keep going," he advised. "It is the only thing you can do; and it's what EDI would want you to do."

Kaidan's omni tool beeped, alerting him that it was time to get back to work. He patted Joker on the shoulder and turned to leave. He made it to the door but was stopped by Joker's question.

"When does the pain go away?"

Kaidan did not answer immediately.

"It doesn't," he answered honestly. "It just gets a little bit easier to live with through each passing day."

"Thanks," was Joker's sincere reply.

* * *

His BDUs were covered in engine grease and grime and he had already worn the last change of clothes that he had kept in his old room that was currently occupied by his son. Kaidan had more clothes to wear but he did not want to get them. The rest of his belongings were stuffed into the spare drawers of Shepard's dresser and he had not been up to the Captain's Cabin since the night before the assault on Earth.

He stepped into the elevator and held a hesitating finger over the top level button. He released a shaky breath and finally pushed the button, swearing to himself that he would only be up there for a few brief seconds.

The elevator was faster than it usually was and he arrived at the top level before he wanted to. Kaidan walked into the room and was taken off guard by how empty it looked. He resolutely walked over to the dresser and gathered his clothes, refusing to look at anything else. He dropped a pair of pants and had to been down to get them when he noticed other scattered articles of clothing lining the floor. It had been the civvies they were wearing the night before the attack that had been thrown to the floor during a passionate night of lovemaking. The sight unnerved him and he dropped his things carelessly to the ground. He laid down on the bed and brought her pillow to his face, breathing in the familiar scent that was Tara alone. His conversation with Joker earlier that day had taken more of a toll on him than he cared to admit. The old feelings of loneliness and devastation were still as sharp as they ever had been.

_What if I am wrong? What if I have lost her again?_

The doubts were overwhelming and he felt the sting of tears pour down his face. He could not live without her, not again. To lose her now after everything had been made right was an unbearable thought and a part of him died inside. He was aware of the soft sound of his sobs but he could no longer hold them in as he had done all week. He was nothing without her and if she did not live then he did not want to either. Soft footsteps echoed across the room and he looked up to see Matthew crawling into the bed.

Kaidan quickly wiped away the wet streaks covering his face and forced a smile on his face. Matthew crawled over next to him and laid down so they were face to face. The little boy reached up and placed a small hand on his father's cheek; smoothing away the one remaining tear that Kaidan had missed in his hurried attempt to hide his sorrow. His little son looked him in the eye and Kaidan felt that the boy could see everything.

"It's going to be okay, Daddy," Matthew whispered and scooted closer to bury his face in his father's chest. Another sob welled up in his throat but Kaidan pushed it back down and instead held his son closer; allowing the soothing sound of Matthew's steady breathing to lull him into a fitful and restless sleep.

**More to come and hopefully it won't take as long as last time. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Miracle Chapter 18: ****Return**

**Twenty Minutes after the End of the War**

Miranda Lawson hopped off the shuttle and landed on her feet only meters away from where the beam had once stood. Now all that remained was a pile of rubble in its place. Fallen Reapers and their soldiers littered the ground, amongst the bodies of Alliance soldiers. All was still on this make shift graveyard and Miranda surveyed the carnage desperately. This was the last place Shepard had been seen alive.

"Check for survivors!" Was the command given by the lieutenant Miranda had ridden with on the way to the beam site. Other soldiers fanned out, checking the bodies of the lifeless marines. Behind her Jack grunted as she biotically lifted a nearby piece of debris but it only revealed the crushed up form of an Alliance soldier.

"We should be looking on the Citadel for her!" Jack shouted at Miranda. "That's where she went. She's not going to be in this boneyard."

Around them, soldiers cast heated looks at the young biotic. Miranda waved her over, hoping to calm the woman down before her careless remarks caused them more trouble. The soldiers with them were looking for dead friends and did not need to hear any disrespectful words, whether intentional or not.

"The part of the Citadel she was on is gone," Miranda explained for the thousandth time. "If she made it she would be back down here."

"She did make it!" Jack spat out, while poking Miranda in the shoulder. The former Cerberus operative was startled by the ferocity in the biotic's tone. Though Jack liked to hide her emotions it was clear to see how much Shepard meant to her, how much she meant to all of them. Miranda cast a glance at Wrex who was lifting more debris out of the way in his search. The krogan moved through the rubble like a tornado on a path bent for destruction. Concrete and Reaper bodies were flung right and left as he continued towards the beam's former location. Miranda looked back at Jack and for the first time, gave the other woman an encouraging smile.

"We'll find her."

Minutes seemed to move by slowly as they scoured every inch of the area. The sight of bloodied corpses became too much to look at. With every body they found Miranda would hold her breath until it was proven to be someone other than Shepard. The smell was putrid and she felt her stomach turn from anxiety. If Shepard had not made it back to the beam than her death was almost a certainty. A slight movement caught her eye and she sprinted towards a large piece of concrete laying on top of a pile of rubble. A bruised arm was flexing slowly from the side and as Miranda approached she could see the face of the woman laying before her.

"Shepard!"

* * *

_She was in the forest again. The same forest of her nightmares that had been plaguing her since the beginning of the war. The sky was still the same pale grey and the air still as thick and tense as before. The blond haired boy once again appeared, his eyes a little brighter than before. Instead of running as he normally would, he reached over and took her hand. Silently he led her through the trees as shadowed figures followed them closely. _

_"You did it, Shepard!" Tara heard Tali's voice but only a specter stood in her place. _

_"You kicked their asses!" Was a congratulations from the ghost of James. All around her the words of her teammates echoed through the woods. Words of encouragement and congratulations and gratitude. Heartfelt words to the Commander who saved their lives and to the woman who had become family to them. _

_Tara could see the tree line beginning to thin and gripped the child's hand in a sudden rush of fear. The end was drawing near. The child smiled up at her but continued to lead them through. He stopped suddenly as a clouded face approached them. _

_"I am so proud of you, Tara." She recognized the voice of her lover. "I love you so much." _

_The apparition of Kaidan reached out a ghosted hand and brushed it gently across her cheek. She could feel the warmth to his touch and longed to hold him but when she tried her hand merely touched air. A small clouded child stood next to him._

_"I knew you could do it, Mama." Her son's ghost waved at her. "I'm going to be just like you when I grow up." _

_Her voice did not work, though it never did in these dreams and she could only stand by and watch as her lover and son faded into the night. _

_"We are here." The blond boy whispered and gently released her hand. The trees were sparse and Tara could see a brightness to the sky that looked inviting and overwhelming all at once. The boy tugged on her pants, drawing her attention back to him._

_"Thank you for all that you have done. Now you can rest." With that the boy disappeared. Tara, realizing she had nowhere left to go, walked out of the forest and found herself in the familiar setting of the Lake she had visited in a much pleasanter dream. _

_This time she was not alone. Robed people walked around, smiling and laughing as they greeted each other with hugs and kisses. Reuniting loved ones cried as they held family members they had never thought to see again. Tara moved through the crowds and found her way to the bench where she had once encountered her old friend. She sat down and watched the swans swimming across the lake. The land across the water that had seemed so distant before was now more visible and appeared to be more of a paradise than the place she was in. The sun shone down brightly over the land and the warm air blew invitingly around her. A strong part of her desired to see what was on the other side._

_"You did good, Skipper."_

_"Thank you, Ashley. I couldn't have done it without you." _

_"Sure you could have, you just wouldn't have had as much fun," the younger woman teased as she took her seat next to Tara. They sat in companionable silence as the people began to gather in groups near the edge of the water. Silver boats materialized into view and floated at knee deep level. One by one people climbed into the boat, holding onto each other and looking forward, anticipation on their faces. _

_"Where are they going?" Tara asked. Ashley smiled and pointed to the land across the lake. _

_ "Home," came her simple reply. _

_The boats began to grow smaller in number as did the people still on the lake shore. Ashley stood up and headed down to the water, beckoning for Tara to join her._

_"It's almost time."_

_"For what?"_

_"You have to make a choice, Skipper," Ashley explained. "You have earned the right to be the captain of your own destiny. You may return to Earth but if you come with me you will go to a place of eternal rest and peace. A true paradise."_

_Tara thought for a moment, torn between an eternity free of pain and suffering and returning back to Earth to face possible paralysis and excruciating pain. Her wounds were grave and it would be a miracle if she could ever walk again. But that did not matter to her at this moment. Two faces came to mind and she knew that she could never leave them. She had accepted Kaidan's marriage proposal and if he would still have her, crippled and all, then she would not abandon him now. Her son deserved to have a normal life after all that he had been through and she would be damned before she missed him growing up. With a burst of determination she hugged Ashley quickly before pulling away with a smile. The chief understood._

_"I will see you again one day," Ashley patted her friend on the shoulder and turned to get in the last remaining boat. _

_"Goodbye, Ashley."_

_"Goodbye, Skipper and good luck."_

_Tara watched Ashley's boat sail away across the sparkling water. As she moved off farther into the distance, the sky began to fade into a dark blue. The lake disappeared and all went black. Pain overwhelmed her senses and she cried out in anguish._

* * *

"Oh my God she's alive!" Jack whooped and rushed over to Shepard's side. Miranda knelt down next to the Commander and felt for a pulse.

"Her pulse is weak, but she's still breathing." Miranda surveyed the commander's injuries. Shepard's armor was burnt and chipped in various places, most of the sleeves were nothing more than char from Harbinger's blast. Her face was mixture of scrapes and bruises, with dried blood draped across her forehead. Miranda continued to scan lower and stifled a gasp of shock at seeing Shepard's legs hidden underneath a large pile of debris. It looked far too heavy for her and Jack to lift.

"Shepard!" Jack shook the Commander, a little too roughly. "Wake up, Shepard."

Miranda pulled Shepard away from Jack's grasp before the biotic caused any more harm. The Commander moaned softly and blinked open her eyes. She glanced from Jack's face to Miranda's before trying to move.

"Miranda?" Shepard called through a hoarse whisper.

"Yes, Shepard. I'm here." She opened her omni-tool and signaled the shuttle pilot Shepard had been working with. "Cortez, we need a pickup. We have Shepard."

"Thank God. I'm on my way!"

"Mm, I don't feel so good," Shepard mumbled.

Her words were slurred Miranda noted with some alarm; blood leaked from the hole in Shepard's armor and Miranda could make out a small bullet wound. She pulled out some gauze and covered the wound and instructed Jack to keep pressure on it. She needed more equipment to deal with the small drip of blood coming from her mouth, signaling internal bleeding.

"I bet you don't because you look like shit," Jack remarked, her tone displaying the happiness that her words did not express.

"Jack!" Miranda admonished and looked over her shoulder.

"What? Did you want me to lie to her?"

Miranda just shook her head and spotted the leader of the krogans.

"Wrex, get over here!"

The krogan bounded over to them and dropped down to ground, a huge grin on his face.

"Shepard! I knew you'd make it out alive. You are the Kalros of Earth, undefeatable!"

Shepard waved weakly. "Hi, Wrex."

"We need to get this off of her before we can move her," Miranda explained. Wrex studied the debris and shook his head after a moment.

"I'm going to need some help." He looked down at Shepard and smiled again. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

"No problem," was her muted reply. Jack watched Wrex leave before turning back to Miranda.

"He compares her to a thresher maw but you didn't yell at him."

"Fine Jack, _you_ can rebuke the eight hundred pound krogan for calling Shepard ugly."

Jack frowned but made no other comment. Miranda felt a hand on her sleeve to see Shepard trying to get her attention.

"Miranda. Where is Kaidan?"

Miranda swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. Jack found a nearby rock particularly appealing and refused to meet Miranda's uncertain glare. The Normandy had disappeared after the blast and it was assumed that they did not make it.

"He is safe, Shepard."

The look of relief on her face was heartbreaking but Miranda couldn't bring herself to tell Shepard the truth. No one had heard from the Normandy and many assumed that the ship did not survive the Crucible blast.

Shepard's eyes began to flutter and open and shut and her skin grew more clammy and pale. Miranda felt panic rise in her chest.

"Hey, hey," Jack patted Shepard lightly on her face, careful of her wounds. "You've got to stay awake."

Shepard blinked again and refocused her attention on Miranda's face.

"That bad huh?" Shepard asked her former XO, her self-depreciating chuckle sounded more like a death gurgle. Miranda could only shake her head mutely. She had seen Shepard when she was nothing more than tubes and meat, seeing her injured shouldn't be so difficult. Thankfully Jack was more ready with the much needed humor.

"Nah, you will just look a little more like a krogan than you did before."

"What's wrong with that?" Wrex asked as he arrived with a group of volunteers of all races.

Miranda smiled gratefully at the group and then looked back down at Shepard.

"Shepard, we are going to move this rubble off of you, hang on, okay?"

Shepard nodded and took a shallow breath.

"Lift!" Wrex boomed out his command and everyone lifted in unison. Miranda and Jack took hold of Shepard and pulled her out from underneath the crushing weight as gently as they could. Shepard cried out in pain and began trembling in their hands.

"We need to get her to a hospital," Miranda stated to Lieutenant Stevens, who had brought them.

"The best hospital remaining is in Vancouver near the old Alliance Headquarters."

Jack shook her head angrily. "That's too far! We need something closer."

Miranda weighed the options quickly. Once they had freed Shepard she was able to see how extensive the damage was. Her legs were badly injured and might be irreparable. Shepard had also lost a lot of blood and if she was not given a transfusion she would not survive the night. It was risky to move her too far but nowhere else would have the equipment Miranda needed to save her.

"We don't have a choice. We have to get her to Vancouver."

"We are in London! Vancouver isn't even on the same continent. We need to get her help now or we are going to lose her."

"If we don't get her proper medical attention we are going to lose her anyways," Miranda reminded her quietly, so Shepard would not hear them. Jack still did not look convinced. "I just need to get her stabilized on the shuttle and she will make the trip."

Jack stepped closer to her and the fire in her eyes was frightening.

"If you let her die, I will end you."

"I won't."

Once they had boarded the shuttle Jack instructed Cortez to get them to Vancouver while Miranda tended to Shepard. They were the only ones in the shuttle aside from two other Alliance officers who were their escorts. Wrex had promised to join them as soon as he was able to locate all of his men and get them situated.

Miranda pulled out her medical pack and prepared an injection.

"What are you giving her?" Jack asked.

"A blood coagulant. It should help stop the bleeding."

Shepard grimaced and shifted uncomfortably on the stretcher. She opened her eyes and looked around at the people surrounding her. She looked down at the straps holding in her place and a thought seemed to occur to her. She reached over and touch Miranda's forearm. She whispered something that Miranda could not make out.

Leaning in close she asked, "What?"

"Save the baby."

Jack looked at Miranda quizzically and mouthed "what baby?"

Miranda hesitated. She assumed Shepard was talking about her son Matthew but did not know how to respond. She had already lied about Kaidan and wasn't sure if lying about Matthew was a good idea.

"Matthew is safe with Kaidan," Jack replied for her. Shepard tried to shake her head but did not have the strength to move it and instead settled for a frown. She moved her right hand over her stomach and rubbed it tenderly.

"No…this baby…Promise me you will save my baby." Shepard tugged at Miranda's arm with all the effort she could muster. "Promise me."

Jack and Miranda exchanged a surprised glance.

"Holy shit," Jack muttered and jumped up to join Cortez in the cockpit of the shuttle. "We need to be there now!" Miranda heard Jack urge the pilot. Cortez argued with her about physics and the shuttle's capabilities but she stopped paying attention. Shepard was still looking at her. Her blue eyes demanding and urgent.

"I promise, Shepard. I will get you and the baby through this."

Shepard smiled gratefully and her eyes fluttered shut as the sedative kicked in. Miranda prayed she could keep her promise.

**Yes it was short, I am very sorry for that. The next chapter will be longer, I promise. Thanks to everyone who continues to read my story and favs/follows/reviews, it is very much appreciated.**


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